Welcome to My World
by Kayo
Summary: FINISHED Legolas arrives in our world. The only thing that's different is who he meets first. Object of fangirl's affection meets fangirl's boyfriend.
1. Unusual Arrivals

Oh dear. Since this was deleted for certain death related reasons, I must rewrite it! And I know you're all thinking, why can't I just repost all of it and change the last chapter? Well, this is because I need a new bad guy, so I need to rewrite A LOT of this (some of it is the same, I'm lazy)…and now I know what I'm doing, so it should come out better anyway! ^_^ Thanks for all the support on the original version! I hope I get the same kind of response this time! THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Disclaimer: I'll say this once…_I do not own Lord of the Rings… But I do own Shawn, Jared, Chloe, Nina, Megan, Mr. Star, the Wench, Elidh-Feredir…ya, that's all I can think of right now! ::go me::_

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter I: Unusual Arrivals

_Faster, stupid printer…_ Why did she need him to print this out?? If he were caught wasting all the school's ink and paper, oh the trouble he would be in. The pleading voice of his girlfriend came to mind: "Please, Shawn! Can't you just print out my story for me? I have to be home for my little sister, and you're staying after anyway! It'll only take a minute!" _Ya__, a minute.__ And if I'm caught, I'm screwed!  Shawn glanced at the librarians little office in the corner of the library. She was intently working on something; Shawn only hoped she was really concentrating on it so she wouldn't notice him._

Turning back at the laser printer, he took a hold of the stack of papers being thrown out. The little numbers on the bottom of the page were already up to fifty! _How many frickin pages is this?!?_ Trying to avoid the librarian's attention, he casually walked back to his computer and scrolled down to the bottom of the document. What he read almost made him have a heart attack. _Four hundred pages?!?__ FOUR HUNDRED PAGES?!?_ No, he wouldn't do it. There was no way he was going to print out that much.

After hitting cancel, he went back to the printer and grabbed the last couple pages. Fifty-five. Good enough. She would have to be pleased with that. He threw them all in his bag and headed for the door. The sudden voice of an old malevolent woman boomed through the room. "Shawn Star! What did you just print out?" Shawn stopped dead in his tracks. When did she notice?? He slowly turned back towards the hag. The flower press of her dress and dark grey hair made her look like an evil witch incognito as a school librarian.

"Nothing, Ms. Mac Fillin! Just something for my girlfriend…I'm not quite sure what it is!" Partially the truth. Ms. Mac Fillin hated Shawn. Maybe it was because he had hacked into the school system and destroyed the progress reports for the semester last year, or maybe for the time he had a water gun fight with Jared in the library…there were too many instances where she could have the justification to hate him. He gave her the saddest puppy dog eyes he could muster. No effect. She glared back at him with her arms folded, then suddenly, she had a change of heart.

"Oh, for Nina? She's a good student. I'm sure it was for a good cause." What the hell? Since when did Nina get on her good side? Nina had a place in all of the teacher's hearts. Sort of the teacher's pet, all around excellent student. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that she would be valedictorian. How she ever decided to date Shawn, no one would ever know. Coming back into reality, Shawn shook his head and shifted his bag on his shoulder.

"Ya, I think it was for the science fair!" He lied. She had completed it a couple days ago. Not like anyone knew, or really cared. But it was a reason he could use in his current position, and he would use it to his advantage. "I should really get going now…She really needs this info!" He turned and ran out the door. _Close. What exactly was so important about this story that I just *had* to print out four hundred pages for? Shawn rummaged through his bag and took out the first couple of pages. He read the title. "Crouching Aragorn, Hidden Legolas." _Another Lord of the Rings fanfic?__ This girl needs some new hobbies!__

Of course he knew of Nina's passion for the 'hot elf' as she called him. Oh look, long blond hair that was braided. Holy cow, he can shoot an arrow! Oh, and look now, he killed a fantasy creature! Wait, yes, oh yes, he's hugging Aragorn. Orlando Bloom, in Shawn's opinion, was really quite ugly. First of all, that long blond hair was a wig, and he had a Mohawk during the time they were filming, what did that say about him? And the whole, 'I'm an elf and can do anything!' was a bunch of crap. Frickin acting! And don't forget the ears! Girls fell for the ears. Plastic. Pure plastic. Shawn had bought a pair of elf ears and wore them for Nina for her birthday, just to make her happy.

He didn't know if Nina had a thing for Orlando or for Legolas, and he really didn't care. He didn't feel threatened by Orlando's 'greatness.' He was just another actor for the girls to drool over. And it wasn't like they were ever going to meet him…and kissing posters at night definitely did not count for anything! No, the only person Shawn had to look out for was his best friend, Jared, who had a crush on Nina. Of course Shawn trusted Jared, they had been friends since preschool, but you never knew with Jared. He could be calm and serene one moment, then shooting paint balls at you the next. He was an odd one. Shawn just sighed and looked over the paper once more as he continued his way down the hallway. He didn't hear the footsteps tiptoeing in back of him.

'Aragorn deeply embraced Legolas as they shared a passionate kiss.' What?!?!? Nina was writing slash?!? Shawn shuddered at the thought. _If she thinks I'm ever going to kiss a guy, she's got another thing coming! The thought of two guys together was sickening for Shawn. Guy on guy action, how about no? That was just gross! Next time he saw Nina, they would be having a little chat about this. Nina had actually called him a homophobe, and he supposed he was. But the fact she put stories like that online was a little unsettling for her boyfriend._

"What are you reading??" Shawn jumped back as he saw Jared leaning over his shoulder. When did he sneak up on him? Shawn looked at the papers in his hand, then at Jared, then threw them in his bag.

"Nothing! It's for Chloe!" Hopefully Jared hadn't seen what was written on the paper. Shawn didn't think he could live with himself if Jared thought he was reading slash.

"Really? Are you sure you're not fulfilling your Lustful Legolas needs?" Crap. He read it…Jared threw an arm around Shawn's shoulder. "We all know how you really are!"

Shawn threw him off. "Get off! Man, Jared. You need a girlfriend or something. Hitting on guys isn't exactly fulfilling either!" Jared gave Shawn a sly look.

"I'd be happy to take Nina off your hands!" He started pondering. "I still don't understand what she sees in you. I mean, what's with your hair? Are you trying to be a Filipino player or something? Cut it!"

"And I'm sure girls fall for your long locks…" Shawn muttered.

"Hey! At least it's died! And it's only long in the front! Anyway, I'm the better hacker, better at school, better at sports…better than you at everything. I think you should seriously think about handing her over." What Jared said was true. He had long reddish/orange/blonde locks that went short in the back. He was the guru of clothing for the other seniors.  Baggy jeans and a white shirt, with a plaid shirt over it. But his hat was his trade mark. It was a navy blue cap that said "fear" on it. Fear the Jared…Shawn did fear him. He and Nina would have made the perfect couple, other than the fact Nina was dating Shawn. Not good for Shawn.

"Do you want me to shove my bag up your ass?"

"Only if it relieves you of your sexual tendencies!" _Enough of this!_ Jared was his best friend, but sometimes he just wanted to break his nose…or other areas…

"I'm out. I need to get home for Megan." He started walking away.

"Alright! I'll go warm up Nina for you!"

"Go wank a dog!"

Shawn sighed at his Jared-encounter. He walked down the decorated hallway. It was the famous Spirit Week at Edison High. Streamers were hanging from the ceiling, most having been ripped when everyone left an hour ago. The senior hallway had the theme of summer and fake palm tree blows ups were dangling from the doors. One of the lights overhead had a cutout of a sun while a little ways down, the lights were turned off, except for one, which was the moon. Everyone's locker had a piece of paper taped to it, some with drawings of the beach of pictures of fireworks and handwritten names at the bottom. It had all been done overnight, and had taken several hours. But this effort was not all done in vain. The seniors won the contest, getting free admission to the football game that night. It was a home game, and everyone was going to attend. Shawn briefly remembered that he and Nina were going to the game tonight. _If I catch Jared with her…death be coming!_

Shawn continued his walk down the hallway, stopping only at his locker to get a book, then slamming it closed and heading for the main entrance. It was two fifteen. He had to meet his little sister down at the primary school at two thirty. Everyday he had the same routine: stay after in the library for a while, or hangout with his drama friends, then go down to the primary school to pick up his little sister, Megan, and then walk home and do all his home work.

The walk down to the primary school was past the football field, right outside the high school. They had paved a small road down a hill that connected the primary school and the football field to the high school. After coming out of the front entrance, he walked along the parking lot and to the road that winded around the side of the high school. It was particularly windy that day, and Shawn's black hair kept whipping into his face. It was about chin length, but it accented his Philippine decent. Once again pulling it behind his ears, he made his way for the small road.

He felt himself being pushed along down the road by the wind. He was almost at the football field. Gathering the hair out of this face, he stopped for a moment and tried to find his balance. A sudden gust finally sent his flying forward toward the gate that led into the field. He felt his body slam into the metal wiring and he let out a gasp. His ribs were being crushed against the bar against his will. His eyes tightened closed in pain as he pushed with all his strength in the opposite direction of the wind. He couldn't breathe! Then it stopped. He fell to the ground with a thud. Gasping for air, he looked around. That was the strangest thing that ever happened to him. What caused that massive gust? Still half dazed, he stood up and brushed his pants off. He looked at the gate. It was slightly dented in from where he was pinned. _What kind of force… _he didn't finish his thought. The sudden clang of metal against metal and the cries of agony pierced through the air as he looked out upon the field. There he saw something that could only be described as one ludicrous scene.

Tbc…

Alrighty then. Like? Love? Loath? Apathy towards my lack of writing skills? Whatever. Thanks for reading! Now review, as I go on to rewrite the next chapter!


	2. Umm Glorious Hotness

In some ironic twist of fate, my first reviewer was from 'legolashater,' who said Legolas is butt ugly…Now this is ironic because I happen to think he is a god…I'm just going to assume that this 'legolashater' agrees with Shawn. Whatever…You're my first reviewer for the rewritten fanfic!

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter II: Umm…Glorious Hotness?

Across the massive expanse of grass, Shawn saw something he thought he would never see; orcs. Literally hundreds of them. Well, that might be over exaggerating, but there were about a twenty or so littering the football field. Shawn had seen the movies; of course, Nina dragged him along for the ride. That way Shawn would have to pay for the movie and Nina would be able to gaze upon her other love obsession. Nina would look at the screen and see her hot elf, and then look to her right and hold Shawn's hand. He swore that she daydreamed of him being an elf. Too bad an elf wouldn't be from the Philippines.

The orcs were worse than the ones in the movies. Shawn doubted if Tolkien even had the ability to describe what they were really like. Shawn could smell their stench from fifty yards away. They shouted their war cries and shook their swords high in the air. Most were very confused and were looking around like lost dogs. Shawn jumped behind an overly large trashcan and prayed that they didn't see him. That would be the last thing he needed, and army of orcs using him as a rag doll.

Suddenly he heard the awful screeches of the creatures. Peering over the edge very slowly, he scanned the area, wondering what was causing them to shriek. Several fell at one moment. A figure nimbly slashed through the orc bodies like a knife through a blade of grass. A few arrows flew, but they were countered with a swift movement from the knives. Nothing could stop it. Finally, the last two orcs fell to the ground, and Shawn caught sight of the figure's face.

"Orlando Bloom?!?" The figure spun around, looking in the direction of Shawn. He ducted as quickly as he could behind the trashcan. _Well now, that was stupid. Now he's going to kill me! __Orlando__ Bloom…More like Lord of the Rings fanatic that happens to be an assassin! Shawn felt his heart beating faster and faster, pulsating through his whole body. If anything, the assassin would hear his heart beat to figure out where he was if he didn't see him duck behind the trashcan!_

Other than his own heart beat, he couldn't hear anything else. _Maybe he went away!_ Very slowly, he came out of the fetal position (which he denies he ever was in) and peered over the top of the trash can. No one there. He left!

"Man toi nesse?" (Who are you?) Shawn turned around and saw the assassin pointing his knives straight at him. "Man toi nesse?" He repeated.

Shawn sat there, unable to come up with a response. _Wow, this guy is really into it! Oh shit, I'm going to die! It was then he noticed his ears. They were pointed, like an elf's. And the long blond hair, and green tunic, and knives and arrows…was it really Orlando Bloom in full costume? It couldn't be what Shawn was thinking. There was no possible way. But he had to know. "Legolas?"_

He flinched at the sound of his name. "Lda nole nin esta?" (You know my name?) He paused and stared at Shawn. "Man toi nesse?" he said sullenly.

Shawn didn't know what to do! He was so confused, but he thought that he had one thing figured out. This crazy lunatic was Legolas, which in itself was a feat. He didn't want to be killed, so he raised his hands up in defense. He tried to show him that he didn't have any weapons as he stood up. Legolas eyed him as he put them back down to his side and looked around.

The orc bodies littered the middle of the football field. That would be easy to explain. "_So Shawn, how did these orc bodies get here?" They fell from the sky, I swear!_ That was when Shawn realized something. They were being taped. There was a video camera on the field. There was a video camera everywhere in the school. Shawn started to panic. Had someone seen everything that had just happened? What would that mean? Would they call the police and have Legolas arrested? Of course they didn't know that this was the real Legolas. When they figured that out, they would probably want to dissect him or something. Then they would come after Shawn because he had encountered him, and…_Oh shit!_

"Look, I don't know if you understand me or not, and quite frankly, I don't care! But if anyone sees you, we're dead!!" Shawn looked desperately at Legolas. He hadn't understood a word. He was still pointing both knives straight at him. Shawn let out a sigh and tried to think of a way to make the elf trust him. He tried to think what one of the characters in the movie would do. Pointing to himself and saying "Shawn" wouldn't help. He didn't exactly know any Elvish.

Legolas continued to stare at him. The glare intensified as Shawn stared back. He rummaged through his mind to try to remember anything from the movie that could help. He remembered the part where Gandalf had to say some password to make the door open. And it was Elvish, and Frodo asked what the word for friend was…_Ahh__! What the hell was it?!? Finally, he blurted out, "MELLON!"_

Legolas was surprised that the human knew some form of Elvish, and seemed to consider whether Shawn was a so called friend or not. Judging by the way he stopped pointing his knives at him, Shawn figured he had gained some sort of trust. He sighed in relief and extended his hand. "I'm Shawn. SHAWN." Wow, he felt stupid. Then again, he didn't want to be called, Imshawn. Legolas was familiar with the gesture and they shook hands. "Nin esta Legolas." (My name is Legolas.)

Shawn shook his head, "Ya, I know that." Legolas gave him a puzzled look. He waved his hand as if to brush it off. "Never mind. We need to get you out of here. Who knows if someone saw you killing those orcs." He motioned for Legolas to follow him. Legolas was cautious at first, but where else was he going to go? He followed a few steps behind.

Shawn occasionally looked over his shoulder to see if the blond elf was still following him. He had put his knives back and was looking at the landscape. They were headed for Shawn's house. Maybe he could hide Legolas in his closet…wait, then his parents would think he was gay. Not that there was anything wrong with that! He just wasn't. They walked down the narrow path that was paved to connect the high school with the primary school. Shawn still had to get his little sister. A thought popped into his mind.

_What if someone sees him?!?_ Shawn started to panic again. Not only did he have the school's security system to worry about, but now he had to take into consideration if anyone saw him. That would be just great. Another thing to explain to the elf, why people knew his name. How was he even going to explain it himself?!

He glanced back behind him and saw someone walking down the path…towards the football field! _Shit! It's probably someone from the football team!_ A group of cheerleaders (easy to spot from their brightly colored uniforms) followed the tall boy. They would see the dead orc bodies, call the police, and major conflicts would ensue. The best thing to do would be to bring the Elf to his house. When he heard someone scream from the football field, he urged Legolas into a run down the hill towards the primary school.

They walked down the path as the old brick building came into view. A few trees swayed in the breeze as leaves fell off the branches and danced in the sky as they descended to the ground. The playground outside the school was empty, to Shawn's luck. Maybe he could have Legolas sit on one of the swings and wait for him to get Megan. That could work.

The path started to turn to dirt as Shawn and Legolas passed by the first of many picnic tables. They were on the other side of the chain link fence. Legolas appeared like he was interested in the thin twisted metal, but refrained from examining it. They approached the gate that let people into the playground. Shawn opened the swinging gate and motioned for Legolas to follow him.

"Look. I have to get my sister, Megan, before we head to my house." He put his hands up, trying to make Legolas understand that he wanted him to stay there. As he started walking towards the front of the school, he heard someone coming around the corner of the building. He stopped dead in his tracks.

An hourglass figure bended around the corner. "Chloe?" Shawn choked out. "What are you doing here?!?" The girl glared at him as she walked towards him. Her purse banged against her hip in a rhythmic pattern. Chloe was Nina's best friend, and also Nina's complete twin. Other than the fact Chloe wanted Haldir, for some odd reason Nina couldn't understand, they both loved elves, they both wrote fanfiction, and they both wrote lists of what they would do if their elf was chained up naked in their basements…Shawn had found the list in Nina's bedroom. Chloe stopped in front of him and put her hands on her hips.

"Oh, so Nina has to be around for me to be near you? I see how it is!" She folded her arms. "And for your information, I'm down here for school. I'm volunteering here and learning how to be a teacher," she said matter-of-factly. She saw someone sitting on a picnic table a little ways back. "Who's you're friend?"

Shawn jumped in her line of vision. "No one! I think he's a rapist actually! You better run, Chloe! He likes women!" _Scare her, scare her! Use fear of possible sexual abuse!_ Chloe only tried to push him away to get a better look. _Not working!_ Shawn tried to block her from seeing who was sitting at the table.

"Obviously it's not a rapist, you dork!" She elbowed him in the stomach. "Now let me see!" She ducked under his arm and gained access to the mysterious one sitting on the picnic bench. She gasped in surprise.

"Glorious hotness!"

tbc…

I only added in one measly paragraph to this chapter from the original, while correcting "Phillipines." I swear I'll never be able to spell it right or get the right place down! Uhh! Just a warning, I don't think I'll need to change the next chapter, so for all those who have read it before, nothing new there….but you _could_ still review, lol.

**Responses to Reviews:**

Dreamstrifer: Yes, I can't wait for more cute Megan! Maybe I'll add in something next chapter. ^_^ I love her so much! Ahh, so you don't like Jared…owell. He's modeled after a guy I like's body and the personality of another guy! ^_^ ::hugs Jamin:: "Will you please hack into you-know-what and do some major damage???"

Supergurl15: Ya, it was deleted. You'll have to wait a while for the new chapters. I was thinking about revising the chapters with anything to do with Peter Jackson, but from one point on, what I was planning would've been the same thing. So don't worry, the ending will be nearly the same as I planned it to be!

Josh: lol, you like Jared. Do you like yourself? Again? You've always been hooked on this! "So how's it comin?" My god, don't you know how lazy I am?!? ^_^ ttyl

Witch of Darkness: Yes, there should be more fanfics with main characters as guys. It's more entertaining. Thanks for the review! Glad to know that some people are reading this for the first time! ^_^

Smushed Pea: It actually exists! I printed it out too! (For no real reason at all) It's called 'A Little Nudge Out of the Door' I think you should all read it if you haven't already! You will read more! Lol, thanks for the review!

Katronette: The world needs a lot of things…fanfics is just one of them! ^_^

legolashater: NO! LEGOLAS IS HOT!

See ya later!


	3. Get Off the Elf!

Denotes Sindarin

Welcome To My World

Kayo

Chapter III: Get Off the Elf!

_Umm…I guess he's decent. But I wouldn't say 'glorious hotness.' Wait, why am I checking out another guy??_ Shawn came back into reality. Chloe dropped her purse on the ground. She stared dumbfounded at the elf, letting her mouth drop open without a care. Legolas stared back at her, refusing to break eye contact or make any movement. He looked as if he would attack at any moment. Shawn grabbed Chloe's arm and yanked her backwards.

"Chloe! It's just a guy in a costume, I swear!"

"He's real. He's actually real," Chloe mumbled under her breath. She tried to walk forward, to see the elf up close, but Shawn restrained her.

"No! It's not real! He's just a friend!"

"Shawn! You have no friends who look like him!" Chloe shouted angrily. "Let me go!" She snuck her foot in back of his and kicked forward. Shawn started falling and lost hold of Chloe's arm. He landed in the dirt with a thud as Chloe walked up to the picnic table. Shawn looked over at Legolas and saw he was becoming agitated. _Oh no! He's going to attack her!_ Then the most unexpected thing happened.

Hello! My name's Chloe! Legolas facial expression went from anger to surprise. Shawn lifted himself off the ground and stared at Chloe. Did she just speak Elvish? 

"Chloe?" Shawn muttered as he stood straight up.

"Yeah, that's right, Mr. There's-No-Elf-Here. I speak Elvish! Looks like those countless months of precious online time learning a fictional language have paid off!" Shawn only gaped at her. _She frickin learned Elvish? Wow, that's sad. Wait…no, that's a good thing!_

How is it that you know Sindarin? Interjected Legolas. Chloe waved her hand as if to dismiss something.

Well, I had to learn it so I could charm Haldir! And to make fun of people without them knowing what I'm saying. Chloe sat down next to him. So, how'd you get here? Is Haldir here too?!

"What are you telling him?! Chloe! We need to get him out of the open, and it looks like you're ready to have a casual conversation with him! Come on! There's like twenty dead orc bodies up at the football field!" This caught Chloe's attention.

"Dead…orcs…" she stuttered. "How cool is that!?! Let's go see!"

Why do you have pink hair? Legolas asked as he stared at the freakishly dyed locks. Shawn didn't know what he was saying, but he didn't care. He let out a frustrated cry and turned back to them.

"Look. I have to go get Megan. Promise me you won't harass him, or let anyone see him?"

"No problem!" _Why do I think I have made a horrible horrible mistake?_ Shawn knew she liked Haldir over Legolas, but he also knew that she would never pass up the chance to make a move on an elf. She had before when she went with Shawn and Nina to the mall once. They were walking down to the music store when they passed a guy with long blond hair. Nina and Chloe both gasped and shouted at the top of their lungs,

"LEGOLAS!" While Nina just squeezed Shawn's arm in excitement, Chloe had run up to the guy and wrapped herself around him. The guy was utterly confused, to say the least. As he tried to pry Chloe off him, Nina took out her camera and took countless numbers of pictures. Throughout the whole thing, Shawn was glad that he hadn't decided to dress up as Legolas for Halloween that year. The whole incident left Shawn with the impression that Chloe wasn't just after Haldir. She went for all the Lord of the Rings characters. Maybe even the goblins too.

He rounded the corner and passed the buses to the front of the school. He waited with the rest of the parents for his little sister to come out. Once she was released from the school, he took her hand and brought her back to the playground in back of the school. Megan asked him why they were heading back there.

"I have a friend back there that's coming over our house. Now, he's crazy and doesn't know English and he's dressed up like an elf. So don't make fun of him." Megan laughed the high squeaky laugh that all seven-year olds have. When they turned the corner, Shawn saw why he was afraid to leave Chloe alone with Legolas. Her arm was draped around his neck and she was attempting to sit on his lap.

So, how much do you know about Haldir? Is he…big? Legolas looked so frightened.

"CHLOE! Get off him! What are you trying to do?! Seduce him?!? I thought you had the hots for Haldir!" Chloe stood up defensively.

"I do. But what are the odds I'll ever have the chance to flirt with an elf ever again? So might as well get it out of my system now and get all the information about Haldir that I can obtain." Shawn sighed. What was he going to do? He needed Chloe to translate everything that Legolas said. _Damnit__.__ This sucks._

"Okay, time to head to my house!"

"Why?" asked Chloe.

"Because we don't want Legolas out in the open. Tell him we're going to my house so that people won't get suspicious." Chloe pouted, but did as she was told. Legolas said something to her, and Chloe laughed and grabbed his arm as they started walking to Shawn's house. Shawn just wanted to kill himself, and Megan…Megan was tugging at Legolas' pant leg.

After passing by the "metal creatures from hell," as Legolas put it, (okay, so it was something like that, Chloe wasn't as good a translator as she thought she was!), they walked down a back road for about ten minutes before coming upon Shawn's house. The whole way over, Chloe questioned Legolas about Haldir. Apparently, Legolas didn't know too much about his 'size' and was a little confused about what she meant. And Chloe being the prude-perv that she was didn't want to explain to him what she really wanted to know.

"He probably doesn't know anyway. It's not like I'm measuring my friends…" Shawn told Chloe as he unlocked his door.

"Really? Cause I always thought since girls tell each other bra sizes, guys told each other—"

"DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE! (Girls tell each other that?!)" Shawn stuck his head around the door and shouted, "Hello? Mom, dad? Ya home?" No one answered. _There is a god! Shawn led them all into the living room and threw himself on the big leather couch. Megan was still clutching Legolas' pants, and Chloe was raiding the fridge. She came back with some soda and popcorn she found in the closet. Legolas sat down on an armchair across from Shawn. They all just looked at each other, waiting for someone to speak first._

"So…how exactly did you guys run into each other?" asked Chloe, tossing a piece of popcorn in the air and catching it in her mouth. "I mean, it's not everyday that I get to run into an elf."

"I was up at the football field was this huge gust of wind knocked me into the fence. It was crazy! It was like there was a tornado or something. When it was over, I looked over at the field and Legolas was there kicking some orc-butt."

"I see…let me ask Legolas." She turned to face him. So, Legolas. How did you get here?

He thought for a moment, and then answered Chloe. We were going after Merry and Pippin. The orcs had captured them. Aragorn, Gimli, and I were pursuing them. Then I was here, along with a group of orcs. I do not know how they got here; how I got here for that matter. But I must return and help the hobbits! Chloe translated this for Shawn.

"That's odd," he said quietly. "It's like he's been sucked out of the book."

"Ya," chirped in Chloe as she munched on some more popcorn. "Just like those annoying fanfics. Although there was a good one about this girl and all her friends at a girls boarding school, and the teacher lady witch said that Legolas looked like a girl! It was too funny! A little bit romantic, but cute romantic!" She squealed and hugged a pillow.

"Ya, I don't care! But I'm guessing this isn't like that fanfic. I mean, it's not like in that Legolas was taped killing orcs. Or that he didn't understand a word of English. Or that…Chloe, get off him."

Chloe jumped out of Legolas' lap and back onto the loveseat. "Can't help it. It's the hormones. Maybe I should call Nina!" Chloe reached out for the phone next to her.

"NO!" Shawn made a mad leap for the cord and ripped it out of Chloe's hands. "It's bad enough that you know. I don't want Nina finding out. She'll fall in love with him, and we need to get him back before someone discovers those dead bodies and the surveillance tape!"

"Fine. Do what you want. But you know, you have to meet her at the football game tonight, remember? All the seniors won free admission to the game. So, what are you going to do about the bodies and Legolas?"

Shawn fell back onto the couch. "I don't know." He grabbed the TV remote and turned it on. Legolas became fascinated with the magical box, as Megan still grabbed at his pants.

"Megan, why are you doing that?" asked Shawn wearily.

"I wanna touch his ears!" she said, climbing the chair up to Legolas' head. He eyed her suspiciously as she reached out to his face. She lightly felt his pointy ears and his soft blond hair. Legolas picked her up and placed her in his lap. Megan giggled in delight as they both went back to watching TV.

"That's so cute!!!" said Chloe, wishing that she was Megan at that very moment. Shawn was a little worried at first, but after all that had happened that day, he didn't care. He changed the channel to the news, and his eyes literally bugged out.

"We are here at the Edison High School football field where an anonymous person tipped off the police about some suspicious bodies found dead in the field. They do not appear to be human, and after close examination, the police have yet to release what they are. The federal government has sent out several teams to investigate this scene, and no information has been released about what these creatures are or where they came from."

"Well, maybe you won't have to worry about Nina tonight."

tbc…

Wow. Either people don't like this anymore or I just suck! Lol. Well, I'm not going to ramble today. *very busy*, right josh?

**Responses to Reviews:**

tamara: ^_^ thanks!! Glad you like it!

Josh: o ya, Jared is a hottie. But we all knew that, right? ::8 days of school left!::

Dreamstrifer: heehee, Jamin is my hero. We can have Chloe whip him into shape. Or Leggie…one of them! !! It would be so funny to see Aragorn as a drill instructor! Lol, I dunno, I just had a funny picture of him in a tight uniform yelling at people. Quite humorous…^_^ But anyway, thanks for the review!

Ja ne minna san!!


	4. The Counsel of Chloe

Sorry, no changes to this chapter. Didn't need to. But for those who haven't read it, it's all brand new.

Welcome To My World

Kayo

Chapter IV: The Counsel of Chloe

"They…found the orc bodies? Already?" Shawn muttered to no one in particular. _An anonymous person?_ Who could that be? And the feds are already involved? Shit!_ Shawn moved around uncomfortably in his seat, feeling a slight sense of apprehension. __What if they come here? What if they identified me from the camera? Have they seen it yet? So many of Shawn's questioned were left unanswered as a list of what ifs spurred through his mind._

"Hello? Shawn?" Chloe threw a piece of popcorn at his head. It bounced off him and he turned to her. "Now what do we do?" Shawn let his head drop.

"I don't know. They're going to see the school's surveillance camera. They'll see me and Legolas, and how he got here, and how he killed the orcs. And then they'll want to study him, once they figure out he's a real elf. Then they'll arrest me for some reason, because I know they will, cause the government's fucked up…"

"You may be worrying a bit too much. All we have to do is get the tape back."

"What did you say?"

"We just need to get the tape. It's not like they'll be able to trace it back to you if they don't have anything to locate where Legolas went after he killed the orcs." Shawn stared at her in silence. Could it be that easy? Just get the tape back. That was simple. One problem though.

"How are we going to get past all those people at the school! I mean, it has to be swarming with people and news crews. We can't just walk up there and go into the back room and get the tape! What if they already looked at it?"

"What if they didn't? If they've already seen the tape, then we're all screwed. If not, well then, there might be a chance at saving Legolas. And it's a chance worth taking. Even if we're caught, it's better than doing nothing and sitting back and waiting for them to show up at our door."

Shawn thought about it for a while. "Tell Legolas that we need to go back to the school. Tell him there's something there that could possibly reveal him to the world, which would result in his capture and torture. Oh, and he wouldn't be able to get back to Middle Earth ever again." Chloe translated this for Legolas, who was still confused about how everyone knew about him and Haldir; the whole Fellowship for that matter. But he needed to save Merry and Pippin. He was willing to do what it would take to get him back.

Now all they had to do was figure out how they were going to get the tape. They sat down and tried to think of something. Legolas wasn't much help; he didn't know anything about technology or the world he was in. Chloe had tried to explain what exactly they were trying to get, and he was still confused. But he knew what it looked like, after Shawn showed him a video tape of The Little Mermaid (Megan had handed it to him, it being her favorite movie).

For some odd reason, Chloe had started singing, "Kiss me, Sam. Shalalalalala, my oh my, Look like the boy to shy, go on and, kiss him, Sam." Shawn didn't question it. Most likely another fanfic that she had come across on her endless hours of indulging. After Shawn threw a pillow at her head, they went back to trying to figure out how to get in the school.

"Well. The doors will be locked to the school. Guards will be everywhere. And we'll probably need a key to get into the back room. So, what are our options?"

"We take a helicopter, drop you two off on the top of the school, go through the ventilation system, make your way to the back room, retrieve the tape, escape the building, and helicopter you guys out of there!" Chloe clapped her hands together as if she had solved the whole problem. Shawn stared back at her. Was she actually congratulating herself for a plan well thought? That was sad.

Just as Shawn was about to criticize Chloe's obvious lack of intelligence, the phone rang. Tension rang through the air as he slowly went over to pick it up. _Please don't be the CIA… or something bad like that._ He picked it up and held it to his ear, as the word, "Hello," came out rather squeaky.

"Hey Shawn! It's Nina!" Shawn's heart stopped. Nina? Had Nina seen the news? Was she calling about that?! _At least it's not some government agent, thought Shawn._

"Hi...Nina," he stumbled back. A cold sweat was dripping down his forehead. Legolas noticed Shawn looked uncomfortable…speaking with some little kind of box. He really didn't know what was going on. The whole ringing phone had caused him to almost go into a mental meltdown.

"Hey Shawn! Who is it??" shouted Chloe. Shawn waved his arms, trying to tell her to lower her voice.

"Who's that over your house?" asked Nina. Chloe was grasping for the phone in hopes of ripping it away from Shawn. He held it over his head while standing on the couch. Chloe jumped closer, reaching up into the air. Unfortunately, Shawn happened to be quite the short little boy, and Chloe managed to grab the phone and push him backwards. Shawn stumbled over the top of the couch and flipped over it, landing hard on the ground behind the couch.

He immediately got up and went after Chloe. _Is she mad?! "Legolas, catch!" she yelled and threw the phone at him just as Shawn was about to tackle her down. Knowing that Chloe wanted him to catch the falling object, he quickly let Megan out of his lap and went after it. _Sure! Give the elf the phone! Especially when there's a major fangirl on the other end!!!_ _

Legolas held the little black box in his hand. Shawn and Chloe were wrestling on the couch. Chloe was keeping Shawn from getting the phone, claiming that this was Nina's once in a lifetime opportunity to converse with an elf. There was major screaming, major shoving and kicking, and over all chaos. Megan was holding onto Legolas' pant leg again. She was scared of Chloe sometimes. Legolas yelled over the madness,

"Man mi Elbereth wanyale no?!" (What in Elbereth is going on?!)

"Legolas?" he heard coming from the strange box. He looked at it as if there was some little person trapped inside that needed to be freed. He put it up to his ear, as Shawn had done, and said to the little trapped one,

"Ai?" (Hello?)

Shawn cried out, "NOOOO!!" Finding renewed strength from the possibility of girlfriend loss due to hot celebrities/elves, he threw off Chloe and grabbed the phone from Legolas. He quickly made a cover up story.

"Guess what?! I'm watching The Lord of the Rings with Chloe! She forced it upon me, I swear!" Nina, figuring that it must have been the movie in the background and Chloe being all happy because she must have seen Haldir, responded to Shawn,

"I thought I heard Chloe. I'm impressed she got you to watch it. Tell her I give her props. Anyway, I was calling to ask you if you printed out my fanfic? You know, Crouching Aragorn, Hidden Legolas? Oh, and to ask if we're still on for tonight at the football game."

Two things ran through Shawn's mind: first, she didn't know about Legolas because she didn't know the football game was cancelled due to the orc bodies. Second, he was dead.

"Umm…ya…I could only get out fifty five because the wench librarian almost kicked me out. And four hundred pages? Are you crazy?!? Not to mention that the only thing I read was about Legolas and Aragorn getting it on, or some crazy shit like that." Nina giggled.

"Can't help it! Gotta love the slash! Oh, and no prob with the print out. My dad won't be home this weekend. I'll be able to waste the company ink on his computer. But back to the football game, you going?" Shawn had to think of a way to phrase this gently, without letting her know too much.

"I think the football game was cancelled. Some murder was done after school? I dunno. I was flipping the channels before we started watching Lord of the Rings."

"Oh, shite." Nina sounded disappointed. When she started saying Scottish lingo, she was in either an extremely happy mood, or the life sucks mood. "Well, I have to go finish some things. Guess I'll talk to ya tomorrow. Bye!"

"Bye!" Shawn said before hanging up. He let out a long sigh before turning to Chloe and Legolas. Both stared in complete silence (well, Legolas because he didn't understand what had just transpired, and Chloe because Shawn had actually been able to make up a good lie).

"Whew! That was a close call," he said and sat down on the couch. "Now who's up for some breaking and entering?"

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews:**

AraelMoonchild: Even though you're review was for last chapter, I'll include you this time. I have most of this written out. I just need to revise later chapters cos this was deleted (cos before I killed Orlando and you can't do that!). So now I just have to not be lazy and rewrite a couple chapters.

tamara: ^_^ Now I know why I put this in the humor section. People still find it funny! Ahh, its all good! ^_~

Josh: I LOVE YOU JOSH! Lol, you're a true fan, along with dreamstrifer! Ya, but I bet you're upset I didn't change anything this chapter. Don't worry. Next chapter definitely. Look, I'm off to write it now! (actually, I'm writing the sequel right now cos it's been bothering me and I need to get it out!)

Dreamstrifer: Sorry I haven't talked to you in a while. Been busy! How's Bye Bye Birdie going? Good I hope! I think I'm going to draw Morris and Fluffy tonight. And my 5 personalities! WOOHOO! Everyone loves Joey, Angel, Amelia, Dmitri, and Luci. ^_~ Don't ask.


	5. Breaking and Entering

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter V: Breaking and Entering

"You've got to be kidding me," said Shawn blatantly at Chloe. "You're not actually going to let him go outside like that."

"Of course I am! He looks adorable!" She squealed, almost making Shawn's ears bleed.

"Shawn," said Megan, pulling on Shawn's leg. "What did they do to Le-go-lass?" She said, sounding out all the syllables.

Legolas was sitting in a chair in the bathroom. All three of them were crowded around the now transformed elf. A pink winter hat was sitting on his head, having all his hair stuffed up inside it. It took Chloe many bobby-pins to get it to stay. Not only did the hat hide his long hair (Shawn had offered to cut it all off so Legolas wouldn't look like a pansy, Chloe almost cut Shawn's head off), but it also hid the tips of his ears. Chloe stared at her masterpiece.

"Chloe, he looks like a recovering leukemia patient." She smacked him upside the head.

"No he doesn't! He looks like any normal guy…"

Does it have to be pink?asked Legolas in Sindarin to Chloe. He made a puppy dog face. He noticed that whenever he made a sad or confused face, Chloe would do whatever he wanted. Shawn had called this the "power of the elves."

Overcoming the ever so cute big blue eyes of her esteemed elfling, she answered back, Yes. It MUST be pink. That way we match! Legolas became agitated and ripped the hat off.

This is ridiculous! I do not even know where I am, or why you want to hide me. You said that there are no elves in this world. But somehow everyone knows of me! What is going on?!

Chloe took a step back. She hadn't imagined her second love acting so angry. It was scary! Shawn asked what Legolas had just yelled, and she told him he asked why everyone knew about him. Shawn glanced at Legolas. _How am I supposed to tell him this? Ya, you're a fictional character in the real world. __Everyone knows you because you were seen by the world-played by __Orlando_ Bloom. You're desired by women everywhere, and no matter where you go in our world, people will be after you._ _I don't think he'd be able to cope with that. How to simplify…__

"Tell him that everyone knows him because everyone knows of his saga. Everyone knows about the Ring and Sauron and Frodo. Just tell him that he's widely, *WIDELY*, known in our world."

Legolas stared at them after hearing their explanation. He couldn't believe it. How did they know? They didn't even have elves in this world…how was it that everyone could know of him and the whole Fellowship? It didn't make any sense.

It's all written in a book. You're whole adventure, it's just a fictional story, Chloe told him. Legolas sat back down in the chair. His hair was still pinned up with bobby-pins. The shock was unsettling for the young elf. He wasn't real? That wasn't possible. He was real in Middle-earth. Maybe this "fictional story" was just forgotten. Maybe he was in the future. He thought of all the possible ways that could explain it. Nothing seemed logical enough. Shawn put a hand on his shoulder.

"Look, even if you're fictional here, you're still a person—well an elf—but we're going to get you back to Middle-earth. From what I hear, you need to rescue Merry and Pippin!" Legolas smiled. Shawn was right. No matter what world he was in, he still had other problems to deal with. And he intended to save the hobbits, no matter how long it would take to return.

~*~

The school wasn't that far away. It took all but ten minutes to get there from Shawn's house. After an hour of arguing and running around the house, they had figured out a way to make Legolas look a wee bit more…not an elf. The first idea of a pink hat had been discarded; due to the fact Legolas was not too fond of the color pink. The second idea of a Scream mask had also been put aside; they had chased the elf around the house trying to make him put it on. Finally, they agreed on putting a black hoodie sweater, with the hood up, on him, along with some khaki pants Shawn found in his room.

Legolas had muttered something about looking like a Nazgul, but Chloe wouldn't tell Shawn the remark. Before they left, Chloe had taken off a couple of her bracelets (she had over twenty on) and gave them to Legolas to wear. He was incognito as a punk. Since they couldn't exactly walk up to the school with knives or bows and arrows, Legolas put his knives in the pocket in the sweater and left his bow at Shawn's house. He was reluctant to leave it, but after some explaining how his weapons were medieval and people would become curious, he left them behind.

His bow wasn't the only thing left behind; Chloe refused to go! She had told them that if they were going to break into the school, she wasn't going to be the one arrested. _Stupid instigator,_ thought Shawn. _She was the one who persuaded me into doing this!_ Since Shawn and Legolas clearly could not communicate, lack of Sindarin on Shawn's part, lack of English on Legolas', Chloe agreed to use walkie talkies. Once again, Legolas was amazed by the little voice that came out of the box. Chloe would translate anything that Shawn and Legolas had to tell each other.

The school was coming into view as they walked up the hill. Shawn's heart began to beat faster and faster. What if they were caught? What if they took Legolas away? What if he were arrested?! _Calm down! We just have to get in, get the tape, and get out! After coming to the top of the hill, it was clear to both of them that it wasn't going to be easy._

Since the report of the dead orc bodies, over a hundred government agents, media news crews, and onlookers had come to see. The football field was littered with men in white suits, protected from what were potentially diseased aliens. The onlookers talked wildly about the scene. They knew they were orcs. It was blatantly obvious that they were orcs. And since they were DEAD orcs, the spectators assumed that they must have been killed by someone, presumably someone of the orc-world, aka Middle-earth. And so a Fellowship was started, the ones who believed that it was Aragorn that killed the orcs, because of the gashes that were clearly visible through the orc throats; the ones who believed that it was Boromir, also for the sword gashes; others believed it was Legolas with his knives—only to be countered by the Boromir and Aragorn Fellowships because Legolas would have used his arrows—and the Legolas Fellowship compensated saying that Legolas DID use his knives to kill orcs when in close combat. There was no Gimli Fellowship. Gimli used an ax to kill things…and no one thought that a dwarf could kill so many orcs so cleanly.

The rest of the figures on the scene seemed to be working like crazy to figure out what had transpired only a couple hours before. Certain questions had been answered, such as some news teams had reported that yes, indeed, the dead bodies were orcs. Other news teams said that there were suspicions that there was a Tolkien fanatic in the area, and that the dead bodies were actually costumes. Peter Jackson had already been contacted, being questioned if he had allowed any kind of recoding being done in the area, something of that sort. That was a dead end. So many rumors were being spread around; no one heard the government's take on what had occurred.

Shawn began to have second thoughts. There were way too many people around. It would be too obvious to break into the school from the back. The plan had been to sneak into the back of the school through the doors on the first floor, then head to the front of the school via the first floor hallway, up the stairs, stop at second floor, head to main office, possible breakage of a window, get the tape, and exit through second floor window (the school was on a hill. The first floor was sort of underground at some points. The front entrance to Edison High was actually the second floor.) Now that there were so many people around, Shawn doubted if they would even be able to get close to the school. _Hopefully none of these fangirls will try to look underneath Legolas' hoodie!_ Just Shawn's luck that most of the girls in his town were punk.

"Chloe. We've got a problem. Fangirls. News crews. Big security guys in black—WITH guns. What do we do?!"

"I take it there's no way into the building?"

"Not really, no."

"Duh, there's always a way in! Art room! The windows are always open from the painting and pottery. First floor in the back! Happy hunting! And Legolas, look out for the girls, they may try to grope you…" She said the word "grope" in English.

"Grope?" Legolas asked Shawn, not quite understanding what she meant by that. Shawn held the Morse code button for a couple seconds, hoping that Chloe's ear might possibly bleed from the annoying buzz. Shawn motioned for Legolas to follow him.

As if fate had dealt them a deadly hand, Legolas felt eyes watching him. He saw the dead orcs on the ground where he had slain them earlier. No. There was something much worse than a bunch of orcs around. Legolas stopped in his tracks, receiving attention from Shawn. As Shawn opened his mouth to undoubtedly ask why Legolas had stopped, he remarked, "Dartha…Gwaith antha lye." (Wait…Someone watches us.)

"Huh?" Shawn looked around and couldn't believe his eyes when they came to rest upon the one person he dreaded. Jared. He was on the field, with his video camera, no less. _Of all the times to be here, why now?!? Shawn mentally cursed himself. The only thing that could make it worse would be if Nina showed up. Quickly taking in the scene, he made sure he hadn't just jinxed himself, and gave a deep sigh. Things were about to become very complicated._

"Legolas, at all costs, avoid that guy," Shawn said and pointed toward the red clad teen as Chloe translated. Legolas stared at him for a few seconds before Shawn made a motion to leave again. Somehow, he didn't think that this teenager was the one who was watching them.

Making their way behind a giant white van (and out of Jared's sight), Shawn waited for the people on the other side to leave and take a look at the orc bodies. _Big white van, how I love you so,_ Shawn thought as they hid inconspicuously behind the massive car. The Fellowships, along with everyone else, were on the other side. The only coverage that Shawn and Legolas had were the big vans and bushes that lined up beside the brick building. The parking lot next to the football field was literally filled. Even a helicopter had flown by, most likely for the news or for the government.

Shawn looked around the corner of the van; not too many people present. _Walk casually. Must walk casually. No deadly weapons on me…no elves…no feebly attempts at stealing! _Someone grabbed Shawn's shoulder. He tensed; Legolas was in front of him. He slowly turned around to see an older man looking down at him. He tried not to freak out, he really did. But where you're housing a Middle-earth escapee, it's hard not to be apprehensive!

"Excuse me, what are you doing back here?" asked the man in black. Apparently, Shawn had forgotten to read to big CIA letters on the white van. The first thing that popped into Shawn's mind was a rather disturbing thought, but one that could work. He grabbed Legolas around the waist and said as confidently as he could,

"I'm seeing what all the commotion is about with my boyfriend!" _WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?!?!?!?_ His brain screamed at him. The action however, took the guard by surprise.

"Ohh…uhh…I'm sorry, sirs, but…uh…you may want to do that somewhere else…" he stammered. Shawn nodded and led Legolas closer to the school, with the full authorization of going where he pleased. When they reached the back of the school, Legolas gave Shawn the weirdest look that he had ever seen. He clicked on the walkie talkie, dreading what he had to tell Chloe.

"Chloe…"

"Ya, what's up?" she asked casually. A loud chewing sound was heard…_popcorn at a time like this?_ thought Shawn.

"Can you tell Legolas that I had to do that to make the guard let us through?"

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!?!"

"NOTHING! (of importance)" Shawn screamed back. After the message relay, Legolas still was a little displeased, to say the least. They reached the art room window and, thankfully, it was open. The bushes hid them from sight, and most people were paying attention in front of them, not behind.

They entered the dark room. The smell of paint tainted the air. Legolas unconsciously shivered. The dark was no place for an elf. Shawn led them through the tables of drying paintings and clay moldings. It was sort of creepy. A huge dragon sculpture was staring coldly at them. If there was more light, both would have been fascinated by the magnificent piece of art. In the dark, it was as if the creature would come alive and attack them.

Shaking the thought off, Shawn went to the door. He twisted the knob, only to see that it didn't budge. "It's locked." He turned back to Legolas with a look of defeat. "We can't get out of here…" Legolas noticed the predicament without the helpful translation of Chloe. Some things were understood without words.

"Al loomin," (No problem.) he said with the hint of a smile. With a swift twist of the wrist, a blade appeared and in a swift motion, the doorknob was gone.

"Wish I had a set of those!" Shawn said as he held the fallen end of the doorknob in his hand. Legolas noted the appreciation in Shawn's voice and smiled. Shawn pulled the door towards them and stuck his head out into the hallway. No one. They crept out of the room and headed for the stairwell. There was no sign of life in the empty hall. This was a good thing! No one to see the act of vandalism!

They reached the main office in a minute, and with the nifty knob-be-gone technique of Legolas' blades, they entered the office. The control center of where the students were spied on was just ahead. They were almost done! Access was gained by the blades of doom, and Shawn searched the room. It was very simple, not at all what Shawn had thought. He was picturing a room with a bunch of tvs and a tables. The real room was more like a closet with a small desk and chair, a tv on the wall, and a computer. He looked around the room for a moment, and then found what he was looking for—the current recordings.

They happened to be on the computer. The school's cameras were all linked to this one computer. _Good thing I happen to be an expert at hacking!_ With the latest recording deleted, and the cameras all turned off, he got out of the chair and went toward the door. Legolas looked back at the computer and at Shawn. Where was the tape, like the one Chloe had shown them? Shawn remembered that, and told Chloe to tell him that the information was deleted, that there wasn't a tape. With that taken care of, they exited the office and headed for the stairwell. A feeling of total success enveloped Shawn. Legolas was eyeing the halls as if something was watching them. Shawn brushed it off. _Almost home free! He thought as they walked down the stairs. Shawn really had to stop jinxing himself though._

"Hiya Shawn!" Shawn stopped dead in his tracks. He slowly turned around, as did Legolas. _Please don't be Jared and/or government agent. To Shawn's surprise, it was neither. It was the loser guy Ron Dorslau. __What the hell is he doing here? He and Jared used to beat him up in Middle school, and then he disappeared for a while. Why would he turn up now?_

"Ron? What are you doing here?" Shawn asked agitated. He didn't have time for him. As long as he hadn't seen them breaking into the office or Legolas, he couldn't care less.

"Oh, just waiting…" _That's a little vague._

"Waiting for what?"

"Certain people to arrive…and I guess they have." Shawn's heart stopped. _Waiting for certain people to arrive…does he mean Legolas?_

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews**

Josh: Alrighty, found out I don't need to change that much for this. Only to when Elidh-Feredir shows up. Then I need to change the almighty villain. ::wonders if anyone will figure out who it is:: ^_^ ttyl, I wanna get this posted and good luck reading HP!

Erikalya Arvanesse: damn straight it's a great story, lol, just kidding! I SWEAR!

Dreamstrifer: Only you and Josh are true fans! Stayed with it even though it was kicked off. How sad. Ya, maybe I should've changed how Nina reacted to Legolas on the phone. Oh well, I wanted to get the chapter up. But anyway, several things are starting to change! Woo hoo! And I've almost figured out how I can make everything work in the end and still end up with the way the sequel begins. ::tears of joy:: I got 20 reviews!!! lol


	6. The Fellowship Strikes Again

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter VI: The Fellowship Strikes Again

Legolas had had the feeling they were being watched the entire time. As he looked at this human in front of him, he could only wonder if this was who he felt. He certainly looked harmless; he was tiny! Barely making 5'2, he was sitting at the top of the stairs watching him and Shawn. However, there was something in his eyes that made Legolas tense. It was like they dug into him, some kind of sadistic amusement sparkled in them. He had seen them somewhere before, but he couldn't remember where.

Shawn, on the other hand, was freaking out. Did he know about Legolas or not?? Maybe he was waiting for a friend, or a policeman! Who knew what this guy was up to! Knowing that Legolas couldn't talk (it would give away his cover as a punk), Shawn had to figure out what Ron was after.

"So, uh, Ron, who exactly are you waiting for?" _Please god, say anyone other than Legolas…oh and Nina, don't want find out she's cheating on me or something…_

"I'm waiting for El. He was supposed to show up a few hours ago. But then all these news crews arrived when some orc bodies showed up. I hope El didn't get lost in the madness of it all. He's from another country."

Shawn sighed. _There is a god!_ "Oh well then…I haven't seen anyone new here..." He chuckled nervously. "Well, I guess I have if you count all the news reporters and people like that. But I don't think we're allowed in here. Maybe we should head out? I'll keep a lookout for El if you like…"

Ron nodded and smirked. "That would be very helpful." He started to get up. "Give me a call if you find him." He walked down the hallway out of sight. Shawn thought for a moment before yelling up the stairs,

"Wait! I don't even know where you live, never mind your phone number!!" No one answered him. _Oh well. He doesn't seem to know about Legolas, so I guess we're safe for now…_

"HEY!" Shawn jumped as Chloe yelled through the walkie talkie. "You guys almost done?!? I thought you said you were a professional hacker!"

"SHUT UP, CHLOE! We ran into a little…problem…but no worries! We're on our way back now!"

"Damn straight. I miss my Legolas! Megan misses you Legolas! I think she needs a hug when you get back!"

They made their way down the rest of the stairs and into the art room. Legolas held his breath, for fear that what he was breathing was actually poison. They jumped out the window (after checking to make sure no one was watching) and made for the CIA van again. The guard, who happened to be the one from before, eyed at them, and Shawn fought the urge to kill himself for what he had to do.

"Legolas, please don't kill me..." As they walked by, Shawn put his arm around the Elf's waste, and the guard turned around again. _Props to the people who can't watch two guys together! They are useful for something!_ Legolas, however, was slowly reaching for his Elven Blades of Doom, seeking revenge for once again "putting da moves" on him.

Unfortunately, yet again, Shawn had an ill fate. "I KNEW IT!" Shawn turned around quickly and saw Jared running up to him, camera in hand. "Now I have proof of your true colors!"

Shawn wanted to die. Of course, he could get into the school without anyone noticing, but getting out, he had to run into people who could potentially ruin the whole plan. _What the hell and I going to do?!? As Jared waited for Shawn to come up with some kind of explanation (or who he was groping), a few cars started to drive up towards the field._

_YES! We're standing in the middle of the road!_ The cars began to honk at the people who decided to have a conversation where they could be run over. Instead, the semi-decent drivers decided that cursing and honking would make them move—which it did. While Jared was forced to one side of the road, Shawn and Legolas were to the opposite. Without a second thought, Shawn took Legolas' arm and darted down the path that led to the primary school.

"Shawn!" he head Jared call his name in vain. _Oh line of cars, run over his feet and make it so he cannot walk! They continued running all the way to Shawn's house, with a bewildered Elf wanting an explanation for why *twice* he had gotten close to him. Chloe opened the door, and happened to hear Legolas yelling at Shawn,_

Why were you putting your arms around my waist?!? Why was that guy giving us strange looks?!? And why did that guy who we were supposed to avoid start running after you?? Chloe ran up and slapped Shawn.

"HOW DARE YOU TURN THIS INTO SLASH!" Shawn lay on the grass dazed as Chloe led Legolas inside the house, giving comforting advice. _No matter what, I will never understand the workings of Chloe's mind…_

~*~

A tall man clad in all black walked down the path away from the football field. What he found there led him to believe that his prey was somewhere in the vicinity. He also thought he had seen someone running that way as well.

"El!" The black haired man turned around and stared at the short teenager.

"Yes?"

Ron smirked. "They went that way. And make sure you don't kill him."

~*~

What's this? Legolas asked Chloe as she handed him a colorful box.

It's so you can learn English! You know, since you'll be staying with Shawn for a while until we figure out how to get you home! And that way I won't be forced to be a translator, no matter how much I love hearing you speak!

It was Saturday morning and Chloe was still there. She had called her mom, telling her that she was sleeping over Nina's. Shawn's dad wasn't home for some reason. Shawn had reason to believe he had stayed out all night drinking. Shawn already had a nice cover up story to tell his dad. "Why is this guy here?" his father would ask. "Because he's an exchange student, and I signed up for the program at the beginning of the year!" His dad would be too much in a drunken stupor to understand what was going on, so it would be alright for Legolas to stay for a while. Having Chloe stay for extended periods of time, however, was another matter.

All night long, she tried to sneak into Shawn bedroom, since Shawn had politely given up his room to the Elf and slept on the couch (Chloe got the spare room). Shawn would see her sneaking down the hallway, throw a pillow at her, watch her giggle and run back to her own room, get up to get his pillow, almost fall asleep, then the cycle would start over again. Due to this, Shawn didn't get a good amount of sleep, and he expected that Chloe would look the same as he did with the sags under his eyes. But no such luck came to our hero. _Why is it that girls can look decent all the time? Maybe it's because there's an Elf present?_

Shawn took a look at the box that Chloe had handed to Legolas. _English for Dummies.__ That's not too degrading. _"You're expecting him to first learn how to use a computer, second, learn the hardest language on Earth, and third, do all this in time for Monday?" Chloe shook her head very quick. "You're a dork."

"At least I'm trying to help!!" she yelled back at him. "I'm not going to be around here for the whole weekend. And don't think that I'm going to keep that nasty walkie talkie with me at all times so I can translate for you."

"Le-go-lass?" The tiny blond haired girl walked up to the Elf who was sitting on the couch.

"Mae, pen-neth?" (Yes, young one?)

She tugged at his pant legs and Legolas put her in his lap. As Chloe and Shawn argued, for who knows how many times, Megan started to braid some of Legolas' hair. As long as she didn't tug at it, Legolas didn't mind the seven year old. It reminded him of Mirkwood and his niece over there…

Shawn let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine! Teach the Elf to not only learn how to use a computer, but how about a whole language as well! I sometimes wonder about the way your brain works…" Receiving the official okay from Shawn, Chloe jumped around very excited and grabbed Legolas. He, Megan, and Chloe sat down in front of the computer while Chloe uploaded the disk and tried to explain to Legolas what they were doing in very little words.

Since I can't be around all the time, you have to learn English! Plus, we have no idea how to get you home, so learning our language would be an added bonus to your stay. She draped her arm around his shoulder.

Why is it that I have to learn your language? Why cannot Shawn learn Sindarin? He carefully lifted her arm away from his body.

Because Shawn is a sped and he can't do anything right.

What's a sped??

"Oh boy." Shawn took a chair and sat a little ways away from the little learning group. Now the tv was one thing. Legolas had thought that was great. But this, this was interactive! Not that he really understood what was going on, but he got the gist of it: move the "mouse" on the pad and the little arrow would move on the screen. If he hit the button over the area that said "hear," he would hear an English word and see a picture of what it meant. Not a very easy way of learning, but progress was progress. At the end of two hours, Legolas learned what a car was (he was still scared of the busses) and what a school was. Shawn had Chloe explain to Legolas that school was where kids were brought as some cruel and unusual punishment for childhood crimes that could not be tolerated. Legolas didn't know if this was a joke or not, and so just laughed anyway.

By the end of the day, as Chloe suspected, Legolas did learn a great deal. He was a fast learner (he was an Elf, even though that would have nothing to do with how fast he learns, Chloe just needed something to justify why her star pupil was so smart). In celebration for Legolas' achievement for his first sentence: See that Chloe run naked down the street (Shawn made him say naked), Chloe searched around Shawn's house until she found her treasure.

"TADA! Now we must watch this." She was holding the Fellowship of the Ring dvd in her hands. Legolas hardly understood a word she said, but did catch the words "fellowship" and "ring." He seemed completely interested.  Shawn grabbed Chloe by the arm and pulled her aside.

"Are you sure? I mean, what would Legolas do if he saw this? We can't just let him see what happens in the future, or anything like that!"

"Don't worry! Weren't you paying attention at all during this?! Legolas said he was about to rescue Merry and Pippin. So that means he's in the Two Towers, which I have at my house."

"Where'd you get that? It's not out yet."

"Ya, New York is great. The bootleg is alright, the timing of the voices sucks. But forget that! Think of it this way: it already happened, so it's not like Legolas will be seeing into the future! He'll just be seeing into the past. Anyway, the first hour and a half is all about Frodo (who cares about that gay little hobbit!). OH my sweet Scottish Pippin! How I love you so!!"

"I thought you liked Elves…"

"I do. But the guy who plays Pippin is sooo Scottish…

_What's that?_ This, my friend, is a pint! _They come in pints?_ Mhhm. _I'm getting one!_ But you've had half already!

God, gotta love those pints! Do you have a pint? I'm gonna make some popcorn."

With that, Chloe shoved the movie into Shawn's hands and skipped off while speaking in a Scottish accent about pints. Shawn sighed defeated and popped the dvd into the player. Legolas was sitting with Megan in his lap, once again. Megan was playing with his hair, and Legolas didn't seem to mind. Shawn sat down next to Legolas and Chloe came jumping in with a bowl of popcorn and a pint of soda.

"What is this?" asked Legolas, now knowing a little bit on English.

This, my friend, is a pint!! Chloe declared to Legolas, who looked bedazzled. _Good God, she's drunk. Wait, nope, she's just Chloe,_ Shawn thought as he pushed play on the control. He turned off the lights as the violins played the haunting melody of the one ring…

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews**

Josh: ya, I can't see your review right now, but I'm talking to you at the same time, so whatever. Fear the devil! Tell him to keep his clothes on! Lol, and how do you know it's a guy?? Hmm, some food for thought ^_~ ttyl, want to post this

tamara: ^_^ im funny! I should be a stand up comedian! Wait no, I'm not *that* funny! ^_____^

Dreamstrifer: THE EASTER BUNNY! I'm afraid that's wrong… close…k, well, not really! Heh, "knob be gone", if anyone knows English lingo, they'd laugh at that as I am now ::mwahahahaha, good one! Lol:: ^_^ glad you liked the last chapter, hope you liked this one too! ^_~


	7. The Movie and the Man

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter VII: The Movie and the Man

"The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it." Legolas perked up. Was the Galadriel's voice? It couldn't be, unless she was trying to reach Legolas. But he hardly understood half of what she was saying. Nonetheless, it was Galadriel's voice.

Shawn saw the look in Legolas' eyes. He pondered about what was going on in the Elf's mind. _I wonder what he'll think when he sees Frodo and Aragorn…and himself!_ Shawn was a little nervous. If he had been sent to another world in which his life was a book and/or movie, he would freak. Legolas was doing pretty well, so far. That is, until Frodo appeared.

"FRODO!" Megan jumped at the sudden outburst and fell from Legolas' lap. Chloe was startled and took a deep breath. He was rather loud…Legolas frantically turned toward the pink haired girl.

What is this?! How is it that I can see Frodo?! I thought he left with Sam from Amon Hen to go to Mordor! What kind of magic is this?!?

First of all, calm down, Leggy-babe. Remember how we told you in our world, you're fictional? And you know how we told you that your adventure with the Ring was written down in books? Well, the people in out world made a movie of it—and a movie is something way too complex for you to understand, so let's just say it's like one of those lost seeing stones that Saruman used in Isengard.

But how is it that you know of our quest? Chloe looked back at Shawn, who had no idea what was going on, and had paused the dvd as Gandalf lit up some fireworks. She didn't know how to answer that one.

I don't know. There was no way to explain it. No answer would satisfy the Elf. She advised him to keep watching. At least that way he could see what people of this world knew about his. She even hinted at the fact that Legolas would be in it. Bedazzled, but otherwise quiet, he sat back down wit Chloe and Shawn. Megan climbed back on his lap as Shawn clicked pause. The movie began again.

Shawn was waiting for Legolas to do…something! But he just sat there, entranced by the glowing screen. A good half hour went by before Shawn noticed that Megan had fallen asleep in his lap. She had taken a liking to him. And all he told her was to not make fun of him because he dressed up like an Elf. What would she think if she knew Legolas was real?

"Ai Elbereth!" Legolas gasped. "Aragorn!"

Like I said, we know all. Does he really look like that?

It is his exact likeness.

Gandalf, Frodo, Aragorn, Merry…Pippin…The sudden thought of the young hobbits made Legolas sigh inwardly. He had to rescue them still. Aragorn and Gimli were still out there. Aragorn would not get far with the likes of Gimli, the Dwarf. He chuckled silently. He and the Dwarf had been becoming friends as time passed. The thought that Legolas may never see them again crossed his mind. Then what would he do? He couldn't possibly stay with these humans forever. Maybe he would leave them, search for a way back home that wouldn't potentially put any of his new friends at risk.

He looked down at Megan, fast asleep in his lap. She was curled up in a little ball. How long could he deceive her? From what he gathered, she didn't know that he was from another world. It would break her heart to see him leave, but he would do what he thought best for these humans, and for himself.

A hand grabbed his shirt and jerked him out of his thought. Legolas, you're coming up!

A horse quickly entered on the screen. The rider's long blond hair swayed as he quickly dismounted in a fluid motion. Looking up into the sky, his blue eyes reflected the light of the sun, making him all the more drop dead gorgeous. Legolas, son of Thranduil, almost had a heart attack. It was him!! That Elf on the screen was _him!! He didn't dare ask Chloe how he got into the supposed "lost looking stone," but he was at a loss of words. His mouth had dropped open long ago, and was still hanging there. He felt someone lift his chin up._

Don't drool, Leggy-babe. I know that you're hot, but I don't think that you should be checking out yourself…That's just wrong!

I WAS NOT "CHECKING" MYSELF OUT!! He yelled back at Chloe. No matter what kind of situation they were in, Chloe seemed to make light of the situation. He glared at her. She shrugged her shoulders.

Just trying to make things bearable through humor.

Nothing will make this bearable, Legolas muttered underneath his breath. He watched himself throughout the movie. He saw himself speak Sindarin to Aragorn, which would explain why some humans knew how to speak it (::cough:: Chloe ::cough::). Legolas didn't know how to react. Watching himself in the past, it was just too much for him. He watched as the Fellowship journeyed over mountains and through fields.

"We must hold to this course west of the Misty Mountains for forty days. If our luck holds, the Gap of Rohan will still be open to us, and from there our road turns east toward Mordor."

The Crebain from Dunland, the mountains of Caradhras, the Mines of Moria. The memories of these places flooded back into Legolas' mind. But the worst was yet to come. As he sat there, engrossed in the movie, he did not realize that it was in the Mines of Moria that Gandalf fell…until he saw the Balrog.

"Gandalf," he heard himself say unconsciously. The bridge of Khazad-Dum. There stood Gandalf in the middle of the bridge.

"I am a servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of Anor! Dark fire shall not avail you, flame of Udun." The Balrog took a step forward and drew a sword. He swiped it at Gandalf. "Go back to the shadow! You shall not pass!" Gandalf slammed his staff into the ground. A white light drove the Balrog back. It brandished a whip before taking another step forward. The bridge collapses and the Balrog falls into the chasm. As Gandalf assumed the fight was over, the whip caught his ankle and pulled him onto the edge. "Run! You fools!"

It was too much for Legolas. He could not relive the pain. As he frantically stood up, Megan fell from his lap. Shawn and Chloe both turned around and saw Legolas running out the front door. Megan started crying, and Chloe took it upon herself to comfort the little girl as Shawn ran after Legolas.

_What was I thinking?! _Shawn mentally hit himself. _Why did we show that to him?! _He looked around and saw nothing but woods and a couple of houses. He could be anywhere. And who knew if those CIA people were still lurking about. And now that would be nice. He and Chloe scare an Elf into his doom. He even left his knives behind! _Why? Why? Why? WHY?!?_ Shawn couldn't forgive himself.

He stopped in the middle of the road before realizing that he wouldn't be able to find the Elf. Not only because Legolas wouldn't want to be found, but also because he *was* an Elf. He sighed and headed back to the house. Legolas would have to work this out himself. They would still be there if he returned, which he hoped he would. He saw Chloe standing in the doorway with a worried look on her face. She was holding Megan on her hip, who had a very scared look on her face. Shawn was about to say something when a hand above Chloe's head opened the door even further.

Someone else was inside Shawn's house…

~*~

Legolas sat in a tree somewhere in the woods beyond Shawn's house. A small tear flowed down his cheek and clung to his chin. He didn't bother to wipe it away. Bringing his legs into his chest, he buried his head in them. Why? How? These people knew so much about him and his world. They saw everything, more than even Legolas had seen. When Gandalf had fallen before, Legolas had hardly time to react to it at first. But reliving it! He was stunned, shocked, furious, miserable…how could these people know!!

Do not worry so. Legolas looked up quickly and scanned the area. Below the tree he sat in was a man. He was wearing tight black pants and a black tattered shirt. Silver necklaces were strewn about his neck. He looked up at Legolas. Whatever pain they have caused you, I have come to purge. A pair of dark blue eyes stared at Legolas' shimmering sapphire ones. His ruffled black hair gave Legolas the faint impression of Aragorn, but this human was much too young. Nevertheless, he sensed something in this man. Something forthcoming…but mysterious.

Who are you?

He looked back surprised. Me? If any question should be asked, it should be why are you so distressed.

Legolas turned away from the man. You would not understand, mortal. Leave me be. He replied lowly.

Oh, but I cannot do that. Legolas gave him a confused look. You see, a Mirkwood Elf should not be stranded in a world where he does not belong. And besides, you have other important matters to attend to. Might Merry and Pippin be in need of your help?

How did he know? Legolas figured that everyone in the world knew about his adventure, but how did this human know that he was in search of the hobbits at the moment he was transported here? The man saw Legolas' perplexed expression and just smirked.

Will Legolas come out to play?

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews:**

tamara: ^_^ I love it too! See look! I updated!!

Lindorie Aluthiel: Anyone who disagrees that Legolas is in fact the hottest thing that walked the earth, well then. They'll have to answer to the Elven Blades of Doom © Kayo, Inc. ^_^ Wait, what was funny? Shawn "hitting on" Legolas? Or wait, how about the whole fic! Heehee, yes, legolashater, who is this person to judge other's hotness levels…

Josh: Okay, so this is not new, but I promise, next chapter will be! Actually, you don't even need to read this one, since you already have. Just leave a review encouraging me to get off my lazy ass and write! ^_~ Hey Josh, I'm going to write a slash with you in it! MWAHAHAHAHA

Dreamstrifer: hehe, everyone likes to pretend they're gay with Legolas. It's just the cool thing to do. ^_^ OoO! You caught the reference to Legolas' niece! I think you're the only one! I can still make people laugh. It gives me that warm fuzzy feeling inside, lol. ::off to write more chapters for when you get back!::


	8. Oh Snap!

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter VIII: Oh Snap!

The door opened wider to reveal a short teenager with blazing crimson hair. Ron Dorslau. What was he doing in Shawn's house? The glint in his eye only ignited fear in Shawn. He had another reason to be afraid as well. Ron had Legolas' knives and was holding them at Chloe's back. Shawn immediately stepped back from the door, feeling the need to flat out run away right then and there. Ron's voice, however, stopped this urge.

"You even try to run away, and Chloe and your little sister will be severed in half." Shawn felt his heart starting to beat faster. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. What was he going to do? This psycho was threatening the people he cared about. Licking his lips, he tried to say something, but nothing would come out.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I'm at your house, but shouldn't we take this inside, away from prying eyes?"

_How about no, prying eyes are good. Prying eyes call the police when they see girls being held hostage by knifes…_ Shawn nodded his head nonetheless and walked into his house, slowly passing by Chloe and Megan with a sympathetic look. Megan had tears flowing down her cheeks, and Chloe was too scared to move or react to anything. Absent mindedly, Shawn thought, _there is a way to shut Chloe up. Note the use of sharp objects. _This thought was immediately dismissed when the two girls were thrown at him.

They landed on the floor with a thud as Ron pointed the Elven Blades of Doom directly at them. Megan clung to Shawn's shirt as Ron kicked the door closed with his foot. Eyeing his hostages, he made sure none of them were going to play some sort of cheap hero-act. Finally he spoke.

"I find it amusing how in Middle School, you and Jared would beat me up almost everyday and throw rocks at me. Now that I'm in control, you seem to be the one cringing in fear…How does it feel, Shawn? How does it feel to not be able to control a situation; one where you're going to be hurt? Not fun, is it, Shawn?" He laughed. Shawn deduced Ron had possibly gone insane. "No, I haven't gone insane. I can tell by that look in your eye that you thought that, right? Oh no no no, it is not I that has done anything wrong, it is you!"

_Done anything wrong?? Holding people hostage can be considered doing something wrong. Or making a little girl cry, that's a no-no. Or how about contemplating how to skewer three people using two knives…DEFINITELY NOT GOOD! Oh wait, I did something wrong?_ Shawn could only guess what Ron meant by this. What had he done wrong? Well, if you counted the whole incident in Middle School where me and Jared terrorized him. But that was years ago! He wouldn't hold a grudge…would he?

While Shawn's whole battle of conscience went on, Ron had decided to let Shawn ponder what exactly he had done. Taking a seat on the couch, he relaxed a bit and turned on the tv. "El should be here soon, with a present for me. Hopefully then, Shawn, you'll realize your wrongdoing…"

{to the meow mix tune} _Vague vague vague vague…_

~*~

What exactly do you mean? Legolas had long since jumped down from his perch, and was demanding an explanation by the man in black. 

The man in black stepped closer to Legolas. You must know, you weren't sent here just for fun. There were ulterior motives with sending you out of Middle Earth. Or didn't you know? Legolas was confused. What did he mean by this? He was taken out of his world for a reason? By who? What did this man know that he didn't??

Tell me! What am I doing here, if you know so much. The man in black started circling around the Elf. A hand hidden behind him, he replied with a smirk,

I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise now, would I? Before Legolas had time to react, the man in black pulled out what seemed to be a small black box. The next thing he knew, Legolas was lying on the ground, moaning in pain. Waves of heat coursed through his body, his breath came in quick pants, and the world seemed to spin in front of his eyes.

"Tua…" (Help) Legolas moaned before unconsciousness enveloped him. The man in black walked around the unmoving Elf, making sure his prey was completely out cold. Resolving that the Elf was indeed unconscious, the man in black took out a silver cell phone and pressed speed dial.

~*~

Ron almost jumped off the couch when the phone rang. That wasn't expected. El was only supposed to call him when the mission was complete. How did he even know Shawn's number? Shrugging it off, he jumped off the couch, keeping one of the blades of doom at his side. Shawn and company were still sitting backed up against a wall, away from the door, but near the bathroom. Not like they were going to try anything stupid. Ron soon learned that Shawn didn't have caller ID, but answered it anyway. Maybe it was El calling about the mission.

"Hello?" An ear-piercing girl started to yell into the phone, so loud that even Shawn and Chloe could hear.

"YOU'RE GAY?!? SHAWN MICHAEL STAR! HOW DARE YOU DATE ME AND NOT ENLIGHTEN ME OF THIS! I HATE YOU! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?"

Shawn's face went pale…_Nina_…Jared must have shown Nina the playback of him and Legolas walking together…arm-in-arm…He mentally kicked himself. _From this day forward, never again will I touch a guy! Ron looked at Shawn quizzically, almost at the verge of laughing. His nemesis, liking the boys? The thought made Ron laugh. As the raging girl on the other end continued to rant, Ron interrupted in an even louder voice,_

"While this information is quite intriguing, Shawn is otherwise occupied right now…with several men to boot. Sorry bout that hunny, but he has previous appointments. Now if you don't mind, shut the hell up and get over yourself!!!" The distinct click meant the conversation was over.

Shawn looked at Ron with total fear. What the hell just happened? Why did he tell Nina he was with several guys?!? Anger boiled in him. Who the hell did he think he was?!? Nina was *his* girlfriend, and the one to tell her whether he was gay or not should've been *him*, not his kidnapper!! Jumping to his feet, he stomped over to where Ron had hung up the phone.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" He said, pushing Ron backwards, which in itself, wasn't a good idea.

Ron pulled the knife forward from his belt and flashed it at Shawn. "Who do you think *you* are?" Waving the knife at Shawn's face, he began again. "I don't think you're the one in control here. Or do you actually have a sword hidden in those pants of yours? Hmm? I don't think so. So shut up and sit down."

_Sit down…or run to kitchen and grab a knife and duel like in the movies…Sit down…or duel…_Shawn couldn't make up his mind, and Ron was becoming inpatient. Just as he was about to gut the poor hero of our story, the phone rang again. "What?!"

"Sorry to disturb you, but I thought you should know, I'll be at Star's house, with Legolas of course." Ron sighed and let his guard down for a second.

"Finally! Just make sure no one sees the body."

_Body?_ What did Ron mean by that? Who's body? Who was on the phone? And damn his lack of caller ID. Noticing that Ron's knife had loosened from his hand, Shawn made a mad dash to the couch, where the twin knife lay dormant.

Ron saw Shawn's movements on a second too late. Soon, they were both pointing a knife at each other. Shawn had never picked up any kind of big sharp metal object before, and his hand was shaking from not only the weight, but from the nervousness he was experiencing. If he was actually going to try to fight this guy, with a knife no less, he was going to die a very painful death.

"Oh and look, you've decided to play the hero again." _Again?__ What does that mean? "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this act won't live long…and neither will you!" Ron rushed forward, blade pointed at Shawn's head. Shawn tried to dodge to the side, receiving a knick from the tip of Ron's blade on his temple. He landed on the coffee table and stood up as quickly as he could. Ron was already preparing for the next attack._

Shawn swung his knife down as Ron's was thrust forward towards his abdomen. The knives were pinned under the boy's weight, and they were locked in a staring contest on top of the coffee table. Shawn's heart was beating way too fast, as adrenaline was pumped into his veins. _Must end this as fast as I can…if I can! With a sudden burst of energy, Ron threw his knife up and they were both thrown backwards._

No longer battling on the table, they circled around it, trying to figure out each other's weak points. All in all, Shawn was in himself a weak point. He didn't know how to parry, how to defend, how to make the clingy noise with the sword…He might as well have been a lifeless dummy standing there while others poked him with sticks or used him as a crash test dummy.

Megan and Chloe were trying to stay out of the way, and succeeding in the sense no one was paying attention to them…which gave Chloe an idea. As Ron and Shawn continued to circle each other, she waited for Ron's back to be turned and silently crept towards the bathroom and opened the door. She and Megan crawled through and closed it just as Ron was looking back their way, though the fight was at the front of his mind at the moment.

Chloe started lifting up the window and thanking god that they were on the first floor of the house. As the screen went up, Megan went out. The drop wasn't that bad, considering that it was into a bush, and Chloe was soon to follow. Maybe their escape could lead to helping Shawn. She took Megan's hand and ran to her house, conveniently down the street. "Hang in there Shawn," whispered Chloe to herself. Maybe she would find Legolas on her way.

A man holding the body of a blond-haired Elf answered her prayers, in a way. Sure she had found Legolas, but the guy holding him didn't look too friendly, especially in the way he was now pointing a gun at them…

"Oh snap…"

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews:**

namarie2legolas: oh wow, I opened my email and saw like 6 new emails and they were all from you! ^_^ Made me soo happy that I decided to write a chapter today! Thank you so much!! In a way I'm using Sindarin. If I can't find the word, I use Quenya, and the tenses and grammar are all off. So let's just say, it's Kayo-Sindarin, lol. And pepperoni pizza? How do you get pepperoni pizza out of this? I don't think I'll even know, lol. Thanks a bunch for inspiring me to get off my lazy ass!!

Dreastrifer: Yay! I saw you updated, but of course, I didn't get to read it for several days cos ff.net was down. Damn Fluffy and Morris. And if you had stolen the toilet paper from the Phoenix airport, we could've used it to tie Legolas to a tree in your backyard. "If you don't use the cranberry soap, you are tied to the tree for the night!!" ^-^' I need to work on my sense of humor…And more Megan cuteness to come (though she didn't have a part this chapter really)

Blume: O_o well now, that was more information than I needed. Nearly fell out of my chair on that one, lol. But uh, ya, Shawn didn't know that, and now he's going to be going to your house right now as Nina slaps him and gives him the whole you don't love me speech while he tries desperately to tell her that he does he just wants more options, and ya, I'm taking this out of proportion! Thanks for the review!

Josh: look! A brand new chapter! One that doesn't have a single thing to do with the original! Aren't you proud?! Hey, how about we go see Pirates of the Caribbean, lol, SEPARATE! Ahh, Jack Sparrow. So much better at the sword than Orlando, no matter what you say! And you know who the man in black is you goober.

Erikalya Arvanesse: Hmm…it would be very strange if Pippin showed up, but if he did, then there would be questions to where Merry is (since they're conjoined at the hip) and then the world might explode from an over limit of Tolkien characters in it! AHH! Lol, and yes, I should write more…

tamara: heehee, well, you don't really know who's talking to Legolas, YET. Those who read the original version of this know, cos I love him with all my heart, even though he's kinda evil. But ya, you'll find out probably next chapter. More insanity to come!

And there you have it. And of course, just as I'm about to finish, ff.net goes on the fritz. DAMN YOU FLUFFY! The MEGs strike again. (inside jokes) Anyway, off to write another fanfic totally unrelated to this! lol, and I know what you're all saying, you haven't finished this one yet! But I have like 5 fics on my comp that I just start and don't end. But rest assured, I _will_ end this! Review and I update quicker! 3 3 3


	9. Rescue Heroes – They Always Save the Daa...

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter IX: Rescue Heroes – They Always Save the Daaaaay!

_Trip on the rug…damnit! Trip on the coffee table…damnit! Trip on the rug…Damnit!_ Ron and Shawn continued circling the god forsaken table as they treaded off and on the rug. Shawn wished that somehow Ron would fall to the ground and he would be able to stab him or something like that, but to no such luck did this happen. Left to the merciless crazy red-headed freak boy, Shawn decided he better make the first move to end this…endless…battle.

"DIE!!!" Shouted Shawn, making sure his war cry was heard to all those who lived in a 50 yard radius (which was about two houses, in which no one was home). His knife slashed through the air, heading towards Ron's chest. Hopefully, his non-existent skills at swordplay would help him.

Ron saw the reckless attack coming the moment Shawn broke the circling pattern. He angled his blade to absorb the blow, and twisting the knife, forced Shawn's to be thrown from his hand, over towards the tv. Shawn was hurled backwards and toppled over the coffee table. Landing against the wall where Chloe and Megan had been, he tried to ignore the searing pain coursing through his body. Unblinking eyes settled upon him as he attempted to stand up. Metal to his throat denied that path.

"Checkmate…"

_Quick painless death…quick painless death…ringing phone?_ To Shawn and Ron's surprise, the phone, indeed, was ringing. Ron glanced over his shoulder, cursing the bad timing. He hoped it wasn't El saying Legolas got away. If that was the case, he'd be cutting off that assassin's balls.

Right when Ron looked over his shoulder, Shawn made his move. He threw himself at Ron, knocking both of them over onto the hard wood floor. Ron's head made a loud crack when it connected with the ground. Shawn's elbows and knees had also hit hard, no doubt bruising the bone. He ignored the pain, however, and focused on taking the knife out of Ron's hand. Ron wasn't quite as dazed as Shawn hoped. He squirmed under Shawn's weight, trying to throw the body off him. Shawn grabbed Ron's wrist, trying to force the knife out of his hand. And to Shawn's greatest surprise, Ron dropped the knife (lack of blood circulation).

Not wanting his only means of protection in the hands of his prisoner, Ron smacked the hilt of the knife and it went sprawling off under the couch. Ron and Shawn looked at each other, then back at the knife that was currently laying near the tv, and coincidentally, the phone, which was still ringing. Shawn jumped off Ron and kneed him in the stomach at the same time. Ron followed Shawn only a second later, both desperately grabbing the air for the ever elusive blade of doom. It would've taken too long for one of them to retrieve the knife under the couch, seeing as how they would have to get down on their knees, start reaching around, hopefully not get pricked by the damn weapon, all the while the other person easily grabbing the other knife.

Shawn grabbed the knife off the floor, Ron's hand grabbing slightly lower on the hilt. They began to tug at it, kicking and using their other hands to grab each other's wrists. Whoever was stronger, or had the better grip, would be the victor of this fight. Sweat glistened off the boys' foreheads as the raging battle continued. _And the freaking phone continues to ring…or not!_

On Shawn's answering machine, Megan began to sing:

"Believe it or not, we aren't at home.

So leave a message after the tone.

We're probably out, or next to the phone.

Where…could…we be?"

_Buzz…_

"Shawn Michael Star, you answer this phone or I'm going to come over there and kick your gay lover's ass!! Shawn? Shawn!? Don't you think I won't come over there! Pick up this phone NOW!" _Great, more wrath de Nina.__ Then the voice changed to that of a guy's._

"Shawn, I hate to do this buddy, but Nina's right. Pick up the phone, or you're going to lose your girlfriend…" _As if I haven't already! Bastard Jared! Stay away from my girlfriend! Oops!! Lack of concentration on the knife and more on what Nina and Jared were saying had let Ron take advantage of the situation…and that was not good for Shawn. Ron was now in possession of the knife._

"C'mon Shawn, even if you're not gay, you and Nina need to patch things up. I'm here to help, buddy."…pause for changing of the phone…"Shawn!!" Now Nina was crying. "Why…why…" And the rest was cut off. Shawn had been staring at the answering machine, and Ron had cut the line off the wall.

"I'm sorry about that. But I couldn't take any more of this soap opera bull shit. Now please be a good little hero and sit back down with Chloe and your sister." They both looked around the room, noticing for the first time in…well, the fight only lasted about ten minutes, so they hadn't noticed their escape for about five. While Shawn was relieved that Chloe and Megan had managed an unbelievable escape, Ron looked as if he was going to take the knife, kill Shawn, then using Shawn's blood, write hateful messages on the wall, while cutting up his body into tiny pieces, feeding them to several kinds of animals, and then moving to a new state where no one knew him. The perfect plan.

"Maybe you're not as good a captor as you thought you were," said Shawn smirking. He knew perfectly well that ticking Ron off at this time probably wasn't the best thing to do, but he couldn't help himself. He had to point out everyone's stupidity, it was in his genes. Ron glared at him, pointing the blade of doom at his throat once again. _Somehow, I think that every fight I'm ever in with this guy will end with me having sharp pointy objects threatening my throat…_

Ron drew the knife back, getting ready to thrust it forward, ending Shawn's life, when a large bang interrupted them. "If that's the fucking phone…" Said Ron, who apparently forgot that he had demolished Shawn's phone line…_Idiot…_The door was suddenly thrown open, and four figures came inside.

"Megan! Chloe!" Shouted Shawn, glad to see them alive, yet again prisoners, but alive nonetheless. Then he saw the man in black holding Legolas over his shoulder. "Legolas?" What? How? No way! Some guy had fought Legolas and won! That was unexpected. Even though Shawn had never read the books, he had seen the first two movies, and Legolas was never overcome (other than when all the goblins in Moria had them surrounded, but then ran off when the Balrog appeared, so that instance didn't count).

"El! Finally, you've come back, and with presents I see!" Megan and Chloe hurried over to Shawn, who was once again sitting on the ground. "And look, our dearly departed Legolas has joined us! It only took what, less than two days?" Unconsciously, Shawn remembered it was still Saturday. "Well now, I think a celebration is in order. Tie up these pathetic humans and tie the Elf to something sturdy. Maybe the coffee table…"

_Pathetic humans…why didn't he just say people? What's he hiding? And whoa there, hold up! They were searching for Legolas!? How did they know he was here?? Unless…_

"You're the ones who brought Legolas here, weren't you?!?" Shawn yelled accusingly as the 'El' man bound his wrists behind his back, along with his ankles. Chloe gasped, realizing what his answer could potentially mean. Megan clung to Chloe when El approached her, giving him puppy dog eyes with a little tear streaming down her face. Too bad there was not one ounce of kindness in El, because Megan was tied up with the rest of them. El went to work binding Legolas to the coffee table, the Elf slightly groaning against the cold surface. Finally, Ron answered,

"Of course we were the ones who brought Legolas here. I could've had Legolas yesterday, but El and I were separated on our journey here. And in this form, I couldn't take down the Elf. And I couldn't exactly go gallivant around as who I really am, and I'm glad that I didn't. You, the sorry excuse for a hero, happened to find Legolas before me. And after I saw you two together, I knew if I stayed in this pathetic body that eventually El would find me and I could risk another encounter with you without exposing anything. Brilliant, no?"

Shawn was a little confused. Ron wasn't who he really was? Pathetic body? Did that mean there was something inhabiting Ron's body? _That would make a bit more sense…I don't think the real Ron would be such a good swordsman or a swift talker. _"So then who are you really?" Shawn asked nervously, wanting to know, but a little afraid of who it could possibly be.

"You wouldn't want me to give away the surprise now, would you?" _Actually I would seeing as how you're holding me and everyone hostage._ "Well, you'll find out sooner or later. And while we wait for our beloved Elf to wake up, I think I should introduce my right hand man," Shawn instantly thought of Austin Powers, _Number Two..."Elidh-Feredir."_

"A whatey whoey?" Shawn asked. He though El was short for Elijah or something like that, but apparently not. Only Chloe's reaction to the name alerted Shawn that there was more behind the name than just sounding weird. "Chloe…why are you freaking out?"

She turned to Shawn, complete fear in her eyes. "His name is in Sindarin…It means Elf Hunter." Shawn froze. Elf Hunter??? That was not a good thing. But now he could understand how El was able to overtake Legolas. He still didn't like it, but at least he knew the true identity of one of his enemies.

Legolas groaned again, catching everyone's attention, they looked over at the coffee table, Ron walking closer and closer to it. While Shawn and Chloe were talking, he had retrieved the other blade of doom, and now had the twin knives by his side.

Legolas' eyes fluttered open, and he immediately regretted ever deciding to do so. He was strapped down to a table on his back, the boy he had seen at the school was staring at him, with a very evil look in his eye…he sensed the man in black close by, along with Shawn, Chloe, and Megan. He looked around the room before panic finally set in. How was he going to get out of this mess?

What do you want with me? He tried to say calmly. Leave these humans out of it! He struggled against the bonds that held him down. He cursed the fact he was in this kind of situation, at the total mercy of his captor.

Hush now, little Elfling. The time for such demands will come later on, after we decide what to do with you first. How about it? But tell me, where has the ring-bearer gone?

Legolas kept his mouth shut. Something about this human wasn't right. He didn't seem human at all. He didn't seem from this world in fact…

So you refuse to speak? That's alright. I can have fun torturing your friends over here, or perhaps you! He took out the blades and put them at the Elf's throat. _This guy has a fetish for throats…Legolas didn't even flinch. Ron was becoming a bit angry with the reactions he was receiving from the impotent Elf. Just as he was about to cause some kind of permanent damage to the Elf, the door was flung open by the most unlikely of all people._

"SHAWN STAR!! If you think you can ignore me and think you can get away with it, you think wrong! I'm going to cut off the penis of your lover!! No one ever crosses Nina Albright and gets away…with…it…" A very angry Nina and a nervous Jared stood at the door, taking in the scene before them. Shawn, Chloe, and Megan tied up, being guarded by some guy in all black, and a red headed kid pointing short swords at a blond haired man tied to a table.

"Um…I can come back at a better time…" Nina backed away from the Star household.

Ron sighed and rubbed his temples. "Tie them up too Elidh."

Jared stepped forward, protecting Nina, and taking something out from inside his shirt. "I don't think so…"

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews:**

Odd-I-See: Yay! You're back! And yes, I know this took a long time to repost, but I was hoping that people would find it again and I could possibly reach 100 reviews, lol, but I doubt it will happen. But I'm glad you found it. The new villain's identity will be revealed next chapter. Hopefully you guys will like it!

Blume: Hmm…I think running into cosplay Legolas' makes my day! ^_^ Everyone love Lance from Ohio! ::hugs:: Ya, I don't know him, but he went as Legolas to the ani con, and I love him, and he thought my hair was cute! ^____^ So you're going to do the hankey with Shawn? Nina had some things to say about that, but Jared got to her first, lol. It's funny how people are either coming from Dreamstrifer and reading this fic or read this fic and go to Dreamstrifer. I find it amusing, and I owe her another mentioning in my fic I think, lol.

namarie2legolas: Well, now you know the man in black's true identity, and it wasn't Legolas' alter ego. And anyway, how could his alter ego look like Aragorn? Lol, (btw, in the original fic of this, the evil person _was Orlando Bloom, then I got in trouble cos I killed him, and it just went downhill from there). Will Turner is hot, but Jack Sparrow is better. And coffee sucks! :P_

Lily of the Shadow: ^_^ Another original reviewer to come back to me! Lol, I feel loved again! And this is better than the original? Hm…in some ways I guess. But I wish I could've kept with my original plot. How sad…Thanks for the review!

Miw-sher: Look! I'm continuing! I _will get this done by the end of summer vacation…or maybe July if I try hard enough._

tamara: Ya…Ron's just a tad off the deep end. But he has his reasons, those of which you saw this chapter, and those of which will be revealed next chapter.

Nina: !! A Nina! Hello Nina! Lol, freaky if you two are alike. Blonde hair? Boyfriend? Boyfriend's friend who wants you? Anyway, yes, Ron is evil, because he is the villain…and because he wants to hurt people. How dare him! Everyone loves Megan! Once the battle is over, be prepared for Megan cuteness! And Chloe will have a bigger part after the whole battle is over as well. Had to be funny to get to the action. ^_^

Dreamstrifer: Hmm…definitely subject him to teeny bopper music. I suggest Hanson's Mmm-Bop song played over and over again. That should make his head explode. Damn, now it's stuck in my head! AHHH! Legolas needs to be saved right now, and his savior: a fangirl and fangirl's boyfriend's best friend. Tch, you are your fanbase…Oh yeah, well I'm on 8 people's Fav lists, SO TAKE THAT! lol

Josh aka Mario: Yes, Shawn was a bully in Middle School. But that was in the past, and ya, Jared had an influence on him. Josh…I better not find you drinking and driving…Josh…stop thinking you're cool. Stop…stop…I'll burn your hat!!! And Jack Sparrow is not, I repeat, NOT liking the salami!! He's a vegetarian. ^_~ ttyl

Lindiel Eryn: Hmm…you found me through Dreamstrifer? Heehee, that's pretty cool! I think the reason why this fic is successful is because it's not slash. I always had that idea, that a normal guy would never fall in love with an Elf. And even though Nina and Jared think Shawn's gay, don't worry, he's not. I'm just adding to the humor of it! ^_^ And I've written a lot of responses, so I better be off!

Next chapter: Ron revealed, battle between Legolas and Ron, and who will save the day? Jared, Shawn, Legolas, or someone else? ^_~ Review and I'll update soon!! Btw, Shawn's answering machine is my actual voice mail!


	10. Expect the Unexpected

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter X: Expect the Unexpected

"And what's a little human boy going to do?" Ron watched as Jared produced a long black stick from inside his shirt. "Oh, are you going to poke me with that?" He laughed maniacally. _Jared, you pansy! Why don't you have a gun or something more USEFUL?!?_ Shawn cursed Jared to hell and back. Though out of the corner of his eye, Shawn saw that Legolas was eyeing the little stick very curiously. Then, as if he had realized something so obvious, his eyes snapped open, and a smirk crept onto his lips. What had Legolas figured out that Shawn hadn't? He looked back at Jared and saw the same smirk that was on the Elf.

It seemed that Ron had finally caught on, and was now threatening Legolas' life once again. "You even come one step closer, and the Elf will die." The threat was pathetic; something that one would make when all hope was lost. Which meant…Shawn might come out of this alive! Shawn watched in awe as the black stick in Jared's hand began to glow. Nina jumped back away from the house, but still stayed to watch whatever the hell was going down.

"I am a servant of the secret fire!" The black staff grew in length as Jared continued, "Wielder of the flame of Anor!" Those words seemed somehow very familiar…And then it his Shawn; those were the words Gandalf recited in the mines of Moria! Did that mean…the big stick…looking a tad like a staff…made sense…Jared was perfect in every single way, it could only add up to this…was Jared…

"Yeh're a wizard, Jared," Shawn said in Hagrid's voice. If Jared wasn't basking in a circle of light, Chloe might've laughed, but it didn't seem like the right time.

"Istari," Jared whispered.

"Yeh're an Ih-stari, Jared…you know, it doesn't work the same that way." Well, other than the fact his best friend ended up being a mystical wizardy guy, things couldn't have gotten worse. That was, until Jared started chanting in a really strange language and the house was becoming all dark. Megan clung to Chloe and started crying out loud. Though watching Jared make a total fool of himself (even if it *was* going to save all of their lives) Shawn knew that something was afoot.

The Elidh-Feredir guy had started marching towards Jared, determined to end the chant before it was completed. Jared looked at Shawn and nudged his head towards the kitchen. His eyes spoke for him, "Go to the freakin' kitchen, grab a knife, and HELP ME." Shawn started rolling on the floor (his hands and feet were sort of tied up), around the coffee table (Ron was too concentrated on Legolas and Jared, he didn't notice the Filipino boy), and into the kitchen, where he kneeled and was able to lean himself on the wall to stand up. He turned around and felt for one of the knives on the stack and attempted to cut his bonds. With any luck, he could chuck a couple knives at Ron and/or Elidh.

While Shawn was trying to free himself, Jared's chants rang through the house. It was as if the house itself had started to shake from the vibrations of his voice. The light surrounding him became brighter as the room darkened even more. Elidh raised his hands over his eyes as the radiance became unbearable. Ron was even starting to block his eyes with one of the blades.

The black stick had long since become a wooden staff, with a jade orb settled on its peak. "Return to your true form, creature of darkness!" Jared shouted as all went completely black. Even though the door was open, no light spilled into the room. A curse was heard as Shawn cut himself from being surprised, Megan's cries could be heard in little whimpers, and then there was silence…

But apparently, Jared did have some sort of magic, because a faint red glow resonated from where Legolas lay. Jared eyed it, knowing exactly who the being was; Legolas' face could be seen now. The crimson light became brighter and brighter, until a huge red eye floated above the pale body of Ron. No heat emanated from it. It was as if an apparition had entered the room and decided to haunt all those in the Star residence. Shawn, being freed from the rope and holding a steak knife, entered the room and saw the giant eye.

"What the fuck??" _The freaking eye of Sauron…of course! I mean, why not add ANOTHER fictional mystical thing to the whole scheme of things._ But it did make sense why Ron wanted to know where Frodo was. He *did* want his little old ring of power back. But why the hell would he send Legolas here in order to do so? Why would Jared be an Istari (a wizard, Shawn guessed) and not tell him about it? And what the hell was that shining into his eyes?!?

The reflection of Sauron on Legolas' twin blades, which were spiraled on top of Ron's lifeless body, glistened in front of Shawn. _Oh, nice!_ Maybe the giant eye wouldn't see him scuttle over and pick them up…

And Nina had had enough of being confused as hell. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?"

Jared looked at her, and well, you could say the eye looked, but it was looking all around at the same time, so it kind of looked at her, in a way…Before Jared could tell Chloe to shut her pie hole, somehow the eye had formed an invisible mouth to speak out of.

"Did you not see my name? Ron Dorslau…" The name ringed a bell in all ears.

"Lord Sauron," Chloe whispered. It was his name mixed up!

Jared decided it was his turn to explain. "Sauron created that body years ago, knowing that the ring was calling to him. He knew that someone would try to stop him by casting the ring into the Mordor, and he had to stop them. If he brought them to this world, they would be powerless against Sauron. Except he couldn't bring the ring here, so he brought one of the fellowship. That way he could get the location of the ring and go back to Middle-Earth and hunt it down very easily. Hence why I was sent seventeen years ago to follow Ron and protect the gate that Sauron and a fellowship member would have to go through…though I never did arrive on time, did I?"

While Shawn stopped to wonder why everyone had to explain the evil plan of the villain during the middle of fight, he noticed Elidh was turned around, facing Jared, ready to attack him. And Jared still couldn't move his staff away from Sauron, lest he get away or something like that. Shawn, thinking fast, and hoping that his aim was much better than he thought it was, threw a knife at Elidh.

And he wasn't…though he did manage to hit Elidh's head with the hilt of the blade, causing him to lose consciousness, and giving Jared the opportunity to do whatever he wanted with Sauron. He was, after all, an Istari. While Jared stuck his staff out and walked closer and closer to the all seeing eye, Shawn quickly slashed the bonds of Legolas, and both stood at the other side of Sauron. Legolas now had one of his blades, though its usefulness on a glowing spirit eye was in doubt.

"Go back to the Shadow!" Yelled Jared and beaming light illuminated the room. _That doesn't really make sense…did he mean Middle-Earth? Or perhaps Mordor?_ Whatever Jared had meant, Sauron was pinned by the Istari's staff. _Maybe he's like as powerful as Gandalf and Saruman put together…_ "The Dark Lord will never return to power!"

::poof::

And all was right with the world…or was it?

Shawn stared at the pile of ashes on his carpet. Everything was its normal brightness, and even Elidh and Ron's bodies were gone. Though Jared still held the long black staff in his hand. _That went by a little too quick…it's like a Harry Potter movie…Everything's resolved with something going ::poof!::…I wonder if Jared has a hidden scar on his forehead…_

"Hey Jared…I think it's time we had a little talk…"

~*~

"And so you see, Sauron brought Legolas here to get the location of the ring. And I'm here because we Istari knew Sauron would try to pull something like this, so they sent one of us (me) to live here in Edison, since it's the only town in the world that has a dimensional gate. (Also known as the area under the goal posts.) And now Ron's body has deteriorated, since he doesn't have a spirit in him, and Sauron is back in Middle-Earth, where he should be, and I'm here, protecting the gate, and Elidh…well, I'm not too sure about him."

The group listened as Jared explained for the umpteenth time how Sauron and Legolas came to be in Edison. Things were beginning to clear up, but now Legolas wanted to go through the gate mentioned by Jared.

"NOOO! NOT MY ELF!!" Yelled Chloe when Legolas told her (he still didn't know enough English) that he wanted to go back to Middle-Earth.

"Chloe, this whole time we wanted to find a way for Legolas to go home, and now he's found a way." Shawn reasoned. "Shouldn't you, ya know, let him go?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" She whined. Megan covered her ears and buried herself into Legolas' tunic. She hadn't let go of him since he untied her from the rope.

"Well…there's a slight problem there too…" Jared said nervously. Everyone eyed him. He laughed trying to lighten the mood. "It's not a _bad_ problem…just a slight delay…" Once again, blank stare, even Legolas who was getting this all translated by Chloe. "Eh…well…the only way to go through the gate is with an exceptional amount of energy…and I kind of…drained my supply sending Sauron back…So…Legolas…is stuck here…until I can regain some major power…"

"And how long will that be?" Asked Shawn agitated.

"I have no idea. I've never sent a Dark Lord to another dimension before! Why don't you try it some time!" Jared was becoming a bit defensive in his weakened state.

Shawn sighed. "Well, I guess we'll just hang out here until you 'regenerate' or whatever the hell you have to do."

"Fuck you."

"Only girls man, only girls."

Chloe looked around the room and noticed a member missing. "Where's Nina? Didn't she come with you Jared?" Jared took a look around the room and saw the door still hanging open.

"Oh ya! She's still outside. Looks like she's been petrified. And why is it that today reminds me of Harry Potter?"

Shawn jumped up and saw to his girlfriend. Her eyes were unblinking as she stared drooling at Legolas. He waved his hands in front of her face, then said blankly, "I think she's in a fantasy coma…"

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews:**

Blume: Slash is good, we like slash!! ^_^ Specially Legolas/Glorfindel, Shuichi/Yuki, Shuichi/Ryuichi, Tatsuha/Ryuichi, etc…I love Gravitation! ^_^ And while I must say the reviews have come a tad…strange, the first review you gave me was by far the strangest. No one has ever given me out their bra size before! Lol, but anyway, yes! The great outdoors! Just wait till I take Legolas to the park!!!

Nina: Blonde highlights work. I had red, but my hair is so dark, you couldn't see them at all. How sad. ^_^ I still say my second to last boyfriend was definitely gay. Should've trusted Sara's (my friend) Gaydar. Then I could've avoided the whole thing. ^_^ Megan's alive but shaken!

namarie2legolas: lol, I screamed through the phone to my boyfriend once…but that was because there was a spider in my room…lol, I don't know if you can beat up people, but apparently, putting any real life people in fics is a no no. Damn, and no, you can beat up Brad Pitt, though I do think he is quite sexy. Umm…how about…we make Ron eat the nasty pizza, we braid Legolas' hair, then we proceed to rape both Shawn and Legolas while a gang of homos chases Ron around ^_~

Anthy's worst fear: Is it just me, or are there multiple personalities here? Lol, wish I had an inner Dilandau. That's be awesome!!! I wonder if Dmitri counts. He wants to rule the world. Pink hair _does_ rock, as does slash. And ya, WOO HOO TO PINK HAIR!! Lol

Josh: look! I wrote a chapter! And now I'm writing more cos you complained about not being special. Anyway, hope you like my twisted version of Jared and Harry Potter. Maybe I will give Jared a scar, which would make sense since he always wears a hat. More Nina to come, specially with Jared and her O_o and I really need to focus on Legolas more. I keep going to my OCs, when I kno the fans want more Legolas, cos that's what I would want. And then you just want more Jared, lol. How frigged up is that?

Dreamstrifer: lol, someone's voicemail was hello, and I started talking to it, then I realized it was voice mail and felt like a complete idiot. AND YOU DO NOT OWN MY FAN BASE! ::hugs reviewers:: THEY"RE MINE I TELL YOU! MIIIIIINE! Damn Clementine. I hate him…o hey, I'm in your fan base too, go figure…

tamara: he pulled out…a cat! Look! He's a magician! Tee hee..okay so not really, but it would've been funny. Or if he pulled out Orlando Bloom. That would've been NICE.

Anyway, I need to do summer reading, so if I don't update soon, blame it on that and damn teachers. Ja ne!


	11. Confessions of Love

Warning: Fluff and Song Parody

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter XI: Confessions of Love

~*~Nina's fantasy coma~*~

Her eyes blinked open. Sapphire ones stared back. She could feel the warm breath of her lover down the nape of her neck. This was how it was supposed to be. Locks of golden tresses fell onto her shoulders, mixing with her own blonde hair. She sighed. They were floating on a cloud. There was no need for words, both happy to be in each other's company. Legolas stroked Nina's curls and twisted them in his fingers. It always felt so good to have someone play with your hair, especially when they're a hot Elf.

A sudden burst of flower petals danced in the sky. It was a fantasy coma, after all. Legolas stopped his movements, and Nina looked up in confusion. It seemed Legolas only wanted her to look at him, for he leaned in and their lips briefly met. Nina clutched the soft tunic and kissed as passionately back. And even though the sun had just been shining brightly, it was suddenly replaced by a full moon. The stars twinkled, and since it was, once again, a fantasy coma, there was no need to breath.

They broke apart from each other, Nina never letting go of her love. Who would, on this magnificent night…"If this is a dream, never let me wake up," Nina whispered.

[Legolas:] "I can show you the world, shining shimmering splendid.

Tell me Nina, now when did you last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes, rape you over and over.

Over, sideways, and under on a magic cloud like ride!

I'll take you now, rip your clothes off for a nice view.

Now I will grope you ho, no where to go.

So tell me you believe me."

[Nina:] "I'm a lil scared, neither am I well prepared.

You're moving way too fast, advances last.

Let me go now I'm not loving you."

[Legolas:] "Now I'm groping you all over now."

[Nina:] "Unbelievable sights, indescribable feeling.

Taking clothes off, and seeing

Something that I've never seen.

Let go of me,"

[Legolas:] "Don't you dare close your eyes."

[Nina:] "Chloe would be so jealous of me."

[Legolas:] "Hold your breath, it gets better."

[Nina:] "An Elf is pretty hot, like the one I've got.

I can't go back to Shawneee."

[Legolas:] "I'll rape you now."

[Nina:] "Every turn a surprise."

[Legolas:] "With new girlies to pursue."

[Nine:] "I am the only one you do."

[Both:] "We will have so much fun,

With what's to come.

Let me share this day dream with you.

I'll rape you now

With Chloe."

[Nina:] "(Without Chloe…)"

[Legolas:] "A thrilling pace."

[Nina:] "A wondrous place."

[Both:] "For you and me."

As if from no where, Chloe was suddenly hovering over her, along with Jared and Shawn. Nina screamed as Legolas was suddenly gone from their floating cloud.

"NOOOO! It's not supposed to be like this! If this is a dream, let me wake up!!!"

~*~End Nina's fantasy coma~*~

Nina awoke to her god staring into her eyes. She would've believed it was a dream, and that her awakening was all apart of it, but the fact Nina and Shawn were also looming over her made her realize this was real. And she much rather it be real than fake! In exactly 2.6 seconds, she was glomping him on the floor, refusing to let go for anything.

"LEGOLAS MY LOVE!!!" She tightened her grasp around the poor Elf. Nina joined in on the fun, knowing how much it would tick Shawn off, and because it wasn't every day Legolas showed up in your house, no matter how many fanfics she had read. 

"Whoa whoa whoa WHOA! Get off the Elf!!!" Legolas struggled with the girls, trying in vain not to hurt one, which was impossible. Nina put her hand under the first layer of tunic in attempt to undress Legolas.

"Tampa tanya!!" (Stop that!!) Legolas yelled and shoved the girls, not caring for their own well-being anymore. He dashed to Shawn's room with Nina and Chloe nipping at his heels. What did he do to deserve this??

Shawn laughed as the Elf scampered around his house, fleeing from a mob (two people could be considered a mob in Shawn's mind) of fangirls. "Tua amin!" (Help me!) Yelled Legolas taking shelter in back of Shawn.

"Hey hey hey! Not back there!" He blanched when he saw the determined fangirls closing in on their prey. "But Nina's mine!!"

Nina stopped short of tackling the boys, taking in what Shawn said. Chloe, however was another story, and had thrown all her weight onto both of them, and was now trying to push Shawn off to get to Legolas. At the same time, Jared was raiding the kitchen, totally oblivious to all that was going on. While Chloe dragged the poor Elf off to his doom in Shawn's room, Nina sat down next to Shawn.

"I'm yours? What, do you think Legolas was going to steal me?" Shawn blushed.

"Well, not steal you, but your physical attraction to him would've caused something to happen, at least on the sexual level…"

Nina laughed, "Shawn, you're so thick sometimes. Yes, I love Legolas, but I love you too. Legolas is more of the physical love. He's the kind of guy a girl just wants to pin down and rape. And then there's you. You're the most considerate guy I know. Others would've just left Legolas out on that field (from what I gather), but you didn't. You're the nicest person I know, and my love for you is both." She inched closer and kissed him. Shawn didn't refuse.

"Now please, let me go have fun with the pretty Elf??" Not waiting for an answer, she ran after Chloe into Shawn's room, locking the door behind her. Shawn stayed on the ground for a moment before Jared walked in, holding a massive bowl popcorn. _Nina loves me…she might love Legolas…but I'm the full package! All right!_

"What's up with you and Nina. One minute you're all mature, the next you're like all sex-time."

Shawn laughed and grabbed a handful of popcorn. "Sex-time, it's like, what time is it? Oh look, it's quarter to sex!"

~*~

"Chloe! Go around that side!" Nina motioned at the bed. They had cornered Legolas in Shawn's room, and were proceeding to lust him in any form possible.

Legolas feared for his mental stability. Well, not only that, but his body could be used for…inappropriate things if the psychos caught him. Which left him only one choice: either kill the girls and say that they were actually orcs, or somehow jump over the bed and out of window, inconveniently down, but could be opened. Going with the latter, Legolas prepared an Elven Escapade through the Minds of Many a Fangirl.

"He's going for the window Nina!!" Shouted Chloe, as Legolas jumped on the bed and kept his eyes on the window. Nina made a mad dash to stop him, but landed on the bed only a second too late. Legolas thanked Elbereth for that bed, its usefulness being a barrier between him and the fangirls. He quickly opened the window and jumped out onto a nearby tree. Once again, praise be to Elbereth, for Shawn's house was on a hill, therefore his room was elevated!

Nina and Chloe watched as Legolas slid down the tree with all his Elven grace. Elves were very sexy when they were driven by fear. Staring at the retreating form in momentary silence, they stood at the window and tried to make a mental picture to keep for the rest of their lives. Chloe screamed out as Legolas rounded the house to the front door, still wide open for some odd reason, "Amin mela lle!!!" (I love you!!!) Legolas yelled back a reply as he entered the house,

"Amin n'nowa ikotane…" (I don't think so…) Jared and Shawn saw Legolas come in and barricade Shawn's room with large pieces of furniture. Satisfied that no one could open the door, Legolas sat down on the couch and tried a piece of popcorn.

"Amin n'rangwa edanea." (I don't understand these humans.) Jared laughed and Shawn looked confused. Oh how he wished Legolas spoke in English. That way he wouldn't have to learn Sindarin, and so Chloe could leave his house a.s.a.p. Making a mental note to give Legolas English lessons, the three sat on the couch for a while eating popcorn and listening to the girls vain attempts to open the door and pleas for Legolas to help them.

"They don't realize they could climb down the tree…" Remarked Jared.

"Or go through the vents…" Mumbled Shawn.

So when can I go home?

"Or they could use Chloe's head to break the door down."

"She must have some kind of use in the world."

Jared…Is your magic back yet?

 "Shawn, you forget that it was her that figured out Ron was Sauron, and who El was."

"Speaking of Elidh, where did he go? Did you send him back to Middle-Earth?"

Merry and Pippin are still in need of help…

"Noo…I thought you did…"

"Jared…do I have fucking magical pansy powers?"

"Yes…"

"Jared you fucking loser. He's still in our world isn't he?"

You see, they're helpless little hobbits. They don't even reach up to my hip!

"If you mean on earth, then he is on a world…"

"I'm going to kill you…"

I love you. Shawn and Jared looked at the Elf. Legolas shrugged. Well, I have my doubts on Shawn, but I did get the necessary attention.

Jared whispered to Shawn, "See what you're homo tendencies have done?"

"Go fiddle with your staff, wizard boy."

tbc…

**Sex-time joke compliments of Josh. Give him a round of applause!

**Responses to Reviews:**

Dreamstrifer: Oh, you're not in a good mood? I hope my fic cheered you up a bit! ^_^ I made this chapter very Harry Potter. Not sure why, a part of me thought it might be funny, another part was like, Josh will love this. ^_^ (Josh is sorta my muse for this fic) And more Megan to come! (She was MIA this chapter though, but I have my reasons! No fears!) Hey, if you're going to curse play directors, bring Nikita with you. He has a reall big gun ^____^

namarie2legolas: Hahahaha, no, Shawn's mine. Based off my love ARLY! I LOVE YOU! (guy in my school, very hot Filipino) Um…yes…pin the tail on the Legolas would be nice, though I think we accomplished pin the fangirl on him. ^_^ And what the hell is booster-mad sheep treatment?? I don't even think I want to know…^_~

Veronica: Thanks! The whole chapter was kinda Harry Potter, in my mind. ^_^; that was a very short review, but a review nonetheless! I don't know what else to say!! Umm…THANK YOU!! ^.^

Josh: Thank you Josh for pointing out the EXACT paragraphs that made you laugh..funny thing is, I went back and saw what you were laughing at, hahaha. The other funny thing is, I did end up watching anime and ordering manga online. Teehee, you know me so well. ::watches kazaa go so freakin slow:: REMOTELY QUED??? AGAIN?!?! DIE! I hate computers.

Thanks for all the lovely reviews, and sorry that this chapter didn't really go anywhere. There will be more Legolas to come! Ja ne! 


	12. “We’re going streaking!” –Will Ferrel

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter XII: "We're going streaking!" –Will Ferrel

And so that night (being Saturday) there was an unofficial party at the Star residence. Jared asked where Shawn's dad was, and was given the answer: most likely at a bar, then at some woman's house, then at another bar, then at another woman's house, then at a strip club, so on and so forth. He would probably show up on Monday, or at least call before he went to work. Shawn rarely saw him, and he thought for the better at the moment. He was sure if his dad showed up now, he wouldn't approve of having four extra people in the house.

Shawn released the girls from his room after they promised to stay away from Legolas that night. They called each other parent's and said they were sleeping over their respective houses. No doubt neither one's parents would want them spending the night alone with three boys. Well, one boy, one magical Istari guy, and an Elf. After all that was done, Shawn ordered pizza and stole some money from his dad's wallet. Even though they knew Elidh-Feredir was still out and about, he wouldn't be so stupid to make another move right after they just got rid of Sauron. He would need time to plan, and the girls wanted to celebrate the arrival of Legolas' arrival in their world. And that was how the party was started.

Legolas' views of parties were completely different from what was happening now. Nina and Chloe were raiding the house for good music, cursing Shawn for his horrible taste. "Where's Backstreet Boys? N'Sync? My god!" Yelled Nina. "Reggie & the Full Effect?? How can you not have that?? And what about Placebo? He's so cool!!!"  At least Chloe's music wasn't as bad as the boy bands. Shawn much rather listen to Sean Paul (and Reggie, but he would never tell Chloe that he liked the same music as her). Jared, however, was a freak boy who just HAD to listen to Weezer day and night. So the cds they chose were very random.

Legolas didn't understand how they were going to listen to music without someone playing it in the room, until Nina popped in a cd and it began to play all over the house. They didn't blast it, for fear that other people would get the idea there was a party, or that their neighbors would call the police and say there was a party next door, in which the police would see Legolas and his Elven Blades of Doom, and then they would ask to see his license for them, and it would just be bad. So instead they kept the music loud enough to dance to. 

Chloe skipped, literally, out of the kitchen holding several bottles of coke. Her pink hair danced on her face, but she didn't care. She set them down on the coffee table, or rather, Legolas' previous table of torture. The reason for her happiness, they were the old type of bottles, made of glass with the caps you had to pop off. Not only did Chloe love these bottles, she collected them and but sand from around the world in them. When Legolas asked her why, she responded, Well, because when my friends go to other countries and/or states, they want to know what you want for a gift. She popped off the cap of a bottle. And since I know most of my friends are on a tight budget, I tell them, bring me back sand. It doesn't cost anything, and it looks pretty…and it's just cool!

She handed him a bottle. He sniffed it warily, not quite sure what the liquid was, but dehydrated. When was the last time he ate? In Middle Earth! That was yesterday morning. Now it was Saturday night. Shawn was a terrible host. But then again, his house had been raided by Sauron, and then Legolas remembered that Chloe had made some kind of corn earlier while watching the movie of himself. He just hadn't had anyone because he was so entranced by the recap of his journey.

Taking a quick sip out of the bottle, he was surprised when it started to fizz on his tongue. He swallowed it fast and was left with a weird feeling in his mouth. He must've made a funny face, since Chloe was laughing at him. Then she took a long chug of it, downing the whole bottle of Coke. Legolas made a face of embarrassment. This mere pink haired girl could drink it all, while he, the two-thousand year old Elf, couldn't even handle a sip. She saw his humiliation, and laughed, Don't worry Leggy-babe. It's an acquired taste, and it's carbonated. I doubt an Elf could drink this and be fine.

Legolas wouldn't let his pride be ripped away by a measly drink. Holding his breath, he tilted his head back and attempted to drink it all down as Chloe had just done. His only problem was it felt like it was burning his throat. He started coughing it up, getting it all over his tunic. Chloe jumped away, her mirth seriously pissing off the Elf. "Shawn!! Leggy needs some new clothes! He kinda…got Coke all over his!" Shawn peeked around the hallway and saw the wet and blushing Elf.

"Whatever. Tell him I've got clothes in my third dresser drawer." He went back to whatever he was doing. This was when Chloe had the best idea of her life.

"I think he needs a bath too! He smells!"

Legolas, catching some of the English, responded, Elves do not smell!

You do, fairy boy.

Shawn came around the corner holding a towel. He couldn't care less. In all truth, they all needed a nice shower. He was exhausted from the trials before, and he just wanted to collapse on his bed and sleep for another year or two. But of course not. Chloe and Nina just _had_ to have a party. "Like a 'Welcome to Our World' sort of thing? What did you think, hun?" Shawn had shrugged at the idea before, but was having second thoughts now. _I can't believe Nina talked me into this. As long as nothing bad happens, I don't care. And as long as no one ends up pregnant. Maybe I should fix Legolas._ Shawn laughed at himself while Chloe gave him a weird face.

Shawn showed him into the bathroom. Chloe stood at the door to translate. "Just turn this one to the right to make it warm, and this one to the right to make it cold. Opposite turns them off. There's shampoo (for your hair) over here. You've got two choices: Strawberry or neutral Suave." He didn't know if the Elf wanted to smell like a fruit or like a guy. "And then you've got body wash, here's a wash cloth," handing Legolas a wash cloth. "And that's about it. You _do_ know how to shower, right?"

We have baths, but this seems fairly simple, like a waterfall almost.

"Riiiight…Food'll be here soon, so don't take too long." Shawn started to make his way back when he saw Chloe still sitting on the toilet. "Coming Chloe?"

"Nope! I've got a nice view right here!" He dragged her wrist kicking and screaming out and closed the door. "NOOOO! MY PLAN!!!!!! IT HAS FAILED ME! Curse you male! Curse you to the depths of hell!!"

"Chloe, do you think Legolas would've let you stay in there anyway?" She shook her head: no. "Right, so you wouldn't have seen anything anyway." Chloe looked at her feet. _Weird child._ Now back to raiding the house._ However, a mess of long blonde hair was in his way. Nina stood near Chloe, looking at the door with puppy eyes. She had witnessed the cleaning habits of Legolas, and also wanted a piece of the Elf._

Shawn sighed and turned back to the bathroom door. Knocking and poking his head in, he saw Legolas only had his shirt off. He gave Shawn a puzzled look, before Shawn locked the door from the inside, knowing that Legolas would figure it out when he wanted to leave. He closed the door, looked at the girls, who were now at his ankles, trying to sneak a look at the Elf. "Get a life!!!" He yelled at them and stomped away.

Chloe and Nina weren't easily defeated.

~*~

Legolas sighed as the hot water hit his face. This world was so strange. He existed as a fairy tale character, yet he knew he was real. Chloe tried to explain it, but it didn't help. But with Jared in this place, he knew the Istari would eventually generate enough power to send him back to Merry and Pippin. His thoughts wavered to them. How were they doing? Had the orcs hurt them at all? He prayed to Elbereth that they were alright. He knew Aragorn and Gimli wouldn't stop hunting them down, but what did they think when Legolas suddenly disappeared? He hoped Aragorn had enough sense to keep the search going. Legolas could take care of himself, unlike the hobbits.

He reached for the red bottle of shampoo. And started to pour it in his hair and scrubbed vigorously. Some of the bubbles traveled down his face, getting in his eye and mouth. He immediately tried to rinse it out, the stinging and bitter taste unbearable. He grew aggravated. He couldn't even bathe himself without something stinging or tasting horrible!! Cursing under his breath, he continued his shower, as Shawn had called it. He doubted he would be able to take one again. But that all depended on how long it took Jared to have enough magic. And Jared didn't know. Legolas wondered if Jared was even his real name.

He must've been in there for ten minutes or more, because the next thing he heard was a loud bell sound. Legolas, thinking that someone was trying to break into the house, more specifically, Elidh-Feredir, jumped out of the shower and fumbled with the door. He had sensed someone coming, but brushed it off. The unfamiliar sound gave him reason for panic, and he threw the door open.

"N'alaquel, k'sher!" (Back, evil one!) Shawn stood at the doorway, holding four large white boxes in one hand, handing green paper to a girl dressed in all red. Nina and Chloe had been sitting near the bathroom the entire time, and were staring at Legolas from behind. Jared walked into the room, and immediately walked out.

It was one hell of a scene. The girl at the door slowly took the money, backed away from the house, and ran to the car. Shawn yelled out an apology and put the boxes down on the coffee table. Nina and Chloe continued to stare. Shawn grabbed a towel from the closet in the hallway and threw it at Legolas. Nina and Chloe continued to stare. Legolas turned bright red and headed for Shawn's room, where clothes awaited. And the girls continued to stare. Shawn waved a hand in front of their faces, and they stared to where Legolas had been.

"Fantasy coma?" He asked to no one in particular then went to the kitchen to get a knife. _Stupid Elf.__ There is such a thing as a towel. ::Sigh:: _Am I going to have to explain a doorbell and public decency?__

Out of ear range, Nina finally choked out, "Chloe, we were gypped. That pizza girl got full frontal view…we got ass."

"Ass is good."

"Ass is good…but but…"

"Be grateful, mein freund. We at least saw _something._"

"And it was good."

"Nina?"

"Ya Chloe?"

"I wish we were that girl."

"Me too."

"I wish I was Shawn."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"You forget the one thing about being Shawn."

"And what's that?"

"He's a guy."

"Ew."

"And he's got a no-no."

"Ew…"

"That's why we wish we were that girl."

"Very much so."

"Chloe?"

"What?"

"The bedroom door is unlocked."

"Thank you god."

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews:**

too lazy to sign in: Hahaha, too lazy to sign in, get off your lazy ass! J/k!! Glad you like this! ^_^ Sorry bout making Legolas pseudo gay (I know what that means now! Go me!) But it makes people laugh, and me, but I'll lighten it down a bit. Now it'll be more fangirls going after Leggy babe.

Dreamstrifer: Yes, Legolas needs to work on getting attention, especially *when* to get it. HI NIKITA! Orion lost his gun while searching for Fluffy outside. Yes! Be a rebel! Skip practice! Everyday!!! Mwahahah. ::erhem:: yes, the sex time joke isn't mine, like I said, but Josh's. And yay! 17 is a cool age. So that means by the time I post this, it'll be…::counts:: I think 8 days till your birthday! Happy almost birthday!!! (I never got a present for my birthday) ::pouts::

Blume: Well, I got two reviews from you, so no doubt this is gonna be long. Let's see, HI SAMANTHA! (And ya, jumping from 9 to 11 ya miss a lot, heheh) Wow, sugar high…I'm scared!! AHHH! PUT THE SUGAR DOWN! Gravitation ROCKS MY SOCKS! Hahaha, I love Ryuichi! He's so freaking CUTE! And I got my own Kumagorou, and and and I went cosplay as him to Anime Boston! (It was a bad costume) And I met a cosplay Legolas there, I LOVE YOU LANCE FROM OHIO. And it was just good. And beer is your greatest passion? Are you Homer Simpson? Hahaha, j/k. Slash is good. We like slash. Specially Gravi slash, and hmm...D.N.Angel slash is a bit odd but good…but I don't think I'm gonna read Pirates of the Caribbean slash. I'd rather keep my impression of JACK SPARROW as it is now. ^_^ Don't want to corrupt it.

tamara: I'm funny? ::tear:: THANK YOU!!!! They're all funny?? ^___^ you make me so happy!!!

Josh: Hahaha, I'm a shim. Fear me! I think like a man! Well, I took a gender quiz, and it said I was a man. Ya, that was pretty funny. I killed the computer after that. lol. And when has this become Jared & Co.? I thought it was Shawn & Co. Jared was hardly in this chapter. No fears. The chapter to come will be better. ::evil laughter:: And look, I got Legolas naked!

Nina: That's wicked funny that you were playing that song! Hahaha, I sang it with a midi online, though I made sure I was out of hearing range. Don't want the parientes to know I'm writing perverted parodies! (I've got another one too. Dunno where I can fit it in, but I'll try) ^_^ I'm glad you liked it! ::snicker:: homo tendencies

namarie2legolas: Hmm…I call Matt the Rapist, only cos he really is one. And as for Matt, he'd do anything. I'm sure of it. Sorry that you found it disturbing. I originally wanted to make it just funny, but it got a little out of hand and perverted, but then again, it's Nina's mind. Oh, and it's not the Genie saying that. What you have to do it at that part, when Aladdin is like, calm down Rajah, or whatever, turn the volume up REALLY loud, and then Aladdin whispers it. ITS SO FUNNY. Hmm, Legolas getting drunk and going to a strip bar? Now _that's_ a good idea! Tee hee!!!

And so here it is. A tad longer than usual, and I was planning on making the party a one hit chapter. Now it looks like the next chapter will be the party itself. But ya'll will like that! ^_~ ::off to read more summer reading damn freaking boring books that should be burned in the fiery inferno called hell aka my backyard::


	13. Spin the Bottle of Doom

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter XIII: Spin the Bottle (of Doom)

Legolas was finishing putting on one of Shawn's muscle shirts when he heard a pair of giggles from outside the door. He turned around and saw four eyes peeking in through the door. He looked down; he had yet to put his shorts on…he looked back up; Chloe and Nina were staring there…Legolas grabbed the shorts off the bed and quickly placed them in front of his...no-no zone. Blushing a deep red, he shouted at the girls while storming to the door,

Perverted humans! Why don't you go stare at Shawn or Jared?!? As he slammed the door shut, a muffled voice answered him.

Because you're bigger!!! Legolas didn't think he could be any more embarrassed, but the color of his face had deepened even further, matching the color of Nina's red shirt. As long as Jared, the only other person in the house that understood Sindarin, didn't hear, it would be okay. But of course, Legolas had no luck what-so-ever, and heard a fight beginning with Chloe and Jared, in Sindarin of course.

Are you kidding me?? No way the Elf's bigger than me!! I'm an Istari!

Ya well you must be pointing your staff instead, inch boy.

I'M BIGGER THAN THAT!!! Jared screamed with all his might. Obviously a low blow.

Singing, Chloe danced away from the door, That's not what Taylor said! (Taylor, being Jared's ex-girlfriend.)

Legolas buried his head in his hands. This day was by far the worst day of his life. Even when his father had banished him to his room for six months was worse than this. At least then he had gotten a few pranks in. What'd he do this time? Get glomped, tied up, stared at, streaked, and now, mortifyingly embarrassed. He contemplated staying locked in Shawn's room all night. He knew he would be sleeping there anyway. But they had already started this "party" and he knew they wanted him to experience it. Sucking it up, he cursed his luck for not being thrown into a demon world where he could've at least killed things, and went to face what was worse than a demon-world: fangirls.

~*~

Shawn knocked on Megan's door. No answer. She must've gone to bed. It was almost eleven, and here they were, eating pizza, drinking Coke, and just dancing around the house. He made sure they kept it low enough so that Meg could sleep, but even so, he couldn't help feel that the girl was dead to the world after she fell asleep. He shrugged it off and went back to join the fun.

Chloe and Nina were sitting on both sides of Legolas, giving him seducing looks and little touches here and there. At the moment, Nina was stroking Legolas's muscular arm while Chloe laid her head to rest on his shoulder. Legolas gave Jared and Shawn a pleading look, Please help me!!! I'll do anything!!! Shawn merely laughed while Jared threw a chip at Chloe's mouth. She saw it coming and opened her mouth to the oily potato.

"Mmmm, tastes good," quoting Cruel Intentions. If the girl could be any weirder, it was in her taste of movies. It went from Lord of the Rings and anything Orlando Bloom/ Ewan McGregor to Cruel Intentions. Weird, weird child.

Nina finished one of her Coke bottles and put it down on the floor while Weezer blasted through the house. Her foot knocked the bottle, causing it to fall over and spin around towards the stereo. She stopped her stroking fest with Legolas to grab it, when a thought struck her. She grinned evilly and turned to her comrade. Chloe looked over Legolas's shoulder and saw Nina holding the bottle. They smirked and nodded. Chloe was a genius! That was why she insisted on drinking bottled Coke!!!

"I have a proposition to make," Nina began all serious-like. "I have this here _bottle_ in my hand. And my associate Chloe has a coin. If it lands on heads, we decide what to do with this _bottle_. If tails, you decide. You catch my drift?"

Shawn looked at Nina in horror. _No no no no no no! How about NO Nina?? Mmmkay? You just want to be lucky and land on Legolas! Or just my luck, it will land on Jared, cos he's been after you ever since we started dating. ::mental scream:: Why don't we just SLEEP?!?_

"I am all for that!" Jared said while a horrified Shawn gazed at him. Legolas didn't know what the hell was going on, and Jared explained it.

So if it lands on tails, we don't have to play this…kissing game?

Nope! But the odds are in our favor. The coin almost always lands on tails. The heads side is heavier, Jared explained. After further urging, Jared and Legolas were in. They all looked at Shawn, who was sitting with his legs tucked under his chin.

"As long as it's not a French kiss or anything like a make-out session of Jared and Taylor."

"Hey!! We didn't go at it every time we kissed…wait…ya we did. Nevermind."

"Then it's settled!" Chloe flipped the coin in the air and everyone held their breath. They say there's a fifty-fifty chance. They say that the heads side is heavier. They say tails lands more often than not. They say wrong.

Heads.

The three boys (aka the Elf, Istari, and Shawn) stared at the coin tumbling onto the floor. It was heads. Heads!! Jared was happy (who wouldn't be, there were only two girls, one of which he wanted very very badly, and the other who he wouldn't mind to kiss). Shawn and Legolas, on the other hand, looked at each other with complete fear in their eyes. Legolas drooped his head.

Being forced to travel with Gimli was better than this. Chloe jumped on him, wrapping an arm around at the same time.

Aw, come on! You would pass up two beautiful desirable girls for that fat little Dwarf axe bearing loser thing? Legolas glared at Chloe.

Yes I would.

TOO LATE NOW! Insert evil laughter.

They threw Legolas on the other side of the bottle. Chloe and Nina were grinning like crazy. Of course they would have fun with this. The only person Chloe didn't want to even touch was Shawn, because of course, he was off limits, so said the best friend Nina. But she had willingly given into the possibility that it could happen. Too bad for her!

They placed the boys in this order: Shawn on the left, Jared in the middle, and Legolas on the right. Chloe sat next to Nina, facing Shawn and Jared; Nina facing Jared and Legolas. A nice set up, they thought. Nina grabbed the bottle and winked at Legolas. He grimaced and took a deep breath. She began the spin, praying to whatever god ruled the universe that they would give her what she wanted most right then.

Shawn on the other hand, prayed that it wouldn't spin. _Make the bottle explode…make it shatter into a million pieces! SMITE IT! It started to slow down. Slower…slower…and…_

"GOD DAMNIT!" It pointed to Shawn. Why the hell did it have to land on her own boyfriend?!? Lord knew they already kissed and did…other things not worth mentioning. She folded her arms and lent over the spinning area, waiting for Shawn to pucker up.

_It could be worse,_ Shawn thought to himself. _It could've landed on Legolas, or Jared for that matter. Maybe it can land on me the whole night!_ They exchanged a quick peck on the lips, and Chloe started her own spin.

"Legolaslegolaslegolaslegolaslegolaslegolaslegolaslegolaslegolaslegolas…" Tensions increased as it began to slow. Passing Shawn, passing Jared, passing Legolas…it continued to slowly spin until…

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Yelled Nina. Chloe pouted. Shawn. Again. Legolas wiped the sweat that had formed on his brow. Jared swore under his breath,

"Of course, two kisses in a row. And this is homo-boy too."

"Shut up!" Yelped Shawn and gave Chloe a quick peck on the lips. They broke apart not even a second later. She began to rub her lips furiously. "Gross gross gross gross!"

And then it was Shawn's turn. He sighed. _A normal guy would feel lucky. Two kisses, and a third to come, no matter who I land on. But what really sucks is when it comes to Legolas. ::mental scream again:: He didn't care who it landed on. The Coke bottle began its next rotation, landing on Chloe, again._

"GYAH! It's not fair! I just got his spittle off my mouth!" Quick kiss again. And more furious scrubbing. "Nina, how do you kiss this guy?!? He sucks at kissing!" Nina stuck her tongue out at her.

And then there was Jared. "Alright! Land on them both! Let's have a threesome!" They all looked at him.

"Jared, this is spin the bottle, not spin the dick," noted Shawn.

The glass wobbled on the hard wood floor. Shawn noticed his ass was beginning to hurt. This game had better end soon, unless he was going to have permanent ass damage. The others were having this problem too. Chloe and Nina were squirming on the pillows they brought to sit on, while Jared was kneeling, and most likely cutting off circulation to his legs. Only Legolas looked comfortable. _Damn Elven stamina._

And a shriek enveloped the room. "AGAIN!?!" Chloe fell back onto the floor, creating a loud thud. "Just shoot me point blank."

"Come on, baby! You agreed to this game, now let's get it on!" He jumped up and onto the pink haired girl, smothering her in kisses.

"Hahahaha, not funny! Get off Jared! Perv! OUCH!!!!!!!!!" She shoved him violently off. "You just jabbed me in the boob!"

"Stop complaining Chloe! It's Legolas's turn!!"

"NICE!" Shouted Chloe, forgetting her previous injury.

Legolas looked at the bottle regretfully. He told himself to suck it up, it was just a kiss…but he couldn't. And he couldn't just run out of the house again. That would be disgraceful. Sighing, he let the bottle spin.

"Mememememememememememememememememe." Chanted Chloe and Nina.

Spinning, spinning, and spinning, it began to slow. Chloe and Nina bit their nails, as did Shawn (he was a bit girly). And then it stopped. Legolas's jaw dropped. Not…her…

There was complete silence in the room, and then a scream that could only be described as fangirl. "OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Chloe jumped up and began to cry. "I GET TO KISS LEGOLAS!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Legolas looked at the pink haired freak. "Ai Elbereth…" And Legolas was glomped. He struggled under the weight of Chloe, trying to avoid a pair of lips in the process, though his efforts proved futile. They hit him dead on. However, Chloe stayed true to Shawn's kissing rule: it wasn't a make out kiss. It was ONLY on the lips. But Shawn didn't say anything about feeling him up!!

Legolas yelped when he felt a hand exploring his bare chest. When did she get his shirt off?!? He threw her off and backed up to a wall behind Shawn and Jared. "Um gweth!" (Evil woman!) Jared laughed at Legolas's pansy antics. Shawn was totally relieved, he didn't kiss Nina. She would, of course, be extremely disappointed, but he didn't really care. He was boyfriend material, he could comfort her later, after the Elf was gone.

Chloe stood up and smiled evilly, "That wasn't an ordinary kiss." She giggled. "That, my friends, was a special kiss." She pointed at the blushing Legolas. "VIRGIN LIPS!!!"

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews:**

Anthy's worst fear: Hi ya'll (three of you) METROPOLIS IS AWESOME! But I hate the English voices, as I almost always do. (Escaflowne is another series in which I hate the English voices. Scott just can't do a good Van ::shakes head::) I want to get drunk and sing karaoke. That would be so fun! Plus I'd be the one naked, hahahaha. MY FIRST GLOMP! WOOO!!! I feel like I've become a woman now, hahahaha. THANK YOU DUKE RED, even though I would rather Kenichi be my first glomp if you were going to do someone from Metropolis. ^_^ or Ryuichi!

AraelMoonchild: Wanna know what else rocks? Umm…meteor showers! YA! Those are made of rocks too! See look at the fly! ::runs outside to play with shooting stars at approximately…some time before dawn:: ^__^ I like Legolas, he's fun to play with! Tee hee ::off to write more::

Nina: SHHHHHHHHHHH!!! She's sleeping!! Or is she??!? Makes you think, doesn't it! ^_^ I'm glad I make you laugh, it's a hobby. And yes, boy bands are great. LONG LIVE BSB!

namarie2legolas: If I may quote Tatsuha-sama: "Without the asses of the world, there would be no soft, squishy things to land on when we fall down." Asses are a funny thing. People always complain that they are too big and flabby, but without them, what the fuck do we sit on, our hips? I really did just quote that too. Went to nittlegrasper.com and to his temple and to one of his questions to which he answered with just that. (I have no life) Ahh, Aladdin, takes me back to the good ol' days. Genie was gay I tell you! Hmm, Legolas likes to use Skintimate with ::runs to bathroom:: Gillette. None of that manly razor shite! And I don't know about if Elves use deodorant. They do smell nice all the time. My guess is either yes, or those are flowers he's hiding under his arm pits. ^_^

Blume: Yes, we all love you! Coffee is GROSS. Sorry to all the coffee lovers of the world, but YUCK. But sugar is good ^_^ I add like two or three spoon fulls to my tea! How dare YOU admonish KUMAGOROU?!? (Demon Diary if you didn't catch that, which you probably didn't) I'm in a manga mood, and I can't hold myself responsible for what my mind is saying. I'm gonna go see POC for the FOURTH time tomorrow! ALL HAIL **_CAPTAIN_ JACK SPARROW! I wanna be a drunk man, like at Ayana's party that was mentioned in his/her/its review! I'll shut up now.**

Josh: You don't like Legolas naked? Hmm…how about Chloe naked?!? HAHAHA. Ya, I knew guys like Weezer, or so they tell me ::points at Josh:: Hey, why don't you go to a third world country and see what happens when you give someone some Coke! I bet they'd react the same way, if not worse!! ^_^ ::listening to FLCL music:: Ride on shooting star, more nonsense Japanese that I don't understand, AND I'M BEING BOOTED OFF, ttyl

tamara: haha, funny review, I really like your review! Review again soon! (^_^ what else am I gonna say? Lol)

Dreamstrifer: Damn that long review, lol. So now I know two people who like Weezer, interesting. !! I JUST NOTICED THAT…hmm…let's just say that Shawn's dad is a player who gets the ladies to pay for his fun nights out. ^_~ OoOoO sand from Florida. Nice. I have sand from the Mediterranean! WOO! Hahaha, Coke is like alcohol…not really. Diet Coke is better though. Yes…fix an Elf. Easy operation with a pair of scissors. I think anyone would want to help Legolas shower. It's just a good thing. O_o My German is limited to that and Gutentaug. But my French friend should be able to help me in that department! But anyway, good luck with the play and happy birthday! I'll make the next chapter a really good one!

And that's it my friends. ::runs off to gaze at possible meteor showers, with Kumagorou riding on my shoulder:: BTW! I almost hit a tree driving today and was laughed at by this guy Mark who works at the farm. He's so mean to me! THIS WAS MY FIRST DAY DRIVING…it's not MY fault…I'm gonna throw a cow at him. 


	14. Legolas's Love

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter XIV: Legolas's Love

After Nina got over her complete jealousy that Chloe got to be Legolas's first kiss, Shawn decided it was time to sleep. Even though it was only midnight, they were all tired. Jared, out of them all, was the most awake though. It didn't make any sense to the rest of them. He was the one who had the hardest battle, sending Sauron away, but he was still full of energy. His reasoning, there was a difference between magical energy and his own physical energy. Shawn didn't really care about it, he just wanted to get everyone out of his house. They had their party, so technically, they could all leave. But Nina and Chloe refused (because they had called each other's parents and done the whole sneaking out thing). And so, Shawn was stuck with them all.

Legolas was locked up in Shawn's room for the night, while Shawn retired to his couch. Chloe and Nina took the guest room together, and much to Jared's dismay, they locked the door and had the curtains drawn. Sitting down on the couch with Shawn, he commented on the day.

"This was one fucked up day, I hope you realize that."

"No, it's a typical Saturday. Wake up with an Elf and such, then battle it out with an evil lord from another dimension who also happens to be a fictional character, outrun the cops, who are STILL up at the school investigating the orcs, then have a party. And now there are two girls sleeping together in my guest room and an Elf in my room. Things couldn't be better."

"If only they would unlock the door to see what girls do at sleepovers. Taylor told me lots, but I never believed it. Like do girls really start humping each other furiously during the night? I think not. Sometimes I think she just told me that to get me excited. I dunno." Jared sighed.

"There's one thing I don't get about you Jared," started Shawn. "If you're some kind of magical wizard man, and I know about your whole mission and all, but why do you still act like…normal? I mean, Legolas is all proper and shit, but you're like the rest of us." Jared laughed.

"What the hell did you expect? You want me to show up in a little pansy robe like in Harry Potter? Pft, I'm not like you. But anyway, I kind of had to fit in here, so adopting this personality did the job. Hell, no one knew I was an Istari, not that they would expect it."

Shawn looked at his friend, "So you're not really like this? You've pretty much been putting on an act."

Jared sighed, "If you want to look at it that way, then ya, I deceived you or whatever. But I did what I had to do, and trust me, I would rather stay here than go back to Middle Earth, but I kind of have to. I have an inkling that Saruman is going to call me back to discuss everything. But then again, now I know he's a back stabbing son of a bitch (from reading Tolkien, mind you). Imagine my surprise when I learned that our world was fictional. Freaked me out. But whatever. At least now I know what's going to happen in the future and can try to stop it. But then there's that whole thing where you can't change the future because fate stops you, damn timelines. So maybe I'll change the future, but most likely not. Watch me die or something. Or worse…"

"Dude, shut up." Rambling annoyed Shawn. Jared retired to the other couch and flopped down, most likely to day dream since he wasn't tired. Shawn wrapped the blanket around himself. _Well, one day over. It's been over twenty-four hours, and I survived with an Elf. How much longer can I do this?_

~*~

The next day came as a surprise for Legolas. For one, it began with a loud banging at his door, followed by incessant giggles, and yet more pounding. He was sure he saw eyes at the bottom of the door, trying to peek through in hopes for seeing a sleeping beauty (one of them shouted it). This meant he had to be kissed to awaken, one that two girls were willing to give. Legolas threw the sheets off the bed and wrapped them around himself. It was really really hot that night, and he didn't dare open the window or even draw the shades. Too risky. And he would not in any circumstance even leave it unlocked. So he had stripped down during the night. But Legolas, being slightly a dumb blonde, opened the door to his visitors (of course this was to yell at them, but he didn't exactly think it out beforehand).

Please stop banging on the door. It's rather irritating, he said with a yawn. The girls fawned at his sheet clothed self. He dismissed their behavior, he was too tired to care. As he turned around to close the door, he realized there was a draft…a not so good one. Once again, he brushed it off and locked the door. However outside, two fangirls were speechless.

"We saw ass…again…" stated Nina. 

"Funny, I always thought Elves were early risers, and morning people. Obviously Tolkien is a lying bastard," Chloe cursed her god. She was never one for all out devotion. Be suspicious of everyone and everything!

"Chloe shut up and grasp the situation: we just saw Legolas partially naked, in less than ten hours, and we saw bootylicious abs of steel, aw man, if only Shawn had Legolas's body. Perfect man right there."

"Nina, you see, I was Legolas's first kiss. Ass does not discern me now. I'm more shocked he's tired…"

"Did you ever realize that it might be because it's like what, three am?"

"Course not!"

Prowling around the Star residence at ungodly hours, Chloe and Nina made their way back to their room. They spotted Shawn and Jared unconscious on the couches. Chloe inwardly laughed. Istari were supposed to be aware of everything around them. She crept up to him, despite Nina's protests. She pinched his nose closed and waited to see his reaction. In his sleep, he swatted her hand away and shifted. Then Chloe was hit with a wonderful, yet evil immature idea. "Nina, fill up a cup of warm water."

~*~

Legolas woke up at dawn, which was at five. His encounter with the fangirls had been noted, and he used his Elven senses to make sure he wasn't going to walk into a trap. That was when he smelled the foul air. It smelt…like…pee. Which was really odd… He followed it and came to the couches to find Jared and Shawn both sound asleep with their hands dipped in their respective cups. Curious. And then Legolas realized what had happened. At once, he began to laugh insanely, falling onto the floor. The sheer simplicity that had been done was mediocre, but it certainly got the desired effects.

The two boys woke to Legolas's uncontrolled laughter, and to a warm sensation. They both looked down at the big wet spot, and then looked at each other. "CHLOE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

~*~

An embarrassed Shawn stood outside, hosing down the two huge cushions that were once apart of two couches. _Stupid Chloe.__ I looked like a total retard in there! 'I still wet the bed…' Uhh, I'm not going to be able to live this down. And why the hell did she do it?!? The only thing Shawn could think was that Chloe was secretly out to get him. She was going to kill everyone and then run off with Legolas to Las Vegas, go to a drive through wedding, be betrothed to the Elf, and then return to Middle Earth via Jared, who she remembered not to kill for the transportation and cool magical things he could do. Maybe they would even go on tour with Legolas and Chloe dressed up as assistants to Jared while he became a magician. Then again, it was all just theory._

It was when he finished cleaning the cushions he noticed that he hadn't seen Meg yet. Making a mental note to wake her up, he went back inside to wash up. Jared had just come out of the shower, feeling a tad better, though still embarrassed by the childish antics of Chloe. Jared borrowed some of Shawn's clothes (Shawn swore he was going to lose his wardrobe between the three of them; being Legolas, Jared, and himself). Chloe and Nina were both MIA for the moment. Apparently they wanted to cleanse and change (all the girly things). Perhaps they would glamour up for Legolas.

This left Legolas and Jared chatting.

Having fun? asked Jared nonchalantly.

If by the definition of fun, you mean, fighting for my life while being viciously pursued by two crazy women, then I would have to say that fun has departed a while ago… He continued with a smirk, Though the wet Istari was a sight to behold.

Jared blushed violently red, Keep that talk up, and there won't be a return trip to Middle Earth.

Which reminds me, how goes the magic?

Jared sighed, Considering the five am wake up call, alright. I can't give you an exact time, but I'd say soon. Until then, just relax.

I would, but Elidh-Feredir is still out there.

I had a weird dream about him last night…he was running around the high school with a body under his arms, then he leapt off the top and continued to fly around seeking vengeance, then dropped the body, which turned out to be you, and then orcs started crawling out of the ground, but Megan flew in all angelic like, and saved all our asses, except for yours, which was dead.

Legolas scoffed, Interesting dreams you have, Istari. Should I take this as a premonition of things to come?

Jared shrugged, I don't know. Ask Megan.

Megan? Why?

He leaned forward, Because she'll be the one to rescue you if you had fallen like a second later.

Legolas, receiving some weird vibes from Jared, decided he better check on his little blonde haired girl. She had gone off to bed early last night, or so he believed. He hadn't seen her after the run in with Sauron. He figured Shawn or Chloe took care of her. He was too engrossed with the presence of an Istari to notive too much of what was going on.

He knocked on the girl's door, painted pink with flowers on it. "Megan? Lle cuiva?" (Megan? Are you awake?) No answer. He didn't like to intrude, but insisted on doing so. He entered her room and saw the windows open, the air making the curtains float enchantingly in the air. "Aier," (Short one,) he soothed. He looked at the bed. A fully made bed. It was as if no one had slept there at all. He felt the inside for some kind of warmth that would determine whether or not a body had at all been there in the past hour or so. Not at all. Megan hadn't been in her room. Perhaps she already was awake and around the house? But wouldn't she come to him? Or at least run into someone. It wasn't like she could cook for herself.

Legolas exited her room and asked Jared if he had seen Megan at all this morning. Shaking his head, no, Legolas worked his way around the house, searching every nook and cranny. Nothing. Megan wasn't there. Maybe she was with Chloe and Nina? That was possible, but unlikely. Still they couldn't be sure.

It was when he heard two screams that Legolas became extremely worried. Running out to the front door, he saw Chloe and Nina pointing at the door. He turned to look at the front of it and saw a knife with a note sticking out from it. Written in elegant Sindarin, it read,

Prince Legolas Greenleaf-

I would like to congratulate you on your successful extraction of Sauron from this world. However, this leaves me with the problem of how to return home. As you have noticed, a certain member of your party is missing. Attached is a lock of her hair, which Legolas noticed was in back of the note, If you want to have this little girl that you are so fond of back, then come to 1568 Adam Street. And be sure that if you bring any sort of weapon, her death will immediately be at hand.

Best wishes-

Elidh-Feredir

Jared was reading the note over Legolas's shoulder and went to fetch Shawn as quick as he could. How could he? How could Elidh take some one else's life? An innocent child no less. Rage boiled as Legolas's eyes burned with a passion to see the one behind this kidnapping suffer. However noble and wise Elves were, there was no compassion now. Those eyes felt no such thing. The eyes of a killer.

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews:__**

Nina: Nina couldn't kiss Legolas because…then YOU would've been! Lol, just kidding. Hmm…well with this chapter, you know you are right. -_- sadly you figured out my evil plan. Mmmmm old school bsb with nick and brian…ohhh the goodness! Too bad Nick is a freakin loser now. He should NOT have gone solo. And as for Aaron, his first cd was wicked cute, lol. Hmm…how old is Jared? I'll have to think about that one. Let's say close to Legolas's age!

AraelMoonchild: I LOVE YOUr reviews! Lol, no really, I love reviews, but I must go help bring in groceries! AHH! Thanks for the LOVELY review!

Blume: Wee! A Jack-esque live would be SO cool! Snowball cookies? Don't think I've ever had them…but what's really good (that involves sugar) is Fried Dough! ::drool:: I was just at the beach and they loaded it with sugar, very happy Kayo. I would've laughed my arse off if I could make Legolas and Shawn kiss, but it's like, the girls are on one side, the guys on the other, it just wouldn't happen. Though maybe, I could get them to kiss heehee, ya that's hot. I'll make a one-shot chapter where Shawn and Legolas get at it, hahahaha. I LOVE YOU! SAND! WoOo! I wonder where it's from? ^_^ Oh well, I'll never know! Thank you for the lovin!

namarie2legolas: damn, naked Orlando bum. That would've been nice to see, but I know for a fact, almost everything in the lower region of a guy is pretty much ugly. But in my mind, Legolas has a nice butt, lol. Bleh no Viggo. He's ugly not as Aragorn. WOO SEAN CONNERY! Damn, he's good looking for an old guy! Aladdin, hahaha, that's funny. If I were to pick a Disney cartoon character, it would be…either Aladdin or Peter Pan in like 4 years. I would give you a list of hot guys, but ya kno, I don't think people want to see that…^_^

Anthy's worst fear: HI AYANA! If you were thinking to make Shawn and Legolas kiss, can't do. Rules of spin the bottle. Damn them all. Unless Legolas was really a girl, and he's not too far off with the hair and pretty eyes! Heehee. Uhh, I have Spirited Away without subs, my Japanese teacher gave it to me, and though he said he taped it with subtitles, they didn't show up, so it's like, okay, what do I do with this? I think I watched a wee bit of it before giving up (though by then I saw the English version and liked the English cast better). Good movie though. As I say, it's the Japanese version of Alice in Wonderland. ^_^ Go see it if you haven't!

tamara: I see…I love…Jack Sparrow. Do you love Jack Sparrow? We all love Jack Sparrow…

Josh: lol, I thought you'd love that. And hey, a girl wants to be savagely thrown against a wall and kissed. He's got the right idea in mind! He was worried about everyone kissing everyone. Think of him as a bit pansyish, lol. School…::shudder:: why did you have to remind me?? I have three reports to do within three days! AHH! But hey, you might get two more after this. Ya never know! ^_~

Dreamstrifer: Yes, that was Legolas's first kiss. Lol, Shawn's dad is a freeloader, I need to make an appearance with him…hmm…hey your dad liked Pirates?? NICE! Everyone who sees it likes it. Pepsi is good, same with Vanilla Coke, and have you tried Pepsi Blue, or whatever it is? That's pretty good too (listing my soda preferences, lol) I spel how I want 2 spel! :P YAY FOR THE PLAY ::runs off singing, we love you Conrad, oh yes we dooo…::

Thanks for all the reviews! The next three days are dedicated to doing my summer reading reports, so I'll try to get a *good* chapter in here at some point. ^_^


	15. Oh Dear

Sorry for the lateness! Writer's block and school just started and and and DON'T HURT ME!!! Warning: Another song parody (I love them so)

And what made me get off my ass: (it's a conversation)

Josh: give jared a sword…

Josh: ::pleads::

Me: he has a staff

Josh: fuck that! Gandalf had a sword

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter XV: Oh Dear

Shawn found himself reminiscing over the events that had taken place after Legolas had found the note stabbed to his front door. Jared had run into the bathroom while Shawn was just coming out, humming to himself a Reggie song as Jared burst in. "Megan'sbeenkidnappedbyfreakyElidh-Feredirandhe'sgoingtokillherifwedon'tgodowntown!" Shawn gave Jared a confused look, not being able to make any sense of what was being said.

"Put spaces between your words…" He stated as he ran a towel through his hair to dry it out.

"Megan's been kidnapped by freaky Elidh-Feredir and he's going to kill her if we don't go downtown!" Shawn dropped his towel and stared at Jared, disbelieving his best friend's words. _Megan…with Elidh?__ No…he can't kill her! She's my little sister! And she's only five! And my dad is going to kill me!!!!!! Shawn ran out of the bathroom, only in a towel, to wear Nina and Chloe stood, gaping at the door._

"Where's Legolas??" _Please don't tell me he ran off again!_ Chloe pointed back inside the house. As he ran back in, Chloe snapped out of her stupor to comment on Shawn's rippled abs. To this, Nina replied,

"Yaaaaaa ," and sighed. Shawn, however, was oblivious to the girls checking him out and saw Legolas searching his living room, looking desperately for something.

"Whoa there! Calm down! What are you doing??" A pillow was thrown off the couch as Legolas looked through the crevices for his plunder. Jared, however, entered the room carrying what Legolas sought.

My thoughts exactly Legolas, Jared smirked as Legolas nodded his head in approval. "Shawn, the note said Legolas couldn't bring any weapons (well technically it said if _you, meaning Legolas because it was addressed to him), but nothing against US bringing weapons!" He handed Shawn the legendary Elven Blades of Doom. "Think you can hack off someone's arm and/or head?" _

Shawn smirked evilly, "Of course."

When Nina and Chloe had come over the initial shock of their beloved little girl being stolen unfairly (although Chloe did say that the competition was thinning out) they approached Legolas with weapons of girly destruction.

You DO realize that you have to go out in public again? Nina and Chloe backed Legolas up to a wall. And you look too much like an Elf still… Legolas fully understood what this meant, but decided he'd rather not be tied down to a chair in order to be human-fied.

Sighing in defeat, he said, Do what you must, but make it quick. I want to save Megan as quickly as possible.

We know, Leggie-babe.

Please don't call me that…

I call you whatever I want, bitch!

"Bitch?" Legolas questioned Shawn and Jared. Shawn snickered and went into his room to once again provide clothes for the Elf-in-waiting. Jared went to search for Legolas's bow and quiver, somehow being misplaced in the chaos of the past few days. Nina and Chloe led Legolas into Shawn's room, discarding Shawn from his own closet and dresser.

"I swear, Nina, your boyfriend needs to buy some new clothes. These are so…pansy-ish."

"Screw you Chloe. You're just jealous that you can't get a guy like him." Chloe was digging through a draw when she opened up the next one and screamed, pointing at the draw with unbearable fright.

"What is it!??" asked Chloe. "A spider??"

"Worse," she went back to the draw and picked up what looked like a magazine. "It's porno."

Legolas stared at the magazine for a moment, then realized what was on the cover, and proceeded to blush madly and look away. Standing awkwardly in the corner of the room, the door was slammed into him by none other than Shawn, frantically wanting to know why his girlfriend had screamed.

"Was it a spider??" He asked, almost out of breath from running across the house.

"No, it was NOT a spider (why does everyone think that??), but I found a secret stash of yours in your draw," she said, holding up and waving the discriminatory magazines. Shawn clearly paled, unable to cope with what his girlfriend just _had_ to find while looking for clothes for Legolas. _Never again am I allowing girls to even set foot in my room._ It was then he noticed the squashed Legolas behind the door, still with a shade of pink on his face, trying not to look too embarrassed, and failing miserably. _Oh no, he's showing a moment of weakness!! Run, Fairy-boy, run! Before she…never mind. Chloe had made her way up to Legolas, with a magazine tucked under her arm._

She made her way closer and closer to Legolas, their faces only inches apart. Legolas had shifty eyes, trying to find something else to look at other than the pink haired girl's face and arm. But no such luck came to out Elf, when Chloe took the magazine and carefully placed it on top of his head. Why she did that, no one would ever know. The moral of this porno: don't leave your porno in such an obvious spot. It might end up on an Elf's head.

~*~

Why??? Cried Legolas, being pushed out the door. Sure he wanted to rescue Megan, but there was the whole public decency thing going on. Chloe and Nina gave a hard push to his back as Legolas locked his legs in the doorway, an unmovable Elf.

Because now you look like CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW! Shawn and Jared just gawked at the Legolas hack job that the girls claimed was "sexy." If Legolas thought the punk look was bad, the goth look was worse. Black. All black. He could deal with that. What he couldn't deal with was the heavy black eyeliner that surrounded both his eyes, along with fake earings dangling from his once beautiful pointy ears. This time, they dressed Legolas as a gothic man from hell.

While Shawn owned a very large selection of clothes, ranging from several different styles, the goth look was one that he did not prefer, though owned a couple odd black shirts that could be considered goth. The one that the girls from hell had chosen was a black sleeveless shirt with red dancing flames emitted from a skull, while tight leather pants had been forced upon the poor Elfling. His hair, while not having been cut, was shoved into a hat and put on backwards, covering his once again obvious Elven ears. And of course, there was the heavy eye liner.

Hey Legolas, shouted Jared, holding his staff with one arm, I see you've evolved into a new breed of Balrog. I like to call it, Elfrog. Legolas glared at the Istari. He couldn't care less that Jared was more powerful than himself, and most likely, very much older…older…

I would watch what you say, old man! Legolas retaliated. Chloe was laughing her ass off, slipping on the carpet and falling onto the floor with a thud. One girl down, one more to go.

"But Legolas!" Nina tried to reason, "If you don't wear a good disguise, people will recognize you and try to do naughty things to you, like in that porno magazine!" Catching _most of the words, especially the newly learnt "porno" word, Legolas let himself be gracefully expelled from the doorway. Nina, of course, fell down on top of Chloe. The three guys outside just stared at the girls._

"Do you think they would look good in Playboy together?" Asked Jared.

"Very much so, my friend. Very much so."

~*~

"Every night with Leggie

I see him, I feel him

That is how I know he's the one

Far across his nudeness

And muscles and down there

Leggie's come to show off his bum

Near, far, wherever Leggie is

I believe that his hotness lives on

Once more, I opened the door

And he's naked in the shower

And his nakedness'll go on and on

Leggie can touch you one time

And it lasts for a lifetime

And never let go till we're pregnant

Lust was when I loved him

A couple minutes before I raped him

And my Leggie will always go on

Near, far, wherever Leggie is

I believe that his hotness lives on

Once more, I opened the door

And he's naked in the shower

And his nakedness'll go on and on

Leggie's here, there's nothing I fear

And I know that my Elf will live on

We'll stay in Middle-Earth for all day

You are Leggie the Prince Greanleaf

And your nakedness'll go on and on~~"

Chloe finished her ballad to Legolas while she, Jared, Shawn, Nina, and of course, Legolas walked the streets of Edison, heading towards the infamous 1568 Adam Street.

"Why thank you Chloe for your rendition of Celine Dion. I hope you know that you've ruined that song for me," said Shawn as they walked down the side walk.

"Ah, you hated that song any way. The way I see it, I've made it better!"

Legolas was speechless for his body to be openly sung about in public. Then again, the public didn't know that he was Legolas, just some kid wearing freaky makeup, and attracting a lot of unwanted attention. Just before Chloe had broke out in song, two goth looking girls (both were wicked short compared to Legolas) came up to the group, asking for a picture with the "hot tall guy." Maybe they were tourists. Maybe they were stalkers. Maybe they were spies from the government to track down the slayer of the orcs (which were still being discussed and pondered over). Shawn didn't have the answers, but he didn't like that Legolas was becoming the hot guy of the day again.

Speaking of the "orc attacks" as they had been dubbed by the media, Shawn hadn't had time to check out the news to see what was happening up at the old high school of his. He didn't even dare go up there again, though he knew he would have to if Nina and Chloe wanted Legolas to go to school with them for a little while. Then Shawn would have to hack into the computers _once again and hopefully not be caught by another acquaintance of olden days, possibly resulting in a life or death duel. Not the best idea in the word. But then again, the powers at be (Nina and Chloe) demanded it, and so it would be done._

Walking down the crowded streets of Edison, the group noted that it was almost mid-day, though the note didn't specify what time they had to be at 1568. Nina thought at first that the numbers could be a specific time, but seeing as how there was no such time as 15:68 (not even army time), that idea was ruled out. Jared could only presume that Elidh didn't care when they arrived, though that was obviously stupid. They would have the upper hand, being able to sneak in and surprise Elidh. There had to be more to it than that.

And more to it there was. Shawn noticed where they were headed and gave a loud groan. A perfect place to hide a little girl. 1568 Adam Street, also known as, Shbooms. Shbooms was a concert hall where various local and popular bands would play. What made it the perfect place to hide Megan was that there were almost a thousand or more people waiting in line to get into the tall tan building.

And then Shawn realized what made it the perfect place for Elidh to lead Legolas to. _The sound! Legolas won't be able to deal with punk music being blared throughout the building! His ears are WAY too sensitive!! Even after telling Legolas this, he would not be deterred. He was going to find Megan and save her, even if it killed him (well, he didn't want to die, but he was willing to risk it!). Innocents should never be involved in personal disputes or revenge. And in this case, Elidh was having a major case of "revenge is sweet."_

"Think we could sneak in through the back?" Nina looked around for guards. "The guards are mostly centered around the line right now. If we go to the other side, we could go in." Shawn rubbed his chin thoughfully.

"Even so, there'll be guards inside, backstage. We need to get them out too. Maybe by means of distraction…" The last word was slightly emphasized as the three males of the group stared at the two girls.

"Oh shite."

~*~

Legolas, Jared, and Shawn were hiding behind a parked car on the side of the road, pretty close to the emergency exit which for some reason had a guard near it. They figured that would be the best spot to go through because the guards inside would have to turn off the alarm so that no one would fret when the door was opened. Then they would get through the door before it closed, and hopefully find a nice hiding spot to figure out where Elidh and Megan were.

It all depended on how Nina and Chloe pulled off their distraction. Jared glanced at his watch. They should start their plan just about…

"Hey! Those are our tickets!"

"Give those back!"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing??!?"

Nina and Chloe, with nylons over their head, were running down the line of people, grabbing the tickets of people who were holding them out in the open. They made sure to start where the guards were, nearest to Legolas, then work their way up, and break out into a desperate run from the guards. Where they would go when they were being chased? Luckily, Jared was having some major magic powers returning, and gave them a magical cloak that made them invisible. (Shawn – "Seriously, Jared, you could be a little bit more original and stop taking ideas from Harry Potter." Jared – "You should give me more credit than that…I made them disappear! Shawn – "Good point.")

With many tall men clad in white shirts that said GUARD on them chasing down the two crazed fangirls, Shawn, Jared, and Legolas, dashed to the door one had just exited, catching it with the end of Jared's staff. Out of sight by the door, two more guards ran out as well, the people in line having become a bit rowdy. Jared glanced inside the hallway, and not seeing anyone, ran through. Legolas followed, as did Shawn in hot pursuit.

They were met by a red staircase leading both up and down, along with the first band warming up. With the first audible strum of the bass, Legolas's hands raised up to his ears, attempting to rid himself of the sound. _Pity for the Elf.__ This is only the warm up. The bands get way louder than this. Figuring that they should split up and look for Megan in both directions, Jared went up stairs, heading for the balcony, while Shawn and Legolas headed down, towards the basement area._

Clutching the hilt of the Elven Blades of Doom, Shawn formed a cold sweat on his forehead. It wasn't that he was scared of Elidh. He was scared of what Elidh had done to Megan. Sick bastard. If he even touched her, he would be dead! Fueled by imagined anger, Shawn led the way into the dark void.

Legolas himself was a bit nervous. No weapons other than himself for protection. He didn't like the idea of being weaponless, but hopefully, if they played their cards right, Legolas could hide Shawn when they approached Elidh and attack him from behind, if at all possible. His Elven senses would alert him to any danger coming. A soft glow emanated from his body as they went deeper and deeper into the basement of Shbooms. Something draws near. I can _feel_ it. A warning for a person to come.

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews:**

Das Blume: My fic has gone quite dramatic, hasn't it?? lol, sorry bout that everyone! It's supposed to be humor! (No, Jared can't see into the future. Though he wishes he could.) Fried Dough is either sugar or powdered sugar on basically, fried dough. I've never heard of it with melted sugar or cream…that's just odd, lol. Heehee, I want to have a one-shot chapter. I'll do it one day when I'm in a yaoi mood (then again, when am I not??) And as for the weather here: it's wicked hot in the summer, then cold for the rest of the year, lol. I live in New England, so it's expected.

Josh: Hey Josh, maybe YOU'RE the villain?? Maybe Elidh is the protagonist and you're actually one f*ed up bastard?? Hey, that's a good idea. Damn that I can't use it. Though in my one-shot with Shawn and Leggy ::ponders:: MWAHA! ::coughreggiecough:: I still don't know what movie that's from…haha, Jared the pimp. I can see that.

Lindiel Eryn: He's a meanie for impersonating Aragorn. Damn Aragorn look alike! Damnit! Stop guessing what happens (though you didn't think of Shawn and the Elven Blades of Doom © Kayo Inc.) I think Jack Sparrow was hotter. :P Just my opinion though. I heard from a friend he (Orlando) is going to be in a movie with Heath Ledger. Interesting.

RaptorRage: Elidh's not a bastard. He's a kind man at heart. I don't know how or why. But I feel I should defend him, lol. Wait, I got one thing: he's a loyal bastard! Maybe Batman will save Megan. Now THAT would be cool. ^_^

Velveteen: You are very *very* awesome for reviewing! I wonder, has Legolas ever looked in Galadriel's mirror? Hmm…I wonder. I know evil Frodo did. Damn hobbits. Except for Merry and Pippin, cos they're cool. Especially Merry. ^_^

namarie2legolas: hahaha, Orli is a pretty boy. But hey, love who you love! Cutter + Elfquest = me @.@ Wha?? I know nothing. Green beans…right…those are out in my garden…Plotting to take over the world. Green beans from hell I say! October?!? YOU SUCK! I wanna see Legolas as a vampire too…I think I know what I'm doing for my next fic! ^_^

tamara: I also really love Jack. Hence why my new nickname is Jack. And Molly's is Boot (for Bootstrap Bill). If only I could be a hot man like Jack….except not be a man. Never mind being the man, I just want Jack Sparrow, lol.

Dreamstrifer: Before I say anything, Legolas's appearance was based off that goth looking picture of Orlando that you showed me. I WANT THAT PICTURE AGAIN! I never saved it u_u. Yes, I prefer guys' hair and muscles. That's my area of lust. But I know several girls who check out guys' asses, and it is VERY disturbing. Not to mention I hate that whole area of a guy, though I can imagine it and not be like, GYAH! I'm a weird person…I HATE THAT DAMN CONRAD SONG!!!

Nina: Howie's makin an album?? But he sucks! Wow…he wasn't that good looking out of them. Brian was the best, though for some reason, I liked Nick back then. Hahaha, Megan a secret pyromaniac. Now I have to ask the real Megan that she is based off of! Lol, it's going to be a very random question during school, I can assure you that! Legolas about to go in assassin mode next chapter! Weee!

Sorry to leave you off with a cliffie! But look, it's a long chapter! I'm really sorry that it took me this long to get it done, but I had writer's block, and for some reason, the juices were flowing today (though I don't think that well). But anyways, since school has started, I'll try to have a chapter every week, but I might have a job, so add that to my schedule @.@ Whatever! Only a couple chapters to go! (Shbooms is NOT mine. I do not own Shbooms. I'm just not creative enough to make up a real place!)


	16. Easy Action

THANKYOU EVERYONE FOR 100+ REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And for a present, an extra long chapter!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter XVI: Easy Action

Legolas shoved Shawn towards a wall, out of sight from the impending approach of some soul. Half wanting it to be Elidh, more wanting it to be Megan, Legolas waiting in a dark corner, ready to pounce at whoever was crossing. The steps grew slightly louder, everything caught by the Elven ears. Even though the music was blaring up stairs, it did not hinder his hearing abilities. (The floor must have absorbed most of the sound, Shawn figured.) The sound of breathing now, it couldn't be Elidh. He would know enough not to breath so heavily. And the footsteps were way too intense to be a small child. For a brief moment, he saw a white shirt clad man rushing up the stairway, completely oblivious to the two gate crashers hiding in the shadows.

When the racketing footsteps had resided, Legolas and Shawn continued on their journey through the darkness. Legolas had to control his glowing aura. He didn't want to be caught off guard or be known by the faint light that emitted from his body, and so was trying his hardest to cope with the mine-like building. Shawn, on the other hand, wanted Legolas to be his own personal flash light. _Light is good. We like the light. If the light fades, I can't see a thing, stupid Elf!_ Shawn ran into some metal stand that held clothes for the fourth time and held back a cry of pain. The last thing he needed was Legolas to turn around and go all bitchy on him.

They continued down the never ending hallway. To Shawn's greatest surprise, there were no lights at all in there. What the hell were the workers supposed to do? Carry flashlights around with them if someone happened to have to go down there? One would only hope that this wasn't some kind of illusion, like the Labyrinth. But then again, it made more sense. Maybe there were other hallways that they missed because they were so well hidden. Catching Legolas's attention, Shawn whispered as low as he could,

"Are there any other hallways we can go through?" Legolas, having received one English lesson from Chloe, only understood a wee part of what was said, though he was thinking the exact same thing. Maybe his senses hadn't picked anything up, distorted by the thunderous instruments playing only a level above them.

"Let us that way," he said, hoping Shawn caught on. _Lacking on words, I see. Mental note to teach Legolas more English after this is over…again…Legolas had pointed towards what looked like a break in the wall. Stealthily making their way over (Legolas had no problem with this, Shawn though…), they noticed that they had reached a dead end for going straight forward. Instead, the hallway branched out to the left and right, both pathways heading into complete darkness._

"Now what?" Asked Shawn. Legolas took a moment to consider. They could both fight, that wasn't a problem. He just really wanted to catch Elidh off guard in order to take him down easier and hopefully not harm Megan in the process. He faced the right path.

"I will go this way," he stated. "You go that way," motioning to the left. Shawn understood. Whoever ran into Elidh had the first chance to take him out…unless Jared had already done so. Heading off in their own directions, Shawn wondered what Jared was doing right now anyway.

~*~

Jared, in all his glory, was walking through the balcony, bodies being pushed roughly against him. Of course he was happy when he contacted with a rather pretty and big breasted girl, and utterly appalled when a guy was shoved into his face. He had shrunken his staff, only an inch long now and hanging as a necklace from his neck. The perks of being an Istari. Though he was very content to just mosh with the people around him, he paid attention to those suspicious black haired males, all the while grinding of course. If only Nina and Chloe could've come inside, he would've been a very happy wizard guy.

He made his way through the crowd to the overlooking part of the balcony. Below him, people were crowd surfing, closing their eyes and flipping off no one and anyone. It was pretty funny. At one point, some guy's legs were totally perpendicular to the floor, his head nearly touching the ground. Muscular men in white shirts lined the floor before the stage, pulling the crowd surfers from their curl and setting them straight again. He saw one man kicked in the head while attempting to straighten out some girl, a little too into to the music. Jared laughed at all the people down there. Concerts. That was the place to see some really funny shit.

Water was being thrown onto the audience, while some actual water bottles were passed from person to person; any sense of hygiene was thrown away. Water was the ultimate goal of each person on the floor. Every person down there was wet with water and sweat.; most of it not even being their own. Several random guys were throwing their bodies around, attempting to dance to the loud bass and drums. People were head-banging, limbs flying everywhere; Jared swore they reminded him of Orcs having sex. Inwardly laughing, he glanced at the stage. Might as well get a free show while he could. Elidh didn't seem to be on the balcony (Jared doubted it anyway, seeing as how there were more people up there, and it would be harder to hide Megan in a large crowd of raving people), this was why Jared chose to go up stairs anyway.

He saw the singer, instrument-less, swinging the mike in a circle, then shouting the next vocal as loud as possible against the music. The drummer was an interesting character, only clad in boxers…Jared quickly changed his gaze. Next was the lead guitarist, a guy with glasses and dyed blond hair. Kind of bland, but at least he wasn't jumping around with his guitar like the dread-locked man next to him. He seemed…really angry. The last person in the band (Jared never caught the name of it) was dressed in all black. He was quite calm, maybe ever more so than the lead guitarist. Nothing fazed him, not even the water bottle that was just aimed at his head. Though a small glare was unleashed upon whoever threw it. This one glare, this one fear striking glare set off Jared.

"SHIT!"

~*~

Shawn cursed under his breath when he came upon a dead end. _Well of course! It's just my karma catching up to me. Knew I shouldn't have stayed after school to print out that stupid fanfic for Nina. Shawn sighed and turned around. Wherever Elidh was, it wasn't down this particular hallway. Hopefully Legolas was having more luck. Where was he hiding? Where was Megan? He better not have hurt her. If Legolas didn't kill him first, Shawn would make sure to torture the man to the fullest extent and then send him to oblivion. Maybe he would embark on methods of Chinese torture, with water slowly dipping onto his forehead every second or two until Elidh went insane. Either that or sick Nina and Chloe on him. Either or, Elidh was in for some major punishment for kidnapping his sister._

The next thing Shawn saw startled him, it was an extremely bright flash of light, illuminating the entire hallway he was in, and most likely the ones around him. At first he thought that maybe there were lights down there, but seeing none in sight, he stood dazed and confused to the world. He blocked his eyes as his sight was overwhelmed. What the hell was going on?!?

He felt a hand grab his arm and drag him forward, the surrounding area becoming even brighter, if possible. Shawn felt blinded, helpless without his sight. He fought against the person holding him, figuring that the guards had figured out they were down there and had some kind of advanced "capture the intruders" kind of thing going on. Only when he heard the gentle speech of Sindarin did Shawn realize it was Legolas holding him.

"What the fuck!?" he yelled, still stunned by his blindness. How could Legolas see?? Didn't he shield his eyes when Gandalf went all "oh look at me, I'm God" on them? Obviously Peter Jackson didn't know the kind of light Elves could handle. But apparently, Jared did.

Legolas half pulled, half dragged Shawn to where Jared had lit up his staff as bright as it could be. Legolas only assumed this was something important. To give away their location would be a horrible mistake at this point, one an Istari wouldn't dare to make…even if this particular Istari had been brainwashed by the culture he lived in. Legolas himself had come upon several doors of which he checked and held various mechanical objects. He had no idea what they were (later finding out that was where the air conditioner was located) and didn't care to find out at the moment. When he saw the bright light, he knew it was Jared and went to retrieve Shawn, running around with his hands over his eyes, stumbling against the wall. While it could've been a very humorous sight, Legolas had no time for humor.

Legolas noted at once that they were nearer to the stairway where the sound came pouring down. He really had to concentrate on ignoring it. Jared dimmed the light as Legolas approached with Shawn. Shawn was blinking on his part while Legolas began the interrogation,

What's wrong, Jared? Did you find Elidh-Feredir? Legolas hoped that perhaps Jared had destroyed Elidh and was leading them to Megan's location.

In a sense, yes. But the thing is we can't reach him. He's on stage, surrounded by hundreds of people. If we even attempt to get up there, he'll see us. There's no way to get backstage, there are too many guards, and even if we took them out, he would still see us and be able to escape or taken hostages. He relayed this to Shawn. Legolas gave a ponderous look. What could they do now? They still didn't know the location of Megan, and anything they did to get at Elidh would be spotted.

"So what do we do now?" Shawn asked. "And how the hell is this guy in a band???"

"Forget that for a minute. How are we going to take him out is the more important question…"

"But it makes no sense! I mean, what did he do? Kill the original member and now he's just a stand in? Because I really don't think he could get a place in a band and-"

"DINA!" (Be silent!) Shouted Legolas. Something's going on up there, he said pointing directly to the level above them. They jogged over to the stairwell and tried to pick up what Legolas was hearing.

"-and before we play this next song, El over here wants to give a shout out, so bear with us people!" There was a cheer from the crowd before another more sinister voice began.

"This shout out goes to all our fans, thanks for supporting us by coming here, and to those who have followed us on our tour, but there's a few people who need to be singled out for the moment. My good buddy Legolas, since he looks like the pansy, is here tonight, and I want him to join me onstage for the next song! So Legolas, come on up here!" There was another cheer and a couple strums from the guitar as the band revved up.

Jared had translated everything being said as El said it. They were all confused. Why did Elidh want to announce Legolas to the entire mob? He wouldn't be able to kill Legolas easily from that vantage point. But they couldn't think for too long, the crowd was becoming inpatient.

Legolas, are you going up there? Legolas nodded and started his way up the stairs, wishing he had something to block out the sound. Take Shawn with you. I think I know were Megan is. Meet you at the south side parking lot! Jared ran down the hallway they had come in through.

"I still don't get why we're going on stage…"

~*~

Jared had to avoid the guards as he ran out of the back entrance to Shbooms. Didn't need to draw attention to himself now. But just by seeing Elidh he figured out where Megan was being held. While Elidh was the center of attention, he couldn't have Megan with him. And where could a guitarist hide something he didn't want his fans to see? Answer, in his tour bus. While Shawn doubted El's legitimacy of being in a band, Jared had no doubt. The guy had to do something while waiting for Legolas to show up. Being in a band would be the thing to do (Jared himself had wondered if joining a band would be a good Middle-Earth cover up, but then decided against it when he found out that he'd be making shit for money).

The tour bus was on the other side of Shbooms, luckily where no one was. Everyone had entered the building already and there were only a couple guards posted outside, making sure no one tried to sneak in, as some people had attempted to do (Jared being one of the successors). From his stand point, Jared could only see two men in white outside the tour bus, striking up what appeared to be a dull and boring conversation. Just what Jared needed.

Still holding a fully elongated staff, Jared looked around his surroundings for a particular animal of choice. Lady Luck was with him when he saw a lamp post that had been lighted some time ago, collecting a mass of bugs. He whispered very low, beckoning one to come near him, and grabbed a moth out of the air as Gandalf had once done. It flew away with a sort of light towards the two guards and mingled above them. Jared's simple spell did the trick. A dust came off its wings and poured onto the guards, putting them into a restful sleep. At the back of his mind, he wondered if it would've been easier to just drop kick them unconscious.

Stepping over the slumbering bodies, Jared opened the door, surprised that it was unlocked, and walked up the stairs. "Megan??" He called out. She had to be in there. "Hey Megan, it's Jared. You in here??" A muffled cry signaled him towards a back room of the bus. "Just keep making noises Meg, I'm coming!"

He pushed his way through the globs of clothes and pizza boxes. Whoever the band was had some major cleaning problems. Or maybe it was just the rock star thing. Jared brushed it aside for now, and was walking toward what he thought was the sleeping area, which consisted of a few beds on the sides of the bus. Each one had curtains drawn closed, one of which was being kicked around.

"Megan!" Jared threw the curtain open.

"Erk ne-ar quat Istari!" (Prepare to die Istari!) Shouted a creature in the tongue of Mordor, jumping out and latching itself to Jared. The surprise attack caused Jared to drop his staff. Claws were being dug into his back and arm while vicious little teeth were attacking his neck. Before he could throw it off, a high pitched scream caught his attention.

"Jared~!!" Megan cried out. Jared threw the creature off him, glancing at Megan lying tied up on the bed. If that bastard had hurt her, Jared swore to Elbereth he would banish him to the ninth circle of hell.

"Ish val kwan yoro rac!" (You cannot have the girl!) Cried the creature, a low growl rumbling from its throat.

"Try me," muttered Jared. He then noticed the creature was holding his staff, his big yellow eyes looking over at it mischievously.

"Shit…"

~*~

Legolas was being shoved through the crowd. It was like a wave. Whichever direction the people moved, he moved along with it. Shawn was holding onto his flaming skull shirt, trying not to be separated from Legolas in fear he wouldn't get his revenge on Elidh. The sound had come unbearably loud for Legolas, who was now holding his ears shut. No wonder, they were so close to the stage and the amps that even normal people wouldn't be able to hear for a couple days. Shawn couldn't even imagine the pain Legolas was going through, yet he pushed himself through the crowd, closer and closer to the stage.

And then they were surrounded. Only ten feet away and they couldn't get any closer. It was too packed. _How the hell did Elidh think we were going to get up there in the first place??_ Shawn saw people crowd surfing and touching the singer's face and mic and anything they could reach. This gave Shawn an idea.

"Legolas!!" Shawn shouted as loud as he could. He tugged at his arm and made Legolas face him. Legolas had pain written in his eyes. _Poor Elf…I'm becoming too sappy._ He put his hands together and waited for Legolas to catch on. He had a perplexed look on his face. Shawn pointed at the various people on top of the crowd. It was as if Legolas had seen the light. He stepped onto Shawn's hands and prepared himself what would undoubtedly be something he would never think of doing ever again.

And hands were all over him, just roaming his body as he was carried towards the stage. He tried to keep his feet up, as to not hit anyone in the head. Glancing back, he saw Shawn hitching his own ride to the front. Hopefully they wouldn't be separated by the movements of the crowd. Legolas gasped when someone grabbed and pushed his butt out of their way, causing him to flip around, his neck bending at a dangerously low angle. Then a pair of strong arms were lifting him right side up again, people pushing him into that one savior. He clung to his neck, the crowd surfing experience over.

The man in white set him down and began to push him towards the small path that led back to the mosh pit. Legolas grabbed his arm and yelled, "I'm Legolas!" His ears felt like they were being crushed over and over again, he couldn't even hear what the man was saying, but he was pointing at another man to his left, and Legolas took this as a sign of where to go.

He realized Shawn wasn't far behind when he grabbed his shoulder. They headed toward the new man and black, who moved aside, letting Legolas and Shawn climb on stage, behind the amps. The sound pressure lessened as Legolas' hearing slowly returned. He looked at Shawn, who seemed to be staring at something. He turned around to see what he was staring at. And there was Elidh, giving them both a wicked smile, an evil shine in his eyes.

Having fun Legolas? He asked while strumming his guitar. I know Jared and Megan are.

And that was when all hell broke loose.

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews:**

Elróthiel

: Yummmmmmm Vash coat. ::drools:: I love his outfit. I can see Legolas like that too, but I decided to tone it down a bit with just the outrageous flaming skull shirt and weird hat and black eyeliner LIKE JACK SPARROW! (Cept Legolas has more) I got the idea from a pic Orli was in. I have no idea where it is though u_u Hey, I say wicked cos that's just where I happen to live, lol. And of course goth Legolas rocks. Why wouldn't he? And WOW you don't like Elidh! (Not that I blame you, I did make him sort of a bastard) but he happens to be my favorite original character! Lol 

namarie2legolas:I didn't know Leggy trips in the beginning, now I'm going to have to watch it again. School sucks…I have four classes a day, three of which are honors, so I've been bogged down with homework, which reminds me to go read Scarlet Letter. OH HEAVEN! Lol, that just sounds so funny. Let's see, for Star Wars chicks, I'd say…Carrie Fisher too. Better actress.

Josh: Hope  your comp gets fixed soon! Wasn't the dance FUN?? Hehe, I tend to go into Luci mode at dances (if you didn't notice O_o) and hey, where was that dance you promised me??? j/k. No I have never been to Shbooms, nor do I intend to go there anytime soon. So no worries there mate. ::runs off to watch Rurouni Kenshin only to come back tomorrow morning to finish answereing reviews:: ps: that was one LONG ASS REVIEW!!! ::hugs::

Lindiel Eryn: YOU WERE MY 100th REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you ^_^ I've heard about Ned Kelley before, but I don't know when it's coming out here. Lol, I was thinking about making his ears bleed, but I always remember some show (I think it was Superman with Dean Cain (HOTTIE)) and his ears were bleeding or something, so now I just can't have people's ears bleed cos it reminds me of him. The wonders of my mind. Thanks again for being my 100th review!!!

Das Blume: hahaha, I wonder how much an Elflight would be on Ebay. Nina and Chloe just don't want any other fangirls to discover Legolas (they want him all for themselves!) Hmm…there was a tornado warning (possible touchdown??) where I live a year or two ago. (Woo hoo east side, lol) whoa…trees went down? Now that's scary! Lol, I'll take that as a possible liking to the song? And NO, I do not have porno anywhere in my room AT ALL, lol. Don't worry, if any character had to represent me, it would be a mix of Nina and Chloe.

Anthy's worst fear: O_o, alrighty. A Duke Red/Tima lemon?? That's quite disturbing, but not as bad as some fics that I've read. ::coughToad/Kurtcough:: bleh! And as for the waterguns, fill them with gas and then light a match and there you go! A flame thrower! That should scare the rest of the people away! ^_^ (Don't try this at home!!)

Mysti: ::huggles Elidh:: I wuv theeeese hot men!

GirloftheBlueFiresofNever: Wow, that is a wicked long name! And I'm glad you liked it ^_^

Nina: As for Legolas' hearing, let's just say the floor is really really thick so although some sound gets through, Legolas can concentrate on other things as well. And Legolas couldn't look like Will Turner because that would require hair dye and a haircut, both of which Legolas would refuse to do. Haha, I should've made them flirt with the guards! Damnit! But I don't think that would've worked anyway. Oh well!

tamara: I HAVE seen Orlando like that!

Dreamstrifer: Ya, the shoe and eyeliner pic (find out where your friend got it, I want to put it on my binder ^_^) Heehee, rugged men rock! And Heather's adventure's is over! Omg, I'm so sad! Merry shall cheer me up! Maybe your guitar teacher man is secretly planning to take over the world, or at least the building…ya never know…

Thank you guys for your wonderful reviews, and once again, sorry about the lateness of this chapter, school sucks, but this fic should be ::note SHOULD BE:: ending fairly soon! ^_^ But no worries, possible sequel to come! (and as for the Mordor language thing, I made that up!)


	17. ItsyBitsy Spider Parody

[A/N] I seem to like parodies…(Just the title, mind you)…and it's the itsy bitsy spider…and I have no excuse for the lateness of this chapter…er…parley?

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter XVII: The Evil Black-eyed Hunter Climbed Up the Concert Stage…Down Came the Elfling and Killed Him In a Rage…Out Came the Istari and Helped to Heal the Pain…And the Evil Black-eyed Hunter Went to Middle Earth Again

The song had just come to a blaring ending, though since Legolas and Shawn were behind the amps, the sound didn't have its harmful effects on the poor Elf. Elidh smiled and waved at the crowd, the concert seemingly coming to an end. The other band was waiting anxiously over by their instruments so they could set up fast. Elidh unhooked his bass from the amp located behind him, several water bottles lining the edge. He threw them at the crowd, water spurting onto the humid bodies. It was as if he did this as a kind gesture, as if to relieve the sweltering heat that had possessed his fans while zoning out to his music. _Why is he being nice to those people?? I thought he was a brain dead murdering thing from Middle Earth! And I still don't get why he wanted us on stage… _Shawn's question was soon answered.

So my pointy-eared-bow-twanger, you finally came. Elidh looked up and down Legolas. That's a very interesting outfit. Did your lover here help dress you?

Legolas' eyes burnt red. Insinuate anything you want! We are here now, so where's Megan?? He grabbed onto Elidh's shirt. The hunter lifted up his hands in defense.

Hey now, don't be so hasty. He glared at Legolas. You wouldn't want to harm me in front of all these people now, would you? The discovery of a living Elf in this world is much worse than losing your precious girl.

Legolas growled at him and roughly pushed him away. Elidh flashed a smirk and led them away from the stage area, towards the backrooms of Shbooms. Shawn supposed Elidh would lead them to his "star room" (those rooms with the stars on the doors) and proceed to take a chainsaw and kill them. On the bright side of things, Jared would save Megan, end up becoming a Mormon, and marrying both Nina and Chloe. Unless that was outlawed, in which he would have an affair with one of them. But that's going off topic.

Elidh, though, did indeed lead them into what looked like the band hang out room. The other band members must have ditched Elidh to hang out with the back stage pass people (mainly consisting of girls of whom they would proceed to flirt with). There was the clichéd mirror with make-up and such for the bands outfits on one side of the room while a rack of clothing stood with only hangers on it. A window was slightly cracked open. There was a little circle of couches where people could sit and brood over the meaning of life or whatever in the middle of the room, and random knick-knacks littering the walls. It was very cozy. _Like a cozy den for EVIL!_

Elidh plopped himself down on a couch, propping his legs up on the table in front of him. He took a long drink from his water bottle before speaking. So I see you decided to come. And with no weapons too. Very good, friend Elf. He emphasized the word "friend." Now I think we should get down to business.

Throughout the entire time, Legolas held a stern face, ready to pounce. His hands were drawn into fists, causing his knuckles to turn white. Elidh did not notice that Shawn had tucked the two Elven Blades into his clothes, which had somehow stayed with him even after moshing. That was at least an upper hand.

Legolas sneered at the man. Give Megan back, and then we will talk about business. Shawn felt sort of out of place with the Sindarin talk, and stood next to his Elven friend as the harsh words were spoken. Whatever was going on between them, he was sure Legolas wanted to wring Elidh's neck. 

Elidh smiled and cocked his head to the side. Now why would I give you Megan? Especially when your Istari friend is already with her, though I doubt he will come out of there with her. Once I get what I want, you can have that girl back. The smile was filled with malice and contempt.

In the back of Legolas' mind, he believed that Jared would be fine. It would be just like Elidh-Feredir to trick them into believing his only way home was in some kind of trouble. So what do you propose we do? I do not even know what it is you want!

Elidh jumped up and exclaimed, I want out of this world! Bring me back to Middle Earth and Sauron! Fire blazed in those eyes.

Shawn had taken a sudden step backwards without even noticing he had. This guy was really creepy.

I cannot being you back to Middle Earth if you are intent on destroying the only Istari located here! Elidh snorted when Legolas said this.

There is now way that Istari by himself could send any one of us back to Middle Earth. Legolas looked at him questionably. In sending Sauron there, he drained all his energy, as you know. But what you don't know is that it took him seventeen years to accumulate all that power.

Legolas was speechless. Seventeen years? Was that what Jared meant when he said it would only take "a little while" for him to regenerate his energy. Of course the time wasn't an issue for the Elf. He would live forever; but the hobbits wouldn't. He needed to return to Middle Earth as fast as he could. But Elidh's knowledge of Jared's strength alerted him to a new predicament: if he was to save Megan, how was he going to send Elidh home if Jared could not?

If the Istari is unable to send either of us home, then how am I supposed to help you?

Elidh smirked, and sat back down on the couch. Though the Istari needed an exceptional amount of energy to send Sauron home, you, Elf, are able to return home as you please. Legolas gasped uncontrollably. It is true. The goal posts in the Edison High School football field are a central portal back to Middle Earth. Did you really think Sauron wouldn't have an emergency exit back to Middle Earth in case his energy was depleted? How could you be so blind even! He brought you here through them!

It made sense. Sauron had had to use power to bring Legolas here, but the goal posts must've had some kind of magic or incantation that used his own Elven light to bring him to Edison. So he could return to Middle Earth whenever he wanted! But would he still need the Istari's help? If Elidh was willing to let Jared die, then apparently not.

It was Legolas' turn to smirk. I will do nothing to aid you. As if the flames in Elidh's eyes caused ill fate, the three men heard screams through the open window.

"That was Megan and Jared!!" Shawn dashed over to the window, ignoring the Sindarin conversation that he didn't understand at all. From it he could see the band's tour bus. _I'm such an idiot! Shawn mentally hit himself. _Of course Elidh would be a bastard and hide Megan **outside** the building, away from the crowd!_ Shawn was about to leave the room when he realized Elidh had taken out a rather long sword from who-knew-where and pointed it at his chest._

"I wouldn't be leaving so soon, no?" He pushed Shawn back into Legolas. Legolas caught him before the weight caused them both to fall down. Elidh circled them both, stroking the tip of his blade.

"I told Legolas your friend would die. I did not know it would take this long, but I guess that would mean I hired good service." Shawn gasped. Jared, Megan…were they dead?! He shook his head. He refused to believe it. Jared was an Istari! He couldn't possibly die!

Before he could think of his sister lying in there in a pile of her own blood, he shouted, "What do you mean by that!?? What did you do to Megan and Jared!?" His breaths came in frantic gasps. His best friend and sister possibly dead; he could not live with that. Though with his luck, he probably wouldn't have to. Elidh walked up to him, sword at Shawn's neck. Through all the confusion in his mind, he still thought, _once again with the neck thing._

"That is what happens when your friend here does not comply with requests. Your sister and Istari are dead," he said in a flat tone. Shawn edged his way backwards. Legolas blocked his way. Legolas. He caused their deaths. All the problems in his life came from Legolas. His girlfriend's obsession, Chloe and her fanfiction Haldir/Legolas romances, Sauron trying to kill him, his best friend turning out to be from another world; the list could go on.

"Kill him," Elidh whispered in Shawn's ear.

_Is he that stupid? Shawn questioned himself. _Me take out an Elf. Doesn't matter than my life's screwed up because of him. He's at least trying to help me, unlike this bastard._ The hidden Elven Blades of Doom were exposed from Shawn's baggy pants._

"I'd rather kill you!" And with a swift V-swipe, Elidh was the headless Elf-Hunter. The body fell to the floor with a thud as blood spurted from the severed arteries. Shawn dropped the blades. He couldn't stand the thought that he had just taken a life. Even justified by what he had done, he didn't think he'd ever forgive himself.

"Megan," he whispered under his breath. Legolas was two steps ahead of him. Legolas grabbed the blades so as to not leave any evidence. He had noticed a pole on the outside of the window. They frantically shimmied down onto the hard concrete. The tour bus was eerily quiet. Shawn feared what Elidh had said was true. Were they both dead??

"What took you so long?" a voice shouted. Legolas and Shawn scrambled to the other side of the building to find Jared clutching Megan to him. Megan was crying, her sobs came in hiccups and powerful gasps for air. A trail of blood was running from Jared. "I thought Elidh would'nt've taken that long." A small smile crossed his face.

Shawn smiled in return. "Well if Legolas here hadn't wanted to hold a Coffee Talk with Elidh, we could've been down here sooner to help." Legolas was already prying Megan from Jared. The worn child's eyes lit up when she saw it was her hero, the pretty Elf, who was handing her to her brother.

"SHAWN!" She squealed into his ear and hugged him. Tears welled up in Shawn's eyes, and he fought them away. "I'm so sorry I was gone! I won't get kidnapped again!" Shawn laughed at her innocence.

"Don't worry 'bout it. Just promise not to tell dad about this EVER." Megan nodded her head enthusiastically. Giving her another hug and picking her up, he glanced at Legolas. He was helping Jared stand up. Shawn noticed the broken pieces of his staff and a gaping hole in his side. Grimacing that that was going to be a horrible recovery, he warned, "We should get out of here before they see that mess up there." The group nodded and headed off into the night, the base of the next performing band echoing on.

~*~

"So tell me, how'd you end up with a broken staff and nasty big ass hole?" Shawn questioned on their way home, finally away from the intensely populated area.

Jared sighed. "Well there was a mini-troll thing guarding Megan. I've never run into something like it. I think maybe Sauron or Elidh created it specifically for guarding things. But anyway, like I said before, I found Meg tied up in the bus and the thing attacked me. Bastard thing knocked my staff away from me when I realized Megan was in there. We started to wrestle for it, and it broke it in half. The bottom half if pretty sharp from all the walking I've done in Middle Earth. I, of course, get the blunt end with the ball on top. So it stabs me in the side with the sharp end, causing major pain, ear-piercing cry, and a scream by Meg for seeing blood. Bloody hell does she scream loud. She distracted the creature while I took the blunt in and beat the living shit out of it. Simple as that. Of course I had to pull out the rest of my staff from my body, but hey."

This was of course, all told to Legolas again in Sindarin, though not as in depth. Legolas, however, had his mind on other things. Was it true he could return home without the help of an Istari? He had to know.

Jared, is it true that I can return home without your aid? Jared stopped short. So there was a way. Elidh told me something about the goal posts that Sauron used to transport me here. Is it true that I can return the same way without your help?

It took Jared several moments to answer, Shawn all the while trying to keep Megan from falling out of his arms (she had fallen asleep after her great ordeal). Sauron in a way has Istari energy. He could transport you because one, you are an Elf and already easy to transport because of your purity. And two, he wanted to conserve his energy. If it were possible to send you home through the goal posts, I would have a while ago. But you need something with some kind of energy there to give the final push, so to say.

Legolas sighed. An Istari, I take it? Jared shook his head.

Anyone with major energy. You just have to find him. Or he'll…find…you… They were both looking at Shawn now.

"What!? Is there something on my face??"

Jared swayed over to Shawn. "Looks like we found the person who will be sending Legolas home!"

Shawn looked at Jared and Legolas incredulously. "Why me?"

"Because it makes sense, stupid. It takes major energy to bring someone here, right? So, Sauron created the goal posts portal so it wouldn't strain him so much. That means it borrows energy. So the one who was there was Legolas appeared or was around him the longest must be the one who helped bring him here because of the amount of hidden energy he has! OH I'M SMART."

_I don't get it…_

~*~

"I can see them now," the flap of a curtain said to the door.

"And they have the goods?" Asked the door.

"Alive and well. Shall we proceed with the plan?" The flap bounced around.

"Yes." Cackling laughter from both objects. "And they thought they could go off on an adventure and use us as a distraction. Oh how wrong they were!!!"

Then the door opened.

tbc…

Sorry this took so long. I was on hiatus for a while! No worries mate, one or two chapters left!

**Responses to Reviews:**

Josh: You need a computer again. You better be happy that I wrote this chapter for you so that you _better _go to the dance tomorrow. You still owe me a dance ::glares:: Would make this longer if I didn't talk to you so much and if I didn't want this up soon.

purrple kat: ^_^ Glad to here you liked it! Btw, you spelled "write" wrong ^_~

TitanicHobbit: Awesome name!! Sorry if this chapter wasn't that funny. The next two will be. That's a promise! And you're right, Dreamstrifer has awesome fanfics. Wicked funny, that they are. I wish I were a pirate. AYE AVAST!

Vaniwen Calenlas: You have a cool name too! ^___^ heehee, I wish I were as creative with pen names as others. Oh well, I still like Kayo! And yes, yay for a sequel!

Raptor Rage: lol, yes, prisoners have their own set of "laws." Though I don't think they'd kill Elidh for killing Elves, seeing as how his inmates would think him crazy. And it's not like he's a pedofile, so yay for Elidh! He lives! And look! Meg's alive!

Das Blume: hahahaha, I forgot about the Elf light thing! Yes, we should add that to the list of Kayo Inc. products that I have (though have yet to post). ::falls on floor laughing:: can you imagine Gandalf as a pimp!?? Well, Nina and Chloe are in this chapter…sorta. ^_^;; Don't worry, they're there next chapter! And bungee jumping! NOT FAIR! I wanna go too! ::holds out Legolas as offering::

Nina: oh those fangirls aren't lazy. They're been plotting while the boys were out. As they say, When they boy's are away, the fangirls will plot and…play… lol Yaa…Nina is actually an alien from another planet sent to Earth to take over the planet. ^_^ Thanks for the review!

tamara: hey, you must've clicked the button twice or something! I got two of the same review ::laughs:: If you have that picture of freaky Orlando, I would greatly appreciate it if you would send it to me. If anyone has the picture I want it! Lol

Namarie2legolas: That review was so random and funny with the dolphin thing. ^_^; It's a good thing to know, right?? The principle at my old school looked like he was part of the mafia. And now it's cloudy out and almost time for bed! DAMN WEATHER.

Lindiel Eryn: Honored with a U, you're from either England or Canada! COOL! Lol, though I had a bad habit of spelling humorous with a U for a while. Don't know why. I bought Two Towers and have watched it several times. Though now my DVD player is being mean and I can't watch anything! ARG

Dreamstrifer: Wow we haven't talked in a while! Lol, nice job with the combat boots. My feet were stepped on like crazy! I had to push someone's arse out of my face. Didn't feel too clean after that! And yes, I'm still searching for that damn picture!

Thanks to everyone for sticking through with this! I'm going to try my best to finish this fic ASAP and start the sequel! See ya!


	18. And Here We Thought Our Troubles Were Ov...

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter XVIII: And Here We Thought Our Troubles Were Over

As the group neared the Star residence door step, Shawn once again asked for an explanation of how he was the one to send Legolas home. Jared smacked the back of his head.

"Okay: for the LAST TIME: Seeing as how it takes major energy to bring Middle Earth people here, the goal post portals would attract people with hidden energy to help lessen the strain on Sauron, who of course was not there at the time. Seeing as how you've been the only person around Legolas for the entire weekend, I'd say you're the source of power."

All that Shawn could muster was an, "Oh."

They rounded the drive way and came to the door. Shawn had the brief thought they were forgetting something, then brushed it aside. Everything was taken care of. Megan was home safe, Jared would be patched up by Legolas, and no one knew about Elidh, as far as Shawn knew. Life was good. That is, until he opened the door.

It seemed quiet. Almost too quiet. The quiet where you know there should be sound, like a bug chirping or something of that sort. But there was no such thing as the door slowly creaked open. Shawn could've sworn he had left the lights on. Apparently not. _Damn you lamp that is across the room!_ He started to walk inside, still carrying Megan in his arms, when a breeze brushed past him. _That was odd. Is a window open?_

There is something in here, murmured Legolas. Jared clutched his bleeding side while translating for Shawn. A thought occurred to Shawn.

"Nina? Chloe? You here?" There was no answer. But Legolas had said someone was in the house…What did that mean for them? Shawn hoped to high heaven that they weren't walking into another Middle-Earth trap. Legolas walked into the house first, trusting his Elven sense to guide him through what could be a very bad predicament. Jared was propped on Shawn's shoulder, another burden to the Megan-carrying boy. _Yep, I'm the pathetic normal human who gets to carry everyone._

Legolas was making his way down a dark hallway when he heard giggles. Evil giggles. The giggles of, dare he think it, fangirls. He spun around. He should've been able to see them in this light. Wait. Hadn't Jared given the two girls a magical cloak thing that turned them invisible? Legolas's eyes almost bugged out of his head.

Legolas opened his mouth to scream warning to Jared and Shawn when a hand was forced over it. Suddenly, he felt something touching around his pants, and a gust of wind was immediately apparent. Legolas struggled and easily escaped the grasps of the two invisible girls and ran for dear life. He made it to the floor, scuttling since his pants were down, and was attacked from the back as one of them through herself on top of him. He landed on the floor with a thud and shouted out for help. Jared proceeded to laugh and clutch his painful wound as Shawn attempted to balance the two people leaning on him, all the while chuckling.

Why won't you help me?!? He cried out desperately when he felt another load of weight crush his ribs. If his pants hadn't been so rudely torn down, he would've easily been able to push the two girls off. However, in the hysteria and lack of balance, he only managed to roll onto his back, which he realized was a big mistake.

Come hither, oh creature of the woods, one girl, he thought Chloe, whispered into his sensitive ear (which by the way hurt from the concert excursion). A kiss was planted on his cheek and he felt Nina (he figured) jump off him and started to drag him away by his feet. The invisible figures continued to grope the poor forlorn Elf. His cries were lost as Shawn's bedroom door was closed.

_That was quiet entertaining. Don't know when's the next time I'll see an Elf raped by invisible girls, but hey._ He shuffled himself into the dark house, turning on the light next to the couch as he set Jared down on it. Jared muttered a thanks before Shawn left to tuck Megan into her bed. He didn't want to leave her, but he had other things to attend to: as in rescuing Legolas from the clutches of Chloe and Nina.

~*~

DO NOT TOUCH ME THERE! Shouted Legolas as he jumped up from the floor and backed himself against the wall. The magical cloak blanket thing had fallen off when they had entered the room, leaving the two girls vulnerable to Legolas's keen eyes. It hadn't really mattered anyway. He could slightly hear their footsteps, but most certainly he could feel their breathing and where they were touching him. This didn't stop them, of course. And once again Legolas was looking for an exit from Shawn's room.

He saw his tunic lying on the floor from the previous day's party. Why had he changed out of it? He thought back. A sudden flash of coke being spilt all over himself was enough of a memory. It seemed like such a long time ago, yet it was only Sunday. Oh the stories he would be able to tell Aragorn and Gimli when he went back to Middle Earth. A sudden flash of guilt went through the Elf. Merry and Pippin. They still needed his help. They were depending on him. Legolas would've thought about this more if not for the fangirls. Chloe and Nina were rounding around the bed again, just as they had the previous day before. The only difference this time was that Legolas's pants were down and he was having difficulty walking around.

Legolas! Why won't you love us?!? Shouted Chloe.

"Legolas! Please let us show you our love!" Legolas paled at the thought when Chloe translated for Nina. Deciding he would take evasive action, he threw off his pants and went for the window. With a simple shove it was open and he was out, shimmying down the tree he had used before. Thanking Elbereth for the stupidity of the fangirls for having not blocked off the exists of the room they _knew_ they were going to bring Legolas into, Legolas made his way for the front door to help heal Jared.

Nina and Chloe were at a loss for words. Why hadn't they fucking nailed the windows closed?!? Or cut down the tree?!? It was so simple too!

"Nina, we lost him again."

"That we did."

"But we saw his ass."

"That we did."

"And we lost the invisible cloak…'cause it's kind of invisible."

"That we did."

"So now we're going to go harass him, right?"

Nina turned to Chloe and smiled at her. "Was there ever a doubt in your mind?"

~*~

And why don't you have pant on? Jared asked Legolas as Shawn let him in the front door.

I had to get out of the room, Legolas said defiantly. And to take them off was the best course of action. Everyone in the room (except for Nina and Chloe who were still in Shawn's room), which would just make it Shawn and Jared, looked at Legolas. Well not at Legolas, but at a certain part of him. A, shall we call it, no-no zone. Legolas noticed this and blushed furiously, pulling the goth looking black shirt as far down as it could go. He couldn't wait until he got his tunic back.

Shawn just sighed and went to his room. Nina and Chloe were just about to leave it when he opened the door.

"HEYA BOYO!" Yelled Chloe, saluting him. "Did you have fun killing people?" Shawn rolled his eyes.

"Could one of you get me Legolas's pants? We're not too fond of seeing naked Elves in the house."

"NAKED ELF!" They both yelled and attempted to squeeze by Shawn. He held out his arms steadfast.

"Get me his pants or I'll have him neutered." Nina pouted and went to retrieve the pants.

"Touchy touchy. My god, what is it with you and treating him like a dog?" She threw the pants at his face.

"Thank-you!" He closed the door with them still inside. They began to bang at it and tried to twist the knob. Shawn, however, creatively arranged it so that only someone from the outside could open the door.

"WHAT GIVES?!" Shouted Nina. "LET US OUT!"

Shawn stifled a laugh. "Ya right. So you two can molest him again. Just let the Elf rest for a minute! He has to help take care of Jared anyway. And Meg's asleep, so stop freaking shouting. Once we're all good, maybe I'll let you out." He started to walk away, his footsteps echoing down the hallway. He heard his girlfriend shout as he entered the living room.

"Ima gonna dump you!" The threat held no interest in Shawn. He knew she wouldn't. Just had to let her get over the fact she wasn't going to see Legolas for another hour.

"Woman problems?" asked Jared.

"Could we blame this on PMSing?"

"I s'pose. Or we could blame it on the looks of Legolas. I mean, girls faint at his sight and would do just about anything to be near him. If only we could put that to good use."

"True dat."

"Shut up Shawn, you're not black."

Legolas watched the two exchange verbal abuses all the while patching up Jared's side. The wound wasn't too deep. It was a little funny when they thought about it. Jared got his ass kicked with his own weapon, and it was a stick! But such is the life of an Istari.

They ended up watching the news somehow, forgetting, or choosing to ignore, Nina and Chloe in the other room. Shawn figured if they got bored, they could sneak a peak at some more of his porn.

"What? You got one with naked guys in it?" Shawn almost killed Jared. Almost. "Look, I don't think two girls want to see other girls naked. In fact, I'm sure of that. I had this conversation with Taylor before we broke up."

The news broke into their discussion. "Edison High School will be closed due to the phenomenal appearance of what the government has deemed 'a total mystery.' The bodies of the dead orcs, as most citizens have come to assume, have been removed from the football field where they were discovered by a group of football players and cheerleaders on their way to the football game. Scientists have been called in to determine how these creatures came to be here and what killed them. Stay tuned."

Shawn clicked off the tv. He had totally forgotten about the orcs and how the football field would be surrounded even now. It was only Sunday. Only two days ago Legolas had shown up. And by the looks of it, he wouldn't be leaving any time soon, even though they didn't need to wait for Jared to recover.

Legolas himself was disappointed. Jared told him what the lady on the tv had said. When would he be able to go home and help the hobbits? Would he ever go home? Would Nina and Chloe try anything while he was still there? (That question was an obvious yes.) And would he ever get out of the punk clothes?!?

Resolving that he was going to clean himself up, Shawn told him he could crash in his father's room while he and Jared stayed on the couches. Always the good host, Shawn was. He even let Legolas take another shower, must to Nina and Chloe's dismay when they heard the sounds of Elven singing.

The night was rather quiet. Sometimes the house would give off a small creak, but other than that, the company's rest was peaceful. That is, until a dark figure burst through the door, bringing with him the stench of beer and cigarettes, along with the giggles of two ladies. Enter Shawn's father.

tbc…

**Responses to Reviews:**

Das Blume: The Official Fanfiction University of Middle-Earth!! That fic is GREAT! ^__^ Toey, I love him! I kinda want to read that fic again now! Never really read the sequel though. Don't know why…Mormons? Affairs? Huh?? I know a mormon, haha, we call him Mormon Joe. Ya, Shawn be going to jail by the end of this fic for all the bad things he's done!

Nina: Hahaha, no I wasn't serious about them being aliens, though it would make for a good twist right? Legolas gets probed by alien fangirls! ^__^ Imagine the possibilities! Okay, the hole in Jared isn't like a HOLE hole, it's more of an open bleeding wound hole that doesn't go through him. Ya I should've explained that better! ^_^;;

Lindiel Eryn: Yay for Canada! ^_^ Actually, I hadn't even thought of Narnia when I was writing that, but hey, if the boot fits! I actually saw the cartoon version of the movie when I was little, sadly, I never read the books. U_U please don't hurt me!! I have hot Legolas ass!

namarie2legolas: You have goats? And they seem to be dying? How odd. My friend told me about how a firefighter fell into the cow graveyard and onto a rotting corpse of a dead cow. Ya, she owns a farm. Is Mr. Ishizoki Japanese? I'd've called him Mr. Ichycrotchy! Hahaha, elf fat for soap! I LIKE IT!

Kitten: ^_^ umm ya. Inanimate objects. And they're talking. Or maybe…they're ALIVE @.@ My sister scared me once and told me my playhouse furniture came alive at night and danced around my room. Freaked me out.

lolly pop: No I don't think you've reviewed before. I KNOW ALL! Hahaha, just kidding. ^_^ I'm glad you like my story! Ahh, a fan base, tis my greatest love.

TitanicHobbit: R.O.U.S.=Rangers of Unusual Size. ^_________ ^ I love The Princess Bride! I was so going to be Prince Humperdink for Halloween, but I couldn't find stuff for my costume. Woe is me.

And we are slowly coming to an end! I wanted to make next chapter the last one, but I dunno. We'll see what happens. School is insane. And I'm always babysitting my nephew! The little terror he is. Well, see y'all later!


	19. Herbal Essence Is the Best

A/N: This chappie's got a diary entry feel to it, sorry if that's not your thing!

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter XIX: Herbal Essence Is the Best

If it hadn't been for Shawn's desperate need for sleep, as well as Jared's, they might've heard the people entering the Star residence. Unfortunately, neither son nor Istari heard or smelt the older man. And that was the way Mr. Star liked it. The two girls he brought with him were both donned in very tight clothes, implanted breasts practically falling out of their respective place. Loads of makeup was overdone on their eyes and overall face. How they came to be with the grease ball that was Mr. Jacob Star, only the bar tender will know.

As they stumbled into the house, one woman tripped on the rug, and proceeded to give off a hideous and drunken laugh. The other woman giggled and held onto Mr. Star for dear life, both of them almost falling from his clutches. He lifted them onto his broad shoulders, causing even more laughter. "Put us down!" They giggled and kicked their feet in front of his face.

"QUIET!" He practically yelled. "Me boy's asheep, do't wake 'im up!" Apparently, he hadn't noticed the other body on the other couch. If he did, he had dismissed it. They proceeded to Mr. Star's door, also the location of a certain Elf's dwelling.

~*~

Legolas woke even before the man got to the door. Having learned from before that answering the door while naked was a bad idea (what could Legolas say? He liked the feel of blankets touching his skin!), he let his senses pound in his head. Jared would surely wake up from all the noise the intruders were making. Shawn wouldn't let some stranger in, would he? He heard several women laughing, and a man shouting. Now that would wake up the two thick-skulled boys, wouldn't it?

The door opened, and Jared and Shawn were no where in sight.

Legolas held his breath. Maybe if he slowly edged his way off the bed before the people noticed him, he could slither out the door, now wide open. Clutching the blanket, he peered over at the new occupants. A man was blocking his view of those in front of him. The man himself was rather big, and Legolas could smell cheap alcohol radiating from the sweaty and stinky body. There was a faint odor of some kind of smoke, one that Legolas couldn't recognize.

Legolas realized a tad too late that the man seemed to be stripping down, discarding his clothes wherever they happened to fall. Legolas wanted to shield his eyes from the rolls of fat that seemed to envelope the man, but the sudden movements allowed him sight of the two women accompanying him. Legolas could do nothing but gawk. Was it even possible?? Could humans have such…enormous breasts?!? They were so firm and bouncy; unreal! It took Legolas a moment to realize their faces were painted as his was when Chloe and Nina disguised him as a gothic punk thing. Only theirs were as hot pink as Chloe's head. He inched further and further into the covers.

Legolas was a proud warrior, no doubt about that. But when three nude people stood before him, laughing and giggling, and no doubt about to do something that NO Elf in Middle Earth would ever want to witness (other than the perverted ones ::coughElrohircough::), Legolas laid still in pure mortification of what was about to happen…with him in the room. If he jumped up taking all three people by surprise, something bad was bound to happen. If he laid in the bed, they would surely sit/pounce/do naughty things to him. If he slowly got up and went under the bed or in the closet, he would be subject to the act of human reproduction…

As if Fate wanted Legolas to embark on some predetermined destiny, Legolas was flung from the bed as the fat man jumped on, dragging both girls with him. He landed on the floor, and immediately looked up to see if the people had noticed. And they had. Three pairs of eyes stared at the naked Elven form, all in a drunken stupor and very…horny to put it lightly.

"Anada gurl to joeen us! 'M like Jamess Bund!" squealed Mr. Star. He jumped from the bed, the two women bouncing around with their hair flipping wildly. He landed on top of the frightened Elf, who was scrambling to escape from the compounds of the blasted blanket.

"TAMPA, tiuka!!" (STOP, fatty!) Legolas managed to squirm away from the grasp of the greasy man. "Ya raika o lle???" (What is wrong with you???) Legolas backed up to the corner of the room…still naked.

Mr. Star squinted at the strange-talking person before him. Was she Spanish? Maybe French? With a blood alcohol level that would put any man into a coma, Mr. Star couldn't even begin to realize who he had stumbled upon, nevertheless notice that "she" was a "he." The two women on the bed, however, did.

"Ohmygod! That's so a guy!" exclaimed one. The other nodded her head furiously and pointed at Legolas.

"And he's ::hiccup:: _naked!"_

To thank Elbereth wouldn't nearly show Legolas's devotion to his savior as Shawn and Jared walked/limped into the room.

"AHH! DAD!!" Shawn blocked his eyes. "Put some clothes on! All of you!!"

Whoa Legolas. Naked much? The Istari stared at the two women in the room.

I wasn't expecting a drunken man to try to rape me!!! Legolas defended himself while grabbing the discarded blanket from the floor.

"Hello ladies. Might I say that it's a fine night? Now would you please either sleep with me or leave the house." They grabbed their clothes and cold shouldered Jared. "Ya, I know. You have to force yourself to resist."

Shawn punched Jared in the arm. "Dad…what are you doing home…and with two women…and trying to…ahh…feel up my friend?" He wasn't quite comfortable discussing his father's "relationships." Mr. Star stood up.

"Well I shaw yur friend ther an' tought e was a gurl. Tought e'd like ta joeen us!" He threw his pants on. "Why 'r y'all 'ere?"

"'Cause I live here Dad, and I invited some friends over. Where were _you_ all weekend?" _Though I guess I already know._

"I washat dat new club down ther. Got a lil dr'nk I s'pose." He threw on the shirt he had just been wearing. "Guess'll go fine me ladies 'gin." He looked at Legolas. "You'da been a hot gurl!" And with that last comment, Mr. Star was never to be seen again. At least until the next time he tried to pick up some hookers.

I don't suppose I'll ever have a pleasant night again, will I? Legolas asked no one in particular. Jared threw an arm around the Elf.

Of course not! Welcome to Edison, my friend! 

~*~

The course of the next few days was rather boring compared to the utter insanity of the weekend. Seeing as how school was officially closed, giving our beloved hero and Elf the chance to "bond," the group of misfits returned to their daily routine…which was not so daily anymore. Nina and Chloe returned home so that their parents wouldn't suspect anything suspicious or start calling each other's houses. Megan was as cute as ever, hugging Legolas whenever the opportunity presented itself. Shawn would head up to the high school and scope out how many people were around as they waited for a chance to send Legolas home. And Jared, Jared was assigned the task of teaching Legolas English. Why Chloe and Nina were so persistent? Because neither Shawn nor Nina knew Sindarin, as well as Megan.

Shawn, being a manly-man (Jared scoffed at this), kept a journal, NOT A DIARY, and proceeded to write the course of the week following the weekend, with the occasional intruders who _had to write an entry as well._

Monday – Shawn

_Thank god Nina and Chloe are gone. Don't know if I'd be able to put up with them any longer. Nina in "Legolas is my GOD" mode is not something I can stand for so long. Luckily, the only times it's happened was when the first two movies were released…and of course now. Though I guess I can't blame her. If I were a girl, I'm sure I'd love Legolas. WHOA NOT GOING THERE!_

_Jared's been having a ball with teaching Legolas English. Once again, the "English for Dummies" cd comes into play. Oh look, he can understand parts of what I'm writing. Ya, he's looking over my shoulder right now. Please get off. Thank you. Anyway, Legolas told us he feels like he's in class with Thaniel again. Thaniel?? Whatever. I'm sure he/she's a lovely teacher. Just lovely. He said something about Thaniel wanting to kick his ass when he returns to Middle-Earth though. Wonder what that's about?_

_Meg's been practicing several different hair styles, on Legolas of course. Let's see, I've seen a French braid (wow a five year old can do that!), fishtail, and several kinds of knots. I don't think I ever want to witness Legolas with knots again. He's very protective of his hair. The only reason he lets Meg even play with it is because she's cute, and because something like he has a niece? Once again, he doesn't tell us anything. Stupid Elf._

_So today was rather quiet. Wake up, eat, battle orcs, save the world from a platypus bent on world domination and the end to the discrimination of platypi, teach Legolas English, host a party where everyone got drunk and the cops showed up, saw Legolas and arrested him for having illegal ears, and went to bed._

Tuesday – Legolas/Shawn

_I am writing this as a – ai! – AN exercise for Jared. I do not like English. I hope Merry and Pippin are okay. I fear they might be harmed with the uruk-hai. Shawn went up to the school today and there were not as many people as the previous day. Jared has told me to write this: I use Herbal Essence and that is OKAY. Shawn uses Herbal Essence and that is okay TOO. I do not understand this world. I cannot wait for this to be over. Battling orcs and uruk-hai is much easier than this._

~Later on that night~

_Hm__, looks like Jared made Legolas type today. He told me it took him something like an hour to do that itty-bitty paragraph. How sad. My typing skillz far surpass that untalented fairy tale creature! Hm, don't know who's going to read this though. Probably shouldn't make fun of him at all. Anyway, in retrospect today, Nina came over for a visit. She taught Legolas Egyptian Rat Trap (also know by many other names such as Atomic War, Rat Screw, and that's all I can think of). She put Chloe on speaker phone so they could all understand each other. Though I must say, Jared does have a way with teaching. If he wasn't an Istari and if he didn't have to return to Middle-Earth some day, I would expect him to become a foreign language teacher._

_Meg and Legolas went out to pick flowers in the forest after Nina left. Jared was taking a break from staring at the computer screen all day. I don't blame him. Though I suppose looking through a pair of binoculars at the football field isn't all that great either. Yep, that's right. They (meaning Nina and Chloe) exiled my from my house to watch for when everyone up there leaves. Legolas has them wrapped around his pinky about this whole "I want to go home" thing. With I had a girl wrapped around my pinky…_

_As a side note, Legolas now has a thing for cards and pizza. Amazing, we should bring him to an Italian restaurant. If only he wouldn't mind going incognito again. Though this time I think I'd just give him something to wear. Heh heh. Ghetto Legolas with bandana and all! Oh, the possibilities. Well, I'm off. I think Meg wanted Legolas to read her a bed time story (since he can read now). Damn he's a fast learner._

Wednesday – Jared

_Reporting that all is well and Shawn is a flaming homosexual. Haha, ya. Then I could get Nina for sure. Reminds me of when he voluntarily hugged Legolas to escape the guards at the high school. English lessons go quite well. They don't call me an Istari for nothing. My secret: since Legolas can use his own power and  Shawn's to get home, I've been using mine to speed up his learning. Hey, maybe then when I go back me and Leg can have some "secret discussions" when everyone is around and no one will know what we're saying. Though I don't know if I'm going to give up this personality. Too much fun. I'll just tell them this place corrupted me to the point where I know who and what I am but it's been altered to a state of no return. That should be fine._

_And for my next trick: TA DA! We found Legolas tied up in the basement this morning. Nina and Chloe had some…kinky fun with him. I don't think the Elf had ever been so happy to see another human. **Legolas:** Please don't leave me alone with these…these…things again! **Me and Shawn: Okay, no more whips and hand cuffs for those two!**_

_I have this feeling. Something is going to happen when we send Legolas home. My thoughts on this matter: I can see Chloe and/or Nina trying to tie themselves to Legolas and return to Middle-Earth with him. Oh man, that'd be like bringing back two new sources of Evil to Middle-Earth. Forget Sauron, fangirls will rule Mordor. Ai Elbereth!_

Thursday – Nina/Chloe

Heya! Nina here! _And Chloe here! Mhm, I'm writing without italics! _And I'm writing WITH them so no one will get confuzzled. _Today was a great day. We're sleeping over again tonight and have set up a full-proof trap on how to get Legolas in leather pants. __It was in a fanfic we read once. "How To Get Legolas into Leather Pants" by Kitty Meian. That was an excellent essay if I do say so myself. _I must concur. _First, we made some Lembas bread, thanks to a recipe we found online. We also found some Herbal Essence shampoo, since Legolas seems to have taken a liking to it (note: he's so taking that back to Middle-Earth with him)._

_According to the essay, we set up a snare trap with Lembas bread in the middle of it in the hallway which leads to the bathroom, where the Herbal Essence shampoo is located. Legolas is sure to want to take a shower before he goes to bed and will be burnt out from another Jared/English session. _Since there are two of us, and since Shawn and Jared took our whips and hand cuffs away, we're both going to subdue Legolas once his ankle is caught in the snare. _Then we're going to take out a pair of black leather pants that I bought yesterday and carefully put them on our lil Elfling. _And see full frontal presenting! (We also have a sock to put in his mouth if he screams!)

_This should be most interesting. We'll get back to you little journal once our plan is complete._

~Later that night~

_He has his knives on him. _Which means he cut the snare. _And when we pinned him down…He easily got up and ran away…This is the saddest day of my life._

Friday – Shawn

_It's morning right now. I walked down to the bakery and bought some doughnuts for everyone, though Legolas didn't like them too much. I sent Jared out to look at the football field. It's been slowly but surely getting better. Our chances are rising everyday! And Legolas can speak English really good. And yes, I did read Jared's entry here and saw that he's been interfering with Legolas's brain. Heh heh, in a way that's kind of funny. I found a pair of leather pants in the hallway last night. When I asked about them to Nina and Chloe, they ran away. I'll have to read their entry later. Huh? Oh, looks like Jared's back…_

_NO ONE'S UP THERE! Time for Legolas to return! And I'm being kicked off._

::Signed off::

tbc…

Sorry to leave you guys there! But yes, sadly the next chapter is the last! And sorry if you didn't like the diary thing or if it wasn't all that funny, but I wanted to go through a week without having to actually go through the week, if you know what I mean, and a diary sort of thing was the best way to do that. So give me your opinion on that.

**Responses to Reviews:**

Dreamstrifer: Woo! Drivers licensees are FUN! I have my permit and must schedule road lessons ::ICK:: I love Legolas. Lol, though I think that's apparent since I'm writing a fic to him. And ya, you must update. ::glares::

lotrgirls: girls…does that mean there's more than one of you? Lol, just wondering. This chapter took a while on cos I was having difficulties figuring out HOW to write it. Hope you liked it though!

AraelMoonChild: ^_^ Yay! People laugh at things that I write! It's an accomplishment! Next chapter should be fun! ^_^ I'm going to try to make it funny and sad at the same time.

Lindiel Eryn: Shawn's dad is…drunk…lol. I had to have a cameo by him. And so if any of you want to know, Shawn's dad did not return once at all the rest of the week. Why? Cos I said so. Or he died. Whichever you want, lol.

Nina: Shawn's always in trouble. He's going to be in more trouble. Look at the trouble he causes! Bad Shawn BAD! And ya, I never saw Space Jam. Sorry!

Das Blume: hahaha, don't we all want to be the tree that always gets to feel up Legolas? That's a good quote! ^_^ I'm putting that in my binder! Shawn's dad tried to rape Legolas, ::laughs:: Legolas is such a girl. Look! Now it's been a week with Legolas! So does that make it a living hell or heaven?

SilverLady04: Legolas's reaction to being almost raped: I shall never touch another human again for the rest of my life.

Lolly: Nina and Chloe's attempts never work. Which in actuality is good for Legolas. We gotta keep him in the V club. I salute Megan's attempts at braiding hair. Have you ever let little kids play with your hair before?? OUCH

lolly pop: Lolly, and lolly pop. Two names that are so similar. Coincidence? Probably, but hey, I thought it was funny. ^_^ Now I want candy…

Vaniwen Calenlas: hahahaha, Legolas is the kind of guy you want to dress up and hang on your wall and admire and touch and rape and do nasty things to kind of Elf. ^_^ I like Elves.

And so concludes the chapter. A note to Josh: if you don't review soon, I'm stealing your hat. No, not the new one, but the old one that's broken in. And I'll kill of Jared. Cos I have the power, and it's called the IownakeyboardandaweirdmindandthisismyficsoIcandowhateverIwant power. Don't forget to review!


	20. Au Revoir, Mellon Nin

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter XX: Au Revoir, Mellon Nin

Legolas stared at the hideous pink bag that dangled on Chloe's back. Why was it that everything associated with Chloe was pink?! "Why do you have that bag?" asked Legolas, now beaming at his knowledge of yet another language (even though he was going home). Chloe stopped dead in her tracks and threw her bag onto the pavement. The others, including Megan who refused to be left home alone, walked over to the pink haired girl to see what was going on.

"Why do I have this bag?! Are you stupid! It's my survival bag! Whenever I'm farther than half a mile from my house, I must take this bag with me!" She started emptying the contents onto the walkway. "I've got my _Lord of the Rings_ trilogy in one book, complete with a Frodo bookmark because he's just that damn special, and don't you give me that look Nina, you know you like Elijah!"

Nina wrinkled her nose. "You forget, meine freundin, that it is not the Elijah that I admire, tis the DOM that hath taken my heart of the Shire folk."

"I thought you were all about Elves, Nina," piped Jared, clad in a bluish-gray robe. Shawn had assumed it was the dress of all Istari of his rank (which Jared refused to give because he didn't want to be compared to Gandalf).

"Oh I am, but you have to have a hottie from each race. I mean, Merry is like, the hottest hobbit on the planet (Frodo is so icky!). Legolas obviously rules the Elves. Faramir is some hot shit. And for the other races, let's just say, if I had a choice, I'd go with Gollum."

As all this was happening, Chloe continued her list of items in her back, which of course astounded Legolas and Shawn. "…and I've got pads and tampons and pain killer just in case I'm ever out and it happens to be that time of the month, and I've got a stalking camera, my dad's digital one that I stole because his is water proof, and and and I have…a…ah….AHHH! _SPIDER_!!!" Chloe jumped back as a daddy long leg came crawling out from underneath a 'Free Hugs' shirt. Legolas freaked and thought that there was a Mirkwood size spider somewhere in the bushes and had brandished his knives (he was in his tunic since he was going home). Shawn just rolled his eyes and picked up the tiny bugger.

"I wish you wouldn't over react so much." Chloe climbed down from her perch on a tree. Yes, running to a tree had been her best means of escape.

"Any kind of reaction to a spider is most definitely not an _over_ reaction." Chloe picked up all her supplies and threw them in her bag. Legolas returned his knives to their rightful place. As the group started up the hill again towards the football field, now about a quarter of a mile away, he slowed down to walk next to Shawn. Shawn noticed how he looked a tad inquisitive. Leaning down, Legolas asked his Filipino friend in a whisper,

"What did Chloe mean by 'that time of month?'" Shawn felt himself wanting to fall over and laugh at the Elf's naivety. _If Legolas hadn't been so honest, I think I would have to question him whether or not he learned sex-ed with that Thaniel guy he was talking about a while ago._ Shawn cleared his throat before beginning his somewhat enlightening lecture.

"Legolas, you do know that girls have babies, right?" Legolas glanced at him with a DUH expression on his face. So the Elf wasn't as dumb as he appeared. "So then you know that they have eggs, right?" Judging by the weird contortion Legolas had managed, he took that as a no, but continued anyway. "Well, every month they kind of…oh how shall I put this…get rid of the egg if they're not impregnated. You do know about this, don't you?"

"Oh…" Legolas muttered under his breath. They started walking off again with Shawn feeling quite proud of himself for having taught Legolas something that anyone over ten should know. All of the sudden, "OHH! I GET IT!" Shawn just rolled his eyes.

They could see the top of the goals when Megan decided she was going to sit on the top of Legolas's head before he went home. That way, she didn't have to walk _and could braid in a good luck charm she had made for him: a friendship bracelet made entirely of neon colored beads. Why she decided to put it in his hair: only because she had the chance to and she loved to braid his oh so delicate and fine smelling hair._

And then, as if the walk had been just a happened in a split second, they were at the gate to the football field. It seemed that the crews had decided to take a day off and concentrate on dissecting the dead orc bodies. Shawn made a mental note that he was going to have to break into the school again and steal the video tape of Legolas returning to Middle Earth. _He's really going home. I'll be free of the Elf! I won't have to cook for six people anymore! I won't have to deal with fangirls anymore! FREE AT LAST! _

"Well Legolas, it seems we're going to be parting here," started Jared, who had gone into a weird serious mode. "I hope to be returning to Middle Earth some time soon, though I don't know if I shall see you again…the Fellowship is in more need of your skills and friendship than I. Never lose hope, and never give into despair." He grabbed Legolas's arm, like a warrior would when a comrade departs. Legolas nodded his head in acceptance. They both knew it was highly unlikely they would meet again, though Legolas could only feel that way while Jared knew for certain.

Legolas pulled Megan from the top of his head and hugged her. "I think I will miss you the most out of everyone I have met here," he whispered into her ear, just out of hearing range of two glaring fangirls. Megan gave him a quick smooch on the cheek (causing everyone but Jared and Legolas's jaws to drop) before she was set down on the ground again.

Shawn caught Legolas's attention. "Thank you for your hospitality, and I suppose for the adventure. It is something I will remember for a long time, especially that cup trick Chloe played on you. I'll have to remember that next time Elladan and Elrohir come to Mirkwood!" Legolas chuckled, as did everyone else, while Shawn turned red. "Before I leave, can I ask you one question?"

"Sure bow-twanger."

"Why are your eyes like this," Legolas used his fingers to stretch out his eyes like Shawn's. Pure naivety, Shawn swore to murder whoever was laughing at him that moment, which would be everyone excluding Megan, Legolas, and himself.

Mustering his pride, he answered Legolas's question, ignoring the snickers of everyone around him. "I'm Filipino, so my eyes are different from everyone else's since I'm from another part of the world."

Legolas was confused. "Wait, so not all humans here look relatively the same?"

"Mhm, I just happen to be one of those special individuals that gets to have the cool eyes. And don't forget my cool hair! It's so black and not like Jared's! See! I don't dye mine!" _Must stop digressing…_Shawn made the mental note.

Nina and Chloe had snuck up behind Legolas as Shawn explained his heritage. Making a last effort to touch the sexiest Elf on the planet, they dove forward and attempted to use their weight to pin Legolas on the ground, only they misjudged the angle both would jump at…and ended up hitting each other in the head, landing in a pile of tangled limbs. Legolas just looked behind him and sighed.

"Ai Elbereth, if you two had just been civilized, maybe I would have given you a good bye hug." Puppy dog eyes. "Stop that!" Evil smirks. "Why are you looking at me like that?!?" Stand and lunge. Screaming Elf, "AHHH! OKAY OKAY! I'll give you a hug!" Two happy fangirls. Praise the glorious process of obtaining a hug from an Elf.

"I'm going to miss you Legolas! We had so much fun stalking you and seeing your butt and talking about how we're going to have children together and name them Bo and Shmo!" Chloe increased her death-like hug. Legolas rolled his eyes.

"And don't forget the pet white tiger," he muttered.

"OH YEAH!" Nina pushed her away. "HEY! I wasn't done yet!"

Nina glared at her best friend. "I don't care!" She looked straight into his eyes. "Seriously, this is one of the best times I've ever had. I hope you can figure out how to come back here after you win the war of the One Ring. Or will you win the war, I wonder?" She smiled at him while Legolas tried to fidget his way out of her grip. "I can't tell you how things are going to end, but I can tell you that they never mention who you marry! So you better come back to me!"

"Ladies, ladies," started Jared. "I think it's time that Legolas was released from your possession and allowed the freedom to return home. Besides, I'm always here for the ladies of Edison!" Wink wink. "Anyway, Legolas, you go stand under the goal post." Legolas scuttled his way over the grassy field and stood facing the group with a sad expression on his face. He was going to miss them all, even if he only knew them for a week, it seemed like forever.

"So, Shawn, what exactly did you do when Legolas came here?" Shawn pointed at the gate that Legolas had jumped over.

"I was walking down from the school and then this major breeze threw me at the gate."

Jared nodded. "Alright then, why don't you just do what you did that day."

Shawn nodded and ran up towards the school, leaving about one hundred feet between him and the gate. He then started the slow decent down the pavement directly facing Legolas. A glow had started to emulate from Legolas's body, obviously starting the process of sending the Elf to Middle Earth. A small wind had started, and everyone knew it was working. As Shawn proceeded further and further down, the wind increased with speed and force, causing his hair to whip around his eyes. Slightly blinded, but generally knowing where to go, he was forced into a jog.

"I'll miss you Legolas!" yelled Chloe, jumped up and down, her bag having been hung on a part of the fence. Nina was also waving and had tears in her eyes.

"Come back soon!"

"Bye bye, Leg-o-las!" cried Megan. The glow surrounding Legolas increased significantly, only allowing the outline of the Elf to be seen.

"Till we meet again," called Jared.

"AHHH!" screamed Shawn as everyone saw that Shawn was now being forced to run the rest of the way, ready to collide with the fence with what would be a very painful impact. "Outta my way!" He shouted, preparing to crash. The wind, however, was blowing too powerfully. Before Shawn knew it, he had run smack dab into the fence, and had even stumbled over it and was holding onto the strap of Chloe's bag.

"SHAWN!" Screamed Nina as the bag slipped from the fence before any had the chance to grab it. He was thrown towards the light which had enveloped Legolas. In an instant, and a bright flash later, they were gone. The wind stopped, and all that remained of Shawn was a sneaker that had apparently fallen off his foot.

Jared walked out to the field and picked it up. "Well, this is an unexpected change of events." In the background, Nina was strangling Chloe, crying why oh why they weren't the ones sent to Middle Earth. Megan was left dumb struck as a tear slid down her cheek.

"Curiouser and curiouser. I wonder, what does this mean for Middle Earth?" He looked back at the battling fangirls. "I guess it won't be that bad."

The End

And so **Welcome to My World draws to a conclusion. I need to still fiddle with my ideas for the sequel, which has been dubbed, ****Return to Middle Earth, but I'll try to get the first chapter or two out in the next week or two. -_-; Though school is insane right now, mid-terms, books to read, my teacher actually caring if we do work in class or not!**

A major thanks to all my reviewers who have stuck with this fic! If it weren't for you guys, I wouldn't have ever finished this, seeing as how I have a tendency to do that! These people include in alphabetical order:

Anthy's worst fear, AraelMoonchild, Das Blume, Dreamstrifer, Elrótheil, Erikalya Arvanesse, GirloftheBlueFiresofNever, Josh, Katronette, Kitten, legolashater, Lily of the Shadow, Lindiel Eryn, Lindorie Aluthiel, Lolly, Lolly pop, lotrgirls, Miw-sher1, Mysti, namarie2legolas, Nina, Odd-I-See, purrple kat, RaptorRage, Rohi, SilverLady04, Smushed Pea, Supergurl15, tamara, TitanicHobbit, too lazy to sign in, Vaniwen Calenlas, Velveteen, Veronica, Witch of Darkness

Anyone that I forgot to mention or that reviewed the original **Welcome to My World,** I give you my deepest gratitude! THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! ^__^ I'll be back!!


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